Lost and Found

by Vivere 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Vivere

    Well after an almost 4 year sucessful fade including a move, they found me.

    I was not home at the time, but they were asking all sorts of questions about me and my family, who lives where etc. Of course it was one of the busybody families in my former congregation. I must admit I am a little nervous to be back on their radar. The only thing that holds me back from DAing is my parents, they are now the only ones I worry/care about in the religion. They have given their entire lives to the WTS and are getting on in years. They know I am inactive, but I do not want to go down the DA or DF path because it will crush them!! Oh the things we do for our parents!

    Why mention this, I expect they will be back looking for me. I have to figure out what to say or do and I would rather have a proactive plan I believe it will only be a matter of time. Any suggestions?

  • LostGeneration


    Seriously, what if two Mormon elders came to your door asking you all kinds of personal information? You would probably say "its none of your business" and close the door.

    Treat them like strangers, and give them a puzzled, annoyed look the second they ask a question that isn't any of their business.

  • problemaddict

    They will come. If you know them, you will be friendly. If they ask questions, just say "I think I'd rather not say......may I ask what brings you by?"

    I mean....get right to it. If they say its for encouragement or something of the sort, just say no need thank you. You do not intend on attending meetings.

    Thats it! Nothing to be disfellowshipped for or anything else.

  • Comatose

    IGNORE completely. Do not answer door and screen calls. They will give up.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Seriously, what if two Mormon elders came to your door asking you all kinds of personal information? - LOSTGENERATION

    That is a great way of looking at it!

  • jwfacts

    Saying nothing is the best policy. You cannot be disfellowshipped for being inactive, but can for apostasy, and discussing any doubts you have will earn you that label. If they come back and ask how you are going the answer is simply, "I'm fine, I will see you at a meeting when I am ready." They will ask if they can help, and just keep saying, you are fine and there is nothing you need at the moment.

    They may get belligerent and say you are risking everlasting life, and how you won't see your parents in the new system. Do not fall for that trap. Just keep repeating that everything is ok. Their attitude may make you angry, and your pride may make you want to stand up for yourself, but there is nothing to gain from talking back to them, and your parents to lose.

  • cultBgone

    Vivere, they only have the power you give them. Try to move out of your jdub persona and think like a free person (I know what it's like to feel the instant panic, believe me). They are just nosy busybodies without the nerve to leave the cult. Try to feel sorry for them rather than fear them, and politely inquire about them and brush off attempts to query you. Take the high road. You have the strength and the smarts to live life as you deserve. Sad they do not.

  • joe134cd

    Trust me the best way of dealing with the dubbies is "SAY NOTHING".

  • joe134cd

    I suggest you leave all the talking for when you get on the internet.

  • stuckinarut2

    Yes, they will only have the power you allow them to have...

    Simply be polite, but dont engage in too much conversation.

    If they insist on chatting, just be kind and ask about THEIR lives.... before you know it, they will be talking all about themselves and their families etc (because most people love talking about themselves)...then the focus of the visit has turned...

    I have been thinking more and more that they have as much of a right to knowledge of your life, as does the person living four streets away from you does...in otherwords...none!

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