Fading, Stopping Meetings, DA or DF'ing, Thoughts on Getting the Hell Out Of There

by OnTheWayOut 36 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Phizzy

  It is good to hear the progress that so many have made upon their journey out of and away from the W.T.

  I feel very much as you and Hubby do Aunt Fancy, I really do not care too much if they DF me now, though I do feel it is good that as merely Inactive/non-Attending as my status I am more able to plant seeds, as I am free to talk with JW's at present.

  I would wish perhaps to DA first, to preempt a silly J.C, but maybe I won't even bother with that, I don't recognise that they have any right to a DA letter.

  We shall continue to celebrate Christmas and Birthdays with our non-JW family, and as we live very close to a number of our JW family, this will no doubt become known, so we will be in the same position as yourselves.

  As each day passes I feel more and more remote from my JW past, those people from my past who are still J.W's can do what they like, but they won't find DAing or DFing me an easy process, I shall have immense fun with them and their minds before it is completed.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Flipper, I had similar "boiling over" doubts that finally got to me. I guess the big difference for me as to unjust treatment was that I felt that so much nepotism and favoritism was normal that I should try, as an elder, to show favoritism to everyone and help all members get out of JC troubles. Part of what I had hoped to see in this thread is what you said- many can just get up and walk away now or very shortly. All should consider their exit strategy and many could just go today.

  done4good, I almost instantly lost my best friend over the honesty issues. I was quite surprised. I couldn't have stayed for anyone else though. The real unconditional friends I have made are awesome now. If I tend toward flaming liberal friends, they won't abandon me if I suddenly decided to vote conservatively or if we differed in our thoughts and politics and beliefs.

  Aunt Fancy, wonderful story of just walking away. So glad your marriage stayed strong and your husband's family is still communicating. Many can see that they may be able to retain family if they just walk away.

  Phizzy, wonderful thoughts. I feel similar on the "as each day passes" thing.
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  LongHairGal

  OTWO:

  In my case, bad treatment and attitudes went hand-in-hand with my disgust over the 1995 changed teaching on "Generation".

  That changed teaching was just the straw that broke the camel's back.

  However, I wonder what percentage of people end up leaving over treatment rather than doctrinal issues?? Of course, I don't care and am glad I am out but I wonder what the real story is with most people who end up OUT of the religion.
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  whathappened

  My sister, my nephews and I all quit cold turkey. We just couldn't do the slow fade thing...as it seems so hypocritical. Yes, it did cause a stir and some people are hurt, but none of us has been called in for a JC so we are all happy. It has been well over three years for all of us. So far so good. We are shunned by most in our old Kingdom Halls but that is an acceptable trade off.
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  OnTheWayOut

  Long, I don't know that we can use the people here as an example because they are very inquisitive and want to know. There are tons of people out there who were burned by watchtower.

  What, excellent post. So glad you're able to just walk away. Many might consider that. Who needs those fake friends anyway?
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  Quendi

  As many know, I was disfellowshipped in 2005 for being a gay man. At that time, I still believed the WTS was "God's organization" and made every effort to be reinstated. But even as I was doing that, an elder who remained in touch with me told me my hopes were in vain, that he knew the men on my judicial committee and they would never reinstate me. It took me a couple of years to realize he was telling the truth. Nevertheless, I persisted in seeking reinstatement because there were people in the congregations I associated with who were important to me. My plan was to return and then do a rapid fade. I was trying to have it both ways.

  In the meantime, I had learned TTATT and realized I owed nothing to this organization. Finally, late in the fifth year of my exile, I met one final time with my judicial committee. My request for reinstatement was denied and I walked out of the kingdom hall never to set foot in it again. I have decided I will not attend any other gathering of Witnesses again for any reason whatsoever and feel all the better for it. In my case it was a combination of TTATT and the homophobia with its subsequent mistreatment that made me walk away. I have never regretted that decision. While I despise the WTS and all of its dark works, I still have compassion for many of my former associates. I doubt that they will leave because they have believed the lie that there is 'nowhere else to go.' That is most unfortunate because if they can find the courage to leave, they'll find the real life.

  Quendi
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  OnTheWayOut

  Wonderfully stated, Quendi. I have compassion for the members too. They are like sheep with an evil shepherd.