My logic and emotions are in a turmoil. Need specific help please

by stuckinarut2 22 Replies latest jw experiences

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Hi All!

    I am still in, and as my name says "stuckinarut"...Now I know it is not the truth, I know it for a fact...But Im so messed up with a wash of hundreds of thoughts that I cant seem to get my head in order.

    I thought I had my head clear and my 'sh1t together' so to speak....but ....

    Im sure you know what I mean? When there are so many reasons and facts proving TTATT, but if asked to make a list in bullet points now, I would get so overwhelmed....I just dont know where to start. I feel like I would be like a balloon let go flying around the room in all directions trying to 'spew' out the facts!

    I need to compile a list, including specific references to JW material just to clear my head I think...

    Im not even sure what I am asking here all...

    I guess if anyone can help by sharing some brief key thoughts, I would appreciate it...

    Thanks everyone....

  • konceptual99
    konceptual99

    - illogical blood doctrine

    - rigid adherence to flood story

    - willfully ignoring science on existance of human kind for tens of thousands of years

    - UN hypocrisy

    - illogical doctrine on destruction of billions at Armageddon

    - disingenuous quote mining in publications

    - generations changes

    - "new" light flip flops

    - poor handling of child abuse cases

    - shunning policy

    - adherence to visible, documented works as being a marker of spirituality

    I think jwfacts has the full list...

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    get into therapy you know the thing they didn't encourage. It helped me a lot

  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    The cult programing may kick in every now and again even years after quitting. You need to take note when it does and see it for what it is. The indoctrination can be unlearned with effort and some time.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Thankyou for your quick responses!

    Great suggestions and great list!

    Thank you!

  • leaving_quietly
    leaving_quietly

    I have a private account on Google Drive that's not associated to any of my email addresses. Only I know about it. I use a browser that deletes history on exist. I use that account for my notes regarding TTATT and some other personal things. One of the things I've done is created a list of doctrines with four other columns (in a spreadsheet):

    Doctrine | Believe | Don't Believe | Undecided | Notes

    I list the doctrine, then put an X in the Believe, Don't Believe or Undecided column, then I add very brief notes to it.

    I have another document that is simply a rambling of various things I've come across. This document is simply a list of "things", followed by notes about those things. Notes are usually WT articles, parallel Bible verses or Greek/Hebrew meainings. This is my main "proof" document. It's currently 26 pages long.

    I have other documents that are "word studies". These are a single words (or variants) and all the scriptures in the Bible that contains that word. Nothing more. This is a hugely-eye-opening thing. For example, a study on "baptism" (including baptize, baptizing, baptized, baptisms, etc.). Very eye-opening. From this simply Bible-only view, we can deduce that baptisms were not dependent on hour and hours and months and months of studying. There's a few other things that can be deduced this way.

    Organizing your thoughts in some fashion is beneficial because you can go back and review it from time to time, and even add to/edit it as necessary.

    This is what I've done and what works for me for now. I'm working on another document that will be more topical with a table of contents, more like a small book. I haven't touched it in awhile, but have been meaning to get back to it. It will address core doctrines with only WT references.

    It takes time, but getting these things down in writing for myrself helps me to organize my own thoughts and to reason even further on things.

    That's my method. Thought I'd share.

  • stuckinarut2
    stuckinarut2

    Great idea Leaving_Quietly!

    I will set up something like that...thanks for the suggestion indeed!

  • Wild_Thing
    Wild_Thing

    You could also start an online blog. They can be anonymous and they are a great way to organize your thoughts, evidence from websites, files, etc. And then they are in an easy place to go back and look at them.

    On a side note ... it helped me to also make a list of non-doctinal issues that are part of the Witnesses. More sociological issues (and some doctrinal issues overlap to sociological issues.) Shunning, education, lack of tolerance for outside research, intolerance of researching their own religion's past, hypocrisy, judgmentalism, degradation of women, condemning all others not part of their group ... those things bothered me more than any doctrine.

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    As far as "What do I now know about this crazy cult I got sucked into?" questions, most of them are quite concisely answered at jwfacts.com.

    The crazy thoughts/incessant mental chatter thing. . . . .amongst other things. . . . . I saw a therapist who specialized in PTSD and related disorders and it was truly the best thing I ever did.

  • SyntaxError1974
    SyntaxError1974

    I started an excel sheet on a private account. I made a list of things I want to prove to myself:

    1. 1975 - big deal or not? Coverup? Is watchtower no better than Harold Camping?

    2. I started downloading scanned older books and watchtower / awake/ kingdom ministries.

    This was interesting to me. One KM seems innocuous. But quickly flip thru a years worth, like in the 1960's.... The astronomical mention of money made my head spin.

    Spent about an hour quick flipping thru a 1940's watchtower bound volume. Guess what I found every May 1st magazine? Something very similar to our "new donation arrangement"!

    May 1 1947 page 140

    May 1 1948 page 140

    "So it is suggested that, upon receiving this issue of The Watchtower, you address a postcard or letter to the Society and keep a copy as a reminder to yourself concern- ing the amount you hope to contribute. All you need to write is, in substance: By the Lord's grace I hope to be able to contribute to the work of announcing the kingdom of Jehovah during the ensumg year the amount of $ , which I will remit in such amounts and at such time as I can find it convenient. as I am prospered. [Signed] . Address your card or letter to Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society Treasurer's Office 124 Columbia Heights Brooklyn 2, New York"

    Saved these little notes for myself.

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