My arranged marriage (attempted)

rebel8

I don't know if I've ever shared this weird story.

As you probably know, I was a "bit" of an independent thinker and jw nonconformist, after having been forced into the borganization as a kid. I was a teen & plotting my escape. I also didn't want to do the "compulsory" female things my mother demanded of me, such as having kids, being a wife, barefoot/kitchen sorta life.

A bro from another area came to the Sunday mtg. Turns out he was visiting a non-jw relative near where I lived. They made me go in d2d with him for maybe half an hour. I was nice to him but to me he was an older adult in my mind.

The next thing I know, I got a letter from him. It was really creepy. He had prayed to jehoopla for someone with my specific physical attributes, and then he met me. It was meant to be & we were to become engaged or at least strongly hinting at it. I was to move to Canada and be a stay-at-home mother.

As a socially immature jw teen, my skin crawled. My mother pressured me quite a bit to marry him. So did the ladies in the kingkongregation. Big pressure. They discussed it with the "older men" who counseled me about it. Thankfully I had a mind of my own.

Srsly this was their way to shut me up and keep me dependent.

HeyThere

WOw. I had no idea the pressure was like that. So glad you had an "independant mind." That is creepy.

talesin

Well, this sounds so familiar ... once again! :))

I was 17, he was 50. It was a match made .. well, I dunno where, because he was from NYC, which is about 6 states and 2 provinces away. My parents introduced him to me at a party.

He asked me to dance. He was all sweaty. My skin was crawling.

When we got home, my mother said how NICE Brother X was, and he's an elder!

But, mom, he's an OLD MAN.

Yeah, I had a mind of my own, too. Oh, and there were 2 other matches they tried to make in the previous year, but with younger 'brothers'. Less than a year later, I was gone.

tal

out4good3

Seems to me that the JW's are about as bad as muslims and mormons in setting their daughters up with old geezers.

HeyThere

WingCommander

This sh*t's crazy, I had NO idea! No wonder I couldn't get a date with you young JW hotties, your parents had reserved you for the old geezer/phedo types!

One of the things that I couldn't stand about the JW's was that I couldn't get a JW girl to even look at me, much less talk to me. Never good enough. Funny, at school I was popular enough, and when I was barely 17 working at a grocery store a girl 3 years older than me asked me out. I had had enough, and told my parents I am going to start to date who I want. JW's girls couldn't be bothered with me, so I said "yes" to my first older girlfriend at the grocery store. Looking back, I was so socially stunted and maladjusted, that I can't believe she stayed with me almost a year, and this without having sex. (just alot of heavy making out) Looking back, I feel sorry for HER.....that she loved me like she did, but that I was so f*cked up from being a JW that I didn't know how to properly care for her. Luckily, we re-connected years later and became friends on Facebook. She's married with 3-4 kids, etc. She holds no animosity towards me, and probably feels sorry for me. I did apologize to her for my probably awkward behaviour.

I will say, that because of how I was raised every woman I've ever been with always said I was the most polite, well-mannered guy they had ever been with, my wife included. (and she'd been married 3x before!)

I feel bad for women in JW Org that have gone thru this type of incredible situation. Please be aware that a lot of JW guys have been thru crap too. Maybe we JW guys get older, and have not ever been with anyone before, they tend to gravitate towards younger women to regain some of their youth? They are socially retarded and don't fully realise how "weird" and "creepy" it is for a 40+ year old man to be trying to marry a teenage young woman. That is my take on those situations sometimes, for what it is worth. Everyone is a victim of this cult in some way, shape, or form.

- Wing Commander

Adiva

No way! I thought I was the only one.

My mother kept telling me 'you need a man to take care of you' and 'he's got a house', not to mention the old 'he's spiritually strong'. I'm 20 and this man is over 50!! Ewwwwww.

Adiva

Clambake

We have a couple in our congregation that literally looks like Penny from the Big Bang theory married to comic book from the Simpsons. Expect she is Filipino so she is so lucky to be married to him. Barf. Plus he has ten years on her and is an Elder.

My wife who is Filipino who went to visit the UK in her mid 20s was constantly trying to avoid set-ups with 50 plus year old men. To her it was like “You have to be f-ing joking”.

Man it is really scary to believe the leadership in some KH are nothing but a bunch of perverts.

I had a Grandpa that was 20 years older than my Grandma ( non-JW). She stuck it out till the end but man, what a terrible why to live. It wasn't husband and wife, it was nurse and patient the last 15 years of my Grandpas life.

What an absolutely terrible thing to do to a young lady.

talesin

It never ends ... after almost 20 years of being DFd (I still talked to my parents at that point), I was 39 and single. Had begun seeing a wonderful man, finally in love after all those years, and was making plans.

I went to visit my 'parents'. Well, guess what? They had another elder lined up for me!

"Oh, dear, if you just come back to the meetings, we have a friend."

"But, mom, I'm in love!"

"No, he is an elder, he's about 40, and OWNS HIS OWN COMPUTER BUSINESS!"

She showed me a *picture* of him~!

Just at the mention of the word 'elder', I had shuddered inside. "No, mom, it's NEVER going to happen. NEVER NEVER NEVER"

ack! :P

tal

Vidiot

rebel8 - "So did the ladies in the kingkongregation."

"Kingkongregation"... too funny

('specially considering I just watched that movie on the weekend with my daughter).

rebel8 - "Surely this was their way to shut me up and keep me dependent."

Clearly, they didn't know you as well as they thought.

My arranged marriage (attempted)

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