by make yourself 38 Replies latest jw experiences
Everybody has different reasons, different paths. Some need closure of some kind that a DA letter provides.
Just keep in mind that it is very true that they won't get your important message of your DA letter, they just want to skip to the "I am no longer one of ....."
I faded and have no intention of DA'ing. It's easier for family that way. They know I am not a JW anymore, but they allow themselves to overlook that as long as I don't DA.
done4good - this is exactly what ai was trying to get across. If you want to be completely truthful " if you have to hide who you really are around JWs, (and this is NOT judging those who are fading, I know there are many good and important reasons to do so), what could be "playing their game" any more than that?".
OnTheWayOut - I also understand what you are saying and it is very true.
The problem is that there are some people here who constantly try to make it seem as if someone writing a letter is somehow playing the WTBTS game when nothing could be further from the truth.
There is no absolute truth regarding DA'ing. It is what is true for you. I have only stated what is true for me. I feel I would be playing their game, my personal feeling...others may not and that is their feeling. Just be careful that the result is not what you intended.
Good now you can move on and completely away from this cult! The younger the easier it will be for you to move on.
Just to let you know,I faded for the same reasons you wrote your letter with one difference, I just do not care what they mark on my files at the kh!
The elders can check the box on a card dfd,da, or A ,and send a copy to Bethel. The point is I do not care what they want to mark on this card.
Unlike me, you have learned at a early age that it is a lie and cult! That makes old timers like me feel like posting all these years was worth something!
Just realise that in the end it is all the same as long as your out. Freedom!
I am at present in the same position as OTWO, and don't see any reason to change.
I do think it may be forced upon us though, with the new directive from the G.B that two Elders call upon those who once attended the K.H, and I believe this is to happen every C.O's visit, and the Elders will report to him that it has been done. (I am looking forward to my visit when it happens LOL).
At some point this harassment will result in us revealing too much of our real position, or simply telling the Elder twits to piss off, either of which could result in a forced DA.
If you feel you can D.A now, or soon, I think that is the best course, but not for all of us of course, we must make up our own mind what is best for us.
I do think the snidey G.B are trying to either get us back, or force the issue of our D.A by this campaign.
At least we can have some fun with it when they call, whatever the eventual outcome.
Blondie-Just be careful that the result is not what you intended.
That is a very good point. I think it deserves a thread of its own.
In short, I would say that it is impossible to know exactly what might happen when a person DA. When I DA'd 7 years ago, I decided it was more important to allow myself to just be me. I am still learning this to a ceratin degree, I think. Most JWs opinions simply did not matter to me all that much at the time. Very recently, I figured out there were some that still mattered to me a whole lot, and to make a long story short, one such friend found my letter a few months ago. It is on this site and even signed with my real name, so if someone wanted to find it they could. I very possibly lost that friend. Nothing really could have prepared me for the pain that followed, but in the end, if I were to continue the dialogue with that friend, the relationship would have likely been damaged anyway, (DA or not), simply because it is not in my nature to fake it, so the truth woud have come out.
In the end, I believe the real issue is does a person need to keep their friends/family more, or do they need to keep themselves more.
d4g
Phizzy: I do think it may be forced upon us though, with the new directive from the G.B that two Elders call upon those who once attended the K.H, and I believe this is to happen every C.O's visit, and the Elders will report to him that it has been done. (I am looking forward to my visit when it happens LOL).
There has been a "directive" in place to call on inactive and DF/DA'ed ones for some time now. When I was an elder, I saw that they did a few things to kill these calls. They often simply stated that the person was not/will not be receptive to calls, so they can just skip it altogether again this year. The other was that they stated that they are only to call on ones "in their territory" that they are aware of. They can skip those that live slightly out of some border and they can skip those inside that border that went to a different congregation because they don't actually know the exact address- although it would take one phone call or email to another cong. secretary to find out. Lastly, their favorite is to make one half-assed attempt to call on these ones- one text message or phone call or one knock on that door. All you have to do is not answer and they usually go away until next year.
I think that 3 half-assed attempts were made on me years ago, and I did say my two-word answer, "No thanks" to two of them. Now they simply say I am not receptive to such calls and don't bother to ask.
That was how it used to be OTWO, but the new system is to be every C.O's visit, and the Elders have been told it is a directive from the GB to them.
I think we will be chased up every six months, though if you are lucky enough to fit the old categories that you mention, they will still not "manage"to contact you.
Let's see how it goes, Elders are usually lazy about such matters, and programmes that they are supposed to implement are soon forgotten, unless the C.O chases it up.
Of course it depends how "Gestapo" the C.O is in attitude too, he may well accept any lame excuse, and after a visit or two the emphasis will be on some new project.
I did not write a letter. In the process of leaving I moved a few times; so I am not sure what my status is, nor do I care. I may still be an elder in one of the congregations. The last congregation I attended really has no idea who I am.
I have no desire to wrap things up with my Watchtower life. Not that I am thinking of going back but becuase closing the books only serves the purposes of the Watchtower, not me. I have moved on and really care about leaving a farewell message.
If anyone is intersted they can review the body of the comments I have made here over the past 13 years.
And by the way, it is my birthday - so Happy birthday to me!!
