by losingit 26 Replies latest jw experiences
In my case, I kept it together during the divorce, selling my house, moving out of state and changing jobs, then I just fell apart and had a mini meltdown. But it lasted a day, not weeks .This sounds like major depression. I think a visit to the doctor is in order, really, this is not something you can fix on your own.
Sorry (((hug)))
Yeahhhh it looks like a major depression... the grad school situation, where I was threatened with not graduating and not getting my license, put me over the edge. Yeah, before, I was down but I kept going to my internship, I was still on top of stuff around the house. Yeah, I was down about my girls' father disappearing and the lack of funds really made me sick. But I kept trekking along. Of course not having my crew of friends made me sad but I.still met up with the Japanese neighbor downstairs for tea. But that grad school situation... it felt like I got jumped and got beat by a gang of thugs. The power lorded over me was just too much.....
I think it would be too much for anyone. Nothing like getting kicked when you are down. Don't let the a$$ holes win, get thy self to the doctor and get better. You survived being a JW, you can do this.
How do I even get out of bed? What are some things that I can do besides meds to make me feel better? How do I start? I've never been like this in my entire life! :-( :-(
losingit the first thing you need to do is go to a doctor and determine if meds are needed. If so, then take them. Do not let crazy old JW reasoning about those sorts of things cause you to make bad decisions. After that learn to just live life. Nothing makes one happier than to not have restraints placed upon them. My favorite thing was to go out on my front porch on what was previously a meeting night and smoke a cigar.
The simple things.
You have major depression, you really need to see a doctor. If you cannot manage that, here are a few tricks to get you to where you can:
Quickie fix, coffee. I am not kidding, scientifically proven, caffeine can get you going.
Sunshine, very powerful anti depressant
Take a walk, I know you don't feel like it, but force yourself.
B Vitamins, fish oil both help me. Vitamin A if you are not getting enough Sun.
Clean out your refrigerator, I don't know why, but this always works for me.
http://icanhas.cheezburger.com/
If all else fails, the LOL cats!
just wonder-- did you feel this tired after leaving jws? How long did it take before you felt refreshed and new? ...
I want to feel stable, secure, and safe. When will that feeling come?
Hi losingit,
Sounds like you are dealing with an enormous amount of stuff that is overwhelming you. When I'm overwhelmed and depressed, staying in bed is the most comfortable and secure place in the world for me.
For the longest time after I withdrew from the JWs I thought life should/would/could work out in a linear here to ---> there fashion.
Instead it has gone in non-linear cycles, spiraling ups and downs, and all around like a big loopy doodle. All with the range of every possible emotional state, empty and full feeling you can imagine. There's good moments and not-so-good ones. Me thinks the promised land full of milk and honey is an illusion.
I've come to accept that life for me is like a big rodeo ride, where it bucks and kicks and sometimes throws you off. Every day we wake up and have to meet life not only where it is, but where we are, and that's always in a dynamic, growing, changing state.
We've been programmed at the KH with happily-ever-after-stories that don't translate into the real world. We do have some control over how thin we spread ourselves and the ability to pull back and accept help and heal when needed. Listen to your body right now...what does it need?
I love swimming and sun too. See if you can find moments to enjoy. That's really all life is made up of. Moments in the now.
Phae
You may not have had time to keep seeing a therapist some time ago but you can see that now it would only take time away from being depressed. And I love to hate JW stuff but you have many other issues to be depressed about. I faded out of the active JW life but kept my JW wife and have X a JW mother along with JW in-laws. After fading out, I started drinking again (and I am I definitely an alcoholic who was already 20 years out of treatment). I went back to A.A. and still was depressed. At least I stopped drinking. Finally I started therapy. I was sure my issues were all JW-related. They were somewhat related but I really had deeper-seated roots that therapy brought out.
I would say it took me 4 years to finally feel happy, but I it steadily improved after the first. I was at therapy every week for a year, then tapered off to every 2 weeks, and then once a month. Now I go every other month for the last 2 years. It's been 6 years though. I think my JW problem is minimal now but still there a bit due to JW family.
Everybody needs different "recovery" time and some will always need recovery maintenance. I wish you the best.
LisaRose - http://www.lolcats.com has just changed my world
OTWO-- you made a commitment to therapy and that helped you. I appreciate hearing your story. I need to make a similar commitment for my own health. Ive got one scheduled already for next week. I am aware it'll be some time before I feel on top of my game. Reading your timeline helps me to see the long haul.
You mentioned alcohol... I was drinking heavily for a while to handle stress and to feel relaxed. Thank God my tolerance absolutely sucks. I kept getting sick from it and had to stop. It's been 4-5 months now since my last bottle of wine. I'm a big cheapskate too, and I hated seeing the little $$$ I had go to garbage. Plus. I didn't like feeling useless the next day. Getting drunk and the hangover afterwards is too impractical.
The last two nights I've been watching stand up comedy on Netflix and YouTube. Bill Maher, Louis CK, Mr. Fluffy Gabriel Iglesias. I loveGeorge Carlin but he's more about truth telling than silliness, which is what I want right now. The LOLcats was funny. Maybe Frozen again? Haha
Any other stand up comedians out there that ppl enjoy?
