My Special Assembly Day was yesterday. Here are the lowlites.

by BU2B 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    The assembly overall was basically all about doing more, not wasting your youth (a waste being anything but pioneering) and bashing apostates. Well without further ado..

    Talk- The Voice of Jehovah Is Powerful

    -How can we hear Jehovahs voice? He communicates through the Bible

    -The world is all about the deceptive power of riches, this can choke Jehovahs voice. Can you imaging choking Jehovahs voice?! (guilt)

    -We need to continue transforming ourselves. 100% of Jehovahs promises have come true.

    Talk- Experience the power of Gods Word!

    Gods word nourishes us, like tasting a banana! (he holds it up) we have to experience it for ourselves!

    -Christendom does not get the point of Gods word. Reading the Bible is not enough, we must study WT pubs to understand it.

    5 steps

    1. Read, meditate on it

    2. Resarch- so important, this way we get accurate understanding of the scriptures

    3. Beg-beg for holy spirit

    4. Believe- we need to fully trust

    5. Obey- obedience is better than a sacrifice, apply what we read.

    Gives experience of brother who was a drug dealer and hustler, he turned his life around and is now in the audience, a pioneer and elder.

    DEMO- A brother thanks an elder for an article that was given to him so that he and his wife could stop arguing, brother says HOW DID YOU DO IT?! Elder says, I did it by using the WT publications index under the heading marriage problems. I found an article there for you to read. Finding it is easy, applying it is hard. We need self control. using the WT index can help us with any topic like higher education or what kind of Job to get.

    Talk- REJECT THE DECEPTIVE POWER OF SATANS WORLD- Luccione guest Bethel speaker

    Tells story of the Trojan horse, what looks good can be bad.

    -Satan through deception tries to open our "gates" we are all his targets. Satan is a liar and deciever, will we be decieved like Eve?

    4 of SATAN'S DECEPTIONS

    1. Power of Riches- Chokes the word. We always think it is someone else but riches can be traslated simply more money. It has caused some to leave for a better country, caused some to miss meetings, Field service, Family Worship. Some have looked back with regret that they did not DO MORE in service because of trying to earn money. Be content with food and clothing. Do not strive for a comfortable lifestyle or more money

    2. Sin- We can rationalize our weaknesses saying that we are all sinful and Jesus sacrifice covers me. We could draw away from the organization. Unbelievers promote lifestyles contrary to the bible. Many say they are tired of being told what to do. (tells the story of a man who was raised JW that he visited. He was married 4 times, living in sin, into drugs and alcohol, and was in and out of rehab. yet he insisted he was happy! audience chuckles. If he had just kept going to the KH none of this would have happened. it is like dogs returning to their vomit)

    3. Self Deception- James 1:22 Doers and not hearers only. Are we honest with ourselves? Negative attitude used by satan. Do I distort the truth? Desire immoral things? Do we rationalize bad habits?

    4. Apostasy- Can we be tricked by former JW? They claim to worship Jehovah but speak "half truths", twisted things, and criticize and complain. They use smooth talk and flattering speech. We may not read their books, but are we tempted to click on their websites? Comment on their blogs to "set them straight"? Remember Eve was decieved by only 3 sentences.. So can it be with us. DO NOT respond to "strange teachings"

    Apostates jump on changes in our understanding and teachings from the FDS. They jump all over our revised NWT. The brothers are imperfect humans, does this mean this isnt the truth? Peter said where else could we go? What other organization could we go to? THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE! (the speaker is getting very loud and animated now) NO OTHER ORGANIZATIONS SHOW HOW TO LEAD A BETTER LIFE AND MAKE A SUCCESS OUT OF YOURSELF ONLY JEHOVAHS WITNESSES!!

    Are there changes in understandings? YES

    Is there a new bible? YES

    Are the brothers imperfect? YES

    Does that mean we do not have the truth? NO NO NO

    Talk about young ones (I dnt have the theme)- Young people- do you trust the power of God? Do more, have spiritul goals. One young brother quit his job because of questionable association. By pioneering you store up treasures in heaven with Jehovah if we serve Jehovah we will be blessed

    Talk- When we are weak then we are powerful- Stay fully involved in the organization. More experiences featured about doing more, foreign language field, need greaters, pioneering, keeping up with personal study, prayer, meetings etc.

    Talk- Let the power of Gods word keep transforming you.- Are we letting Gods word transform us fully? How does gods word transform? When we detect a weakness, what do we do? What do we think about and feed our eyes on. Bible like little packets of holy spirit.

    A girl was told she would burn in hell by her mother, she ran away, ended up in foster care, joined a convent, ran away again, lived in the streets of Sydney, acted in Porn films, became a prostitute and she was about to be sold to Japan so she jumped out of the window. Later she studied the bible with JW and turned her life around. God transformed her life- END

    Well thats all folks, what do you think?

    Thats al

  • Heartofaboy
  • Designer Stubble
    Designer Stubble

    Same old, same old...

    You never do enough, Apostates are sawing the legs of their chairs and experiences shared that cannot be confirmed and are highly likely fabricated.

    Same shit, different day

  • Designer Stubble
    Designer Stubble

    So no teachings on cultivating the fruit of the Spirit, following in Jesus footsteps, loving your neighbor, caring for the sisck, elderly and fatherless boy, nothing about developing Christlike compassion, acting as a true Christian.

    The spiritual health is measured by works, FS-report, underlined WT and more... What a CULT!

  • quellycatface
    quellycatface

    I bloody HATE bananas.

  • mauiboy
    mauiboy

    I hate that my wife (more like room mate now-days), daughter and 2 grandkids hears this crap: makes me PROUD TO BE AN APOSTATE!!

  • Oubliette
    Oubliette

    We need to continue transforming ourselves. 100% of Jehovahs promises have come true.

    And 100% of the WTBTS's have not!

    Gods word nourishes us, like tasting a banana! (he holds it up) we have to experience it for ourselves!

    Did he really hold up a banana? That is so stupid!

    How about the contradiction between "we have to experiences it for ourselves" and you need WT literature to understand it. Such nonsense!

    Obey- obedience is better than a sacrifice, apply what we read.

    Of course. It was only a matter of time until it got to this: OBEY!

    Many say they are tired of being told what to do.

    Yeah!

    If he had just kept going to the KH none of this would have happened. it is like dogs returning to their vomit

    Notice that they never tell any stories about people that leave the organization and go on to have healthy, happy, productive lives. I would guess the ratio of people that leave and are successful and happy is 100:1 or greater in comparison to those that leave and self-destruct. Probably a lot like the normal statistical average.

  • baltar447
    baltar447

    Warning: if a perverted sense of humor offends you, you better just skip my post....

    Stop: Jehovah time! ohh ohh ohh ohh ohh oh oh oh...

    Talk- The Voice of Jehovah Is Powerful

    -How can we hear Jehovahs voice? He communicates through the Bible (It's a RADIO for speaking to GOD! - sayeth Beloq)

    -The world is all about the deceptive power of riches, this can choke Jehovahs voice. Can you imaging choking Jehovahs voice?! (If we can choke his voice does that mean we can also choke his chicken?)

    -We need to continue transforming ourselves. 100% of Jehovahs promises have come true. (97% of surveys agree that 10% of 1000% of this is all bullsh*t!)

    Talk- Experience the power of Gods Word!

    Gods word nourishes us, like tasting a banana! (he holds it up) we have to experience it for ourselves! (Oh, Jehovah's banana is ready for our waiting mouths!!!)

    -Christendom does not get the point of Gods word. Reading the Bible is not enough, we must study WT pubs to understand it. (duh, who can make sense of the cluster f*ck that is the bibbel anyway??)

    5 steps

    1. Read, meditate on it(when in the can)

    2. Resarch- so important, this way we get accurate understanding of the scriptures (But ONLY material available on wol.jw.org!!!)

    3. Beg-beg for holy spirit (get down on your knees and beg! Oh, and put this gag on too)

    4. Believe- we need to fully trust (Listen to Cher's "Believe" on repeat while masturbating, I mean meditating)

    5. Obey- obedience is better than a sacrifice, apply what we read. (Be an obedient little slave!!)

    Gives experience of brother who was a drug dealer and hustler, he turned his life around and is now in the audience, a pioneer and elder. (In other words, this sociopath is now in control of the lives of about 90 people. Heartwarming)

    DEMO- A brother thanks an elder for an article that was given to him so that he and his wife could stop arguing, brother says HOW DID YOU DO IT?! Elder says, I did it by using the WT publications index under the heading marriage problems. I found an article there for you to read. Finding it is easy, applying it is hard. We need self control. using the WT index can help us with any topic like higher education or what kind of Job to get. (Here's what really happened. Steve told Selma that she better give him a sammich or he would get his belt out... :(

    Talk- REJECT THE DECEPTIVE POWER OF SATANS WORLD- Luccione guest Bethel speaker

    Tells story of the Trojan horse, what looks good can be bad. (Moral: don't wear condoms when molesting)

    -Satan through deception tries to open our "gates" we are all his targets. Satan is a liar and deciever, will we be decieved like Eve? (At least Satan uses lube)

    4 of SATAN'S DECEPTIONS

    1. Power of Riches- Chokes the word. We always think it is someone else but riches can be traslated simply more money. It has caused some to leave for a better country, caused some to miss meetings, Field service, Family Worship. Some have looked back with regret that they did not DO MORE in service because of trying to earn money. Be content with food and clothing. Do not strive for a comfortable lifestyle or more money (OH MRGRD! How dare you little sh*ts think you can leave your country and better yourselves! Jarhoover wants you to stay in your own filty third world country!!)

    2. Sin- We can rationalize our weaknesses saying that we are all sinful and Jesus sacrifice covers me. We could draw away from the organization. Unbelievers promote lifestyles contrary to the bible. Many say they are tired of being told what to do. (tells the story of a man who was raised JW that he visited. He was married 4 times, living in sin, into drugs and alcohol, and was in and out of rehab. yet he insisted he was happy! audience chuckles. If he had just kept going to the KH none of this would have happened. it is like dogs returning to their vomit) (rehab? That's for quitters. You alchoholics don't need to leave the organization!)

    3. Self Deception- James 1:22 Doers and not hearers only. Are we honest with ourselves? Negative attitude used by satan. Do I distort the truth? Desire immoral things? Do we rationalize bad habits? (Like the WT is intellectually honest? BURN. Does that sting? It should you just got SERVED)

    4. Apostasy- Can we be tricked by former JW? They claim to worship Jehovah but speak "half truths", twisted things, and criticize and complain. They use smooth talk and flattering speech. We may not read their books, but are we tempted to click on their websites? Comment on their blogs to "set them straight"? Remember Eve was decieved by only 3 sentences.. So can it be with us. DO NOT respond to "strange teachings" (Eve was smart, she knew she was getting a rotten deal. The serpent was the only one that told the truth that day. Half truths? WT, you are firing a cannon in a taped together glass house here)

    Apostates jump on changes in our understanding and teachings from the FDS. They jump all over our revised NWT. The brothers are imperfect humans, does this mean this isnt the truth? Peter said where else could we go? What other organization could we go to? THERE IS NOWHERE ELSE! (the speaker is getting very loud and animated now) NO OTHER ORGANIZATIONS SHOW HOW TO LEAD A BETTER LIFE AND MAKE A SUCCESS OUT OF YOURSELF ONLY JEHOVAHS WITNESSES!! (Of course there are. There's boys town, the Y, Ronald McDonald house, you name it. Hell, even some churches have like PRACTICAL skills and groups where people learn sh*t that enriches their lives. I'm gonna say that attending Kindergarden again might enrich my life more than a year of meetings)

    Are there changes in understandings? YES (We made more sh*t up)

    Is there a new bible? YES(We changed sh*t)

    Are the brothers imperfect? YES(We sh*t)

    Does that mean we do not have the truth? NO NO NO (It's all a pile of sh*t)

    Talk about young ones (I dnt have the theme)- Young people- do you trust the power of God? Do more, have spiritul goals. One young brother quit his job because of questionable association. By pioneering you store up treasures in heaven with Jehovah if we serve Jehovah we will be blessed(Now he lives off his parents and fake pioneers while smoking weed. He's not a dummy)

    Talk- When we are weak then we are powerful- Stay fully involved in the organization. More experiences featured about doing more, foreign language field, need greaters, pioneering, keeping up with personal study, prayer, meetings etc. (what is this 1984? weak=power war=peace hate=love oh wait...)

    Talk- Let the power of Gods word keep transforming you.- Are we letting Gods word transform us fully? How does gods word transform? When we detect a weakness, what do we do? What do we think about and feed our eyes on. Bible like little packets of holy spirit.(ROFL!! Little packets of holy spirit??? Where do they come up with this sh*t?? :D )

    A girl was told she would burn in hell by her mother, she ran away, ended up in foster care, joined a convent, ran away again, lived in the streets of Sydney, acted in Porn films, became a prostitute and she was about to be sold to Japan so she jumped out of the window. Later she studied the bible with JW and turned her life around. God transformed her life- END (WTAF? Was she Andre's sister??!?!!)

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    Yes he really held it up and said "how would you describe a bannana to someone who is not familiar with it? Would you say its yellow, sweet, and mushy on the inside? That woulnt be enough. You would actually have to experience the bananna!" Not Joking!

  • SafeAtHome
    SafeAtHome

    mauiboy I'm proud to be an apostate too! Maybe DATA-DOGcan compose a song to the tune of Lee Greenwood's Proud to Be An American? How bout it DOG? Be content with food and clothing and dont strive for a comfortable lifestyle? You mean like the GB enjoy?

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