Is it possible to love 2 people at same time?

by butalbee 39 Replies latest social relationships

  • butalbee

    Thanks to everyone who gave their insight on this tangled web that Jane weaved...You have no idea how grateful Jane is to have this advice. Thank have no idea how close this is to my heart.

  • Carmel


    God didn't make me with double equipment so one of the ladies would get the "short shaft".

    Dam, did I really say that?????


  • Skeptic

    Yes, it is definitely possible to truly love two people with all your heart at once.

    We do it with our children all the time.

    The same principle applies to "true" love as well. Because it is frowned upon in our society, and because we are not geared as a society to handle it, there are problems.

    Just because it causes problems does not mean it is not real. I have seen it happen at least a few times, and it was real.

    Can loving two people at once enrich a person's life? Yes it can. But it also adds complications. For one, most people want to be loved exclusively by another. Also, your time is severely cramped upon when a mate loves another. You need constant reassurance that you are not second place and are truly loved.

    In a north american culture, it takes a very, very special person to allow their mate to love another at the same time. It takes an enormous amount of love to allow your spouse that pleasure and priviledge.

    In other cultures, it is no big Muslim countries...a man can have up to four wives. Often, they live in separate homes, and take turns having their husband visit. The wives often bond as closely as sisters, and they enjoy the benefit of "when you get tired of him being around, you call another wife to take him off your hands".


  • butalbee


    Glad to see you're posting again...We've all missed ya here(esp. me), and we're happy to see ya back!!!!!

  • Hmmm

    Jane has her answer right in front of her:

    But Jane doesn't want to move on, she wants to go back in time and erase all the wrong she did and never in a hog's ass in hell get involved w/ a JW guy

    Of course, if she can't work out the time machinge thingie, she'd be best served learning from the experience and moving on.

    Sorry, but that's the way it is.


  • larc

    Well folks,

    Here is my opinion. For those who say no, it means you haven't experienced it. However, some have said yes, which does mean that it is possible and that it does happen.

    Now, I think the problem is that we want to seek love, but yet, we tend to be territorial, so when another object of love enters our territory, we become very threatened. So, we have this paradox of wanting love from more than one person, but feeling threatened when that same force enters our partner's life.

  • butalbee

    Jane has been feeling that she needs to tell John everything, esp how she feels, how she doesn''t want it to be over, and doesn't want to move on, that there has never been another person in her life before like him and she doesn't want to loose him. That she wants to try to start all over again. But Jane is afraid to speak these thoughts, fearing his response will not be what she was hoping for...

  • cellomould

    A lot of nice comments have been made to the effect that you can love more than one person. We all know this already, but we try to pretend it doesn't apply to 'romantic love'.

    I think that it most definitely does.

    We want 'romantic love' to make us feel special and well attended. Well, attention does not = love.

    When you love someone, it’s not about giving that person attention. They know they are loved, without having to ask. They feel accepted, cared for, admired, appreciated, etc…

    Attention is almost purely a sexual currency.

    See the difference?

    The dilemma everyone has brought up boils down to: ‘how do I give more than one person enough attention in exchange for sex?’

    But I reiterate:

    attention does not = love


    "Without judgement, perception would increase a million times" Death, Without Judgement

  • BoozeRunner
    Is it possible to love 2 people at same time?

    I believe it is possible to love 2(possibly more than 2?) at the same time. My question would instead be, "Can we truly give our all to either, or both at the same time?"

    Depending on the individuals involved, we can probably fulfill their respective needs, thus giving each all they need, but giving our all to neither.

    Just my humble opinion.


  • Skeptic
    Glad to see you're posting again...We've all missed ya here(esp. me), and we're happy to see ya back!!!!!

    Ah, butalbee, you melted my heart. To be honest, I especially missed you too. I am glad to be back. Send me an email and let me know what is going on in your life.


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