Help! I have fallen in love with a Witness

by itsalingthing 33 Replies latest social relationships

  • butalbee

    Look--this isn't my fault. Yeah, I fell for a dumb dub, came to this site for help and advice, but it is not my fault that these witnesses keep messing with the hearts and minds of us worldly people. Blame it on the watchtower, don't blame it on me. It's dumb dub's fault for taking his little peter out of his pants and into the depths of sin........
    Oh yeah--I'll start an advice column tomorrow for all the ladies that get their heart broken by these dimwits......Hey, I'll even change my homepage to it. Haha.

    This looped, re-used scenario happens every day, I wish it never happened to me, but then I would've never had found this board and all you beautiful people........

  • COMF

    Ah, me...

    The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ,
    Moves on: nor all your piety nor wit
    Shall lure it back to cancel half a line,
    Nor all your tears wash out a word of it.

  • zanex

    be can only come to no good...unless HE leaves first.


  • butalbee

    itsalingthing--You gonna join in and commment on our comments, or what?

  • Delite2k

    First of all, i'm also in love (deeply) with a witness as well, so i'm in a similar, situation except, he hasn't told me that he can't be with me or that he feels guilty, etc. And we do a lot of things together...A Lot But I can say this, never change your lifestyle for a man. Would he do it for you? (Would any man?) Would he leave the JW to be with you? Honestly, ask yourself that question. My friend, he knows i'm Baptist and I love him so much but i'm not going nowhere. See,I didn't really know bout the JW's until found this board and by doing some research on my own to try to understand his beliefs and the JW, period. If you want to be come a witness, do it because YOU want to, not to be with him, cause to my understanding there's a lot of rules and things, your business becomes their business, your life, your beliefs will change. If my "friend" ever ask me to convert, I don't know what i'll say, or do....But think for a moment, is this what you want for yourself? Would you really be happy if you became a JW to be with him?

    BTW...Your didn't mention the he was willing to do what he can to be with he?

  • Introspection

    The answer to this and a lot of other questions on this board is actually fairly simple, or can be summed up atleast in a simple way. You just have to ask the question: "Am I willing to face the truth?" All other things are details. We tell ourselves we're willing to this and that to get this or that or him or her, but none of that matters if it's based on a false belief in the first place, and I'm not even speaking of the religion at this point. Another way of putting it is just be honest with yourself, and don't develop this tunnel vision and only look at what you want, because when that happens there's usually a tendancy to only see what you want to see, even about that object of desire, not to mention everything else that goes with it.

    "Who can face the knowledge that the truth is not the truth?" -Rush, Distant Early Warning

  • Sirona

    Be AWARE of THIS:

    Become a Jehovah's Witness and you can't...
    Celebrate Mother's Day
    Celebrate Father's Day
    Celebrate Grandparent's Day
    Celebrate Birthdays
    Celebrate Thanksgiving
    Celebrate New Year's Day
    Celebrate Christmas
    Celebrate Halloween
    Celebrate Easter
    Celebrate Flag Day
    Celebrate Independence Day (Fourth of July)
    Celebrate Hanukkah
    Celebrate St. Patrick's Day
    Celebrate Valentine's Day
    Celebrate "Any" Holiday
    Sing any Holiday Songs
    Eat turkey on Thanksgiving
    Join the Boy Scouts
    Join the Girl Scouts
    Become a Cheerleader
    Attend class reunions (No "Worldly" association)
    Go to the school prom
    Play School Sports (No competition allowed)
    Play Professional Sports
    Join any organization that has ties to Christianity
    Shop at the Salvation Army
    Volunteer for the Salvation Army
    Shop at Church run thrift stores
    Shop at Church Garage Sales
    Shop at any Store that has Christian ties
    Contribute to the Red Cross
    Join the YMCA
    Join the Military
    Salute the Flag
    Sing the National Anthem
    Go to War
    Vote (Conscience matter now to please Governments, you will be ostracized if you do)

    Run for any Public Office
    Campaign for a Candidate
    Can join union, but not participate in its affairs
    Buy lottery tickets
    Date without supervision - young or old
    Watch R rated movies
    Cannot work on another Church if it's a regular customer
    Smoke cigarettes, pipes or a cigars
    Sell cigarettes, pipes or a cigars
    Accept Blood

    Donate Blood
    Wear blue jeans or casual clothes to the Kingdom Hall
    Wear pants to the Kingdom Hall if you are a female
    Wear skirts or dresses that are above the knee at any time
    Wear any type of long hair if you are a man
    Wear a beard in some Kingdom Halls and areas (judged hard)
    Pierce ears if male, other body parts if female
    Have any Tattoos
    Say curse words
    Toast drinks (pagan origin)
    Throw rice at a wedding (pagan origin)
    Say "Bless You" when someone sneezes
    Say "Good Luck!", "Wish me Luck", "I was Lucky" or "You were Lucky"
    Tell a ghost story
    Watch TV shows, "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch", "Touched by an Angel", or "Bewitched"
    Say "It was fate" or mention anything to do with "fate"
    Engage in any risky acts such as: Sky Diving, Bungie Jumping & Hang Gliding
    Have Jesus as your Mediator and Savior

    Wear or own a Cross
    Attend another Church (Spiritual Fornication)

    Associate on a regular basis with nonbelievers

    Associate with ex-members

    Associate with disfellowshipped ones
    Talk with disfellowshipped ones
    Marry a nonbeliever (If you do, you are judged hard by the congregation)
    Marry in another Church or attend a wedding in another Church
    Have a funeral in another Church or attend a funeral in another Church
    Pray, including holding your head down, when a nonbeliever prays
    Study other religious articles not from the Society
    Read negative information about the Society
    Question the Watchtower Society on anything
    Exercise your on conscience if it goes against the religion
    Question Anything!
    Have Christian freedom

    Become a Jehovah's Witness and you have to....
    Attend several regular meetings each week
    Go out in field service regularly to recruit new members
    Report your field service activity to the congregation each month
    Attend regular scheduled conventions
    Give talks at the congregation (whether young or old, male or female)
    Read and fully understand their teachings
    Prepare for each meeting
    Study with family
    Fully accept the Watchtower's authority and rules (no exceptions)
    Dress according to their rules at the Kingdom Halls, Service and conventions (no exceptions)
    • Women and small girls must wear dresses
    • Men must wear dress pants with dress shirts and ties
    Associate only with fellow members
    Report on fellow members including your family, if they are caught doing something against Society's rules

    You have to sing at the meetings (even if you have a bad voice) - or you are looked down upon.

    So you are willing to join then?

    ** **

  • itsalingthing

    I can appreciate all of the advice. No we did not have intercourse. We did go to afew important stages of foreplay, however. I don't know if he would leave the JW for me. I don't really want him to. That would be the same as me joining FOR him. If he wants to leave, it should be on his own terms and I would do the same. Apparantly, after speaking to him last night, the reason he wasn't speaking to me was not about religion or beliefs. It was about an argument we had, and how it made him feel. I often wonder how devout he is. We have drinks every night (sometimes to excess) and he started smoking again recently (I am a smoker). He has an energy about him that I want around me all the time. He makes comments about WHEN we are married, carrying me over the threshold and WHEN we have sex. After our conversation yesterday, I almost fell off the fence (literally) and he said something about a story to tell the grandchildren. So I think he wants the same things as me, but only time will tell how that will happen.

    I know almost everyone told me to run away as fast as I could. I can't, or won't, do that. The person he is is too good to let get away. Remember, that all of the ex-JW that responded, were once not ex. You were right there with him and held the same beliefs. Something, or someone, gave you the courage to leave. Maybe I am that for him. I am willing to stick around and find out. I am not a religious person, and I wouldn't become a JW JUST to be with him. I know that I enjoy celebrating my Birthday and Thanksgiving and national holidays (X-Mas and Easter and those other "religious" holidays never had much meaning for me in the sense of commercialism). I love to celebrate Mother's and Father's day with my parents. So joining will have to be MY decision, and MINE alone.

    I will keep you all posted. I would say "wish me luck" but, well, you know. :)

  • Sirona

    I really hope things work out well for you.

    ** **

  • jaded

    Itsalingthing, you are right. We were at one time where your friend is now. Maybe you will be the one who gives him the courage to leave. Good luck! (It feels so good to be able to say that again!)

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