Welcome...continue to research the truth about this organization...my mother is also an JW extremist, so I can relate to some extent.
Stay strong!
Kool Jo
New here
by winnie12 42 Replies latest jw experiences
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Giordano
You've gotten good advice. Take it slow and easy. If you understand the TTATT then you understand that you have one life to live....yours. So it is up to you to live a meaningful life.
When JW's say "but where can we go?" They are not asking the right question. Start with 'who am I?' Once who get a hint of who you really are it is much easier to understand what you can become.
Best wishes for the rest of your life.
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winnie12
Thank you all for your kind words. My dad is a great help right now. I had a long conversation with him about the ins and outs of being a jw. When I first has told him at the begining of our discussion that I wanted to stop attending meetings he was shocked. He like many married to jw's thought it was a great place for a young person for myself to be. But when I told him I would like to go to university he was puzzled as to way I could not go. When I explained what the organization tells young onea about regarding "higher education" he was shocked. He compared it to the way the Taliban in the Middle East prevents women from getting education so they can contiune to control their lives. He told me he was behind me 100% and that I should do what feels best. As mentioned I am going to fad slowly, my mom I think knows something is up and the one elder in particular I've got to be extra careful around. I am leaning more towards a quiet departure that won't draw too much attention. Anyways I truly feel like a weight has been lifted and I'm actual excited and hopeful about the future. I cant wait to see my therapist next week after the hoildays to talk about this breakthrough.
I had mentioned that I wanted to go to scho overseas. I'm in Canada right now and had been over to the UK before and loved it. I am looking into universities over there and for me personally I think being far away from home and finally being on my own I can really find myself. I know that sounds so cliche but it holds true to my situation. Thank you all again for your kind words!
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breakfast of champions
Welcome!
Sounds like a good plan - good thing your father isn't "in the truth" - that should make things somewhat easier. All good advice above: try to stay below the radar, avoid talking to anyone about your "doubts" ( no matter how difficult it is ), and most importanly, go to university and do your best at whatever you really love to do.
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Ding
Welcome!
The feeling that you can never measure up is programmed into you by the organization.
It's the driving force they use to keep JWs on the performance treadmill.
It's always more, more, more, and you never have done enough.
I recommend that you read through Galatians and Romans.
I think you'll be surprised to see that that's not the message of the New Testament at all.
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LisaRose
Welcome, glad you found your way here. It sounds like you are well on your way out of the religion. A quiet fade is probably best for now. Going away for college could be a good plan, it will allow you to be away from the religion and your mother's influence. It can be hard to be on your own though, so make sure you have a support system if you do go away to college. Your dad sounds like a great guy, so that should help.
You don't say if you have gotten counseling, but if you have had suicidal thoughts and depression, you should be getting some help. My daughter attempted twice, but she got lots of therapy and she is fine now. It can be lonely to be a long way from home, and if you are prone to depression, it can be overwhelming, so make sure you are OK before you go away to college.
Take care, and let us know how things go.
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flipper
WINNIE- Welcome to the board. Lots of great advice for you here. We are happy to have you here ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper
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FadeToBlack
Welcome. You are not alone.
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Coffee House Girl
Welcome! I also could relate to your story (born in, dad not in the truth, worried about mom shunning). I remember feeling depressed, alone, and suicidal-feeling like I was having a nervous breakdown from the mental stress of wanting to leave but so worried about what it would do to mom. People have given a lot of good advise here to not do anything drastic and do not share your personal feelings about the WT to mom- I know that can be a challenge, JWs are trained to spill their guts!
Keep your cool and maybe take some gen ed courses in canada, then maybe you can transfer to a school abroad- speaking from experience (I am a college senior now and have studied abroad), be sure to do some research to make sure that any college credits taken abroad will transfer back to your home country or are acredited...you could end up with an expensive degree that is not recognized anywhere else!
But taking the step to go to university is exciting- that is something positive to focus on!!! Be sure you are doing things to widen your network of friends outside of the JWs...join a club, join a gym, get out there and talk to people, I think that really helps.
Best of luck to you!
CHG
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Narcissistic Supply
Hi Winnie,
A little Napolean Hill Advice:
Think about, Talk about, dream about, how you want (your life) to be. Start where you stand. Use the tools that you have to move in the direction of the life you imagine. Better tools will come. Develop a burning desire for what you want in your life. Develop a plan and back that plan with action. Action Action Action. It's the key.....
-Napolean Hill and the Science of personal achievement.