Help me...!

by OneDayillBeFree 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • Band on the Run
    Band on the Run

    Take heart. It will not last. I observe two things as an outsider. First, you are going through a major life transition. Transitions have always been bumpy rides for me. There is the excitement of a new life. Your body and brain are used to your old life. The best times of my life started in despair and angst. My first days of college and law school, a new apartment, work, etc. all started with wondering whether I would have a heart attack from the fear. Within a short time, however, I felt better than ever. Everything precious in my life started with anxiety.

    The Witness religion is not a casual affair. It is the central event of your life. Why do you think we have so many meetings and field service? It reinforces the message that we are incomplete. We need the GB and the elders. If we are busy with Witness life, we have little time for exposure to the real world. I don't know if Steve Hassan books are that good. The phenomena of cults is widely reported. Try a google search to find out what happened to your brain. Leaving is not easy for most people. It can be very hard. Give yourself credit that at least you have now and the future.

    Moving, losing relationships and a religion are major stressors. You may have major depression which is biological. If you do, you need appropriate treatment. The Witness mindset may reappear here. Self reliance is not enough to treat it. Seeing a doctor to be screened is a good step. The sooner you are evaluated, the sooner you may get relief.

    You should commend yourself for posting here. I believe if you read posts here many here faced similar situations. The former Bethelites come to mind. They were so involved with t he Witnesses that they worked for almost no wages at Bethel to serve Jehovah. Terry, another member, went to prison during the Viet Nam War. They paid heavy prices for believing in Witness doctrine. Everyone has a different experience but I do believe that most don't jump "Yipee. Let me leave and have a normal life." It takes time. I left very young. There are parts of the Witness life that haunt me even now. It is a process. What people report is that once they complete the transition, they are much happier. Many members decide to finish education that was delayed. New friendships are formed. It is not an overnight process.

    There is a saying about moving. You take your problems with you. I do observe as I move through communities, though, that some are more hospitable to me than others.

  • DeWandelaar
    DeWandelaar

    http://youtu.be/ANk_Fn0mEyY

    Youve got to get yourself together. You got stuck in a moment you cant get out of.

    However...

    it's just a moment... that time will pass

    Cheer up my friend. When you got in that shit and got nothing else to loose your way will only be up. X a friend from the netherlands.

  • problemaddict
    problemaddict

    So many here have had such similar thoughts and feelings at different times. You are right to throw your thoughts out here, read the responses, and take a step back from your own feelings.

    Its hard to step back from this religion. All "friendships" and "family" are only as loyal to you, as you are to the religion. Its very backwards, and shameful on their part. They don't know any better.

    When everything happens all at once, it can really be overwhelming.

    Pay the ticket. Don't put it off. Get it in the rear view. id on't think about tickets after they have been paid do you?

    Don't worry about friends and family right now. Being lonely is difficult, but being out in the world doing things on your own can be good and theraputic. Hit a movie, read a book in a public coffee shop. You mgiht be surprised at the nice people you meet.

    Most of all, realize not eveything has to be done right now.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    You haven't said where you are in the world.

    You ask for help, but I am not a doctor.

    Get yourself to a doctor - a psychologist or a psychiatrist - (a psychiatrist can precribe drugs, a psychologist can't).

    The right medication and learning how to see your experiences from the proper perspective can help you.

  • thedog1
    thedog1

    Some great posts here. Some really good advice. And particularly the offer of help from you Sam (aka Kate Wild). Now that is what I call Christianity in action. You are some lady. Maybe apologies to all the ex-Christians on this forum, though not really as I am still an active Witness, elder, etc.) but I hope I acknowledge good sense when I see it.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Focus on the number one thingthou need fix do to fix your life. First is probably a new job. Focus, focus, focus and you will get there.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Hang in there. Post-JW life will have it's ups and downs. And you're at a stage where there may be a lot of downs. There are a lot of ups in your future. I can't promise you a panda-petting paradise, but they make lousy housepets anyway.

    Feel free to vent. Good advice has already been posted here. Think about it, what you want, who you want to become. And think about it some more. Then decide what you want to go for.

    Don't let "what if"s or "if only"s cloud your vision. What's past is past.

    We're wishing you the best.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I was in a similar spot once. I was trying to save up enough $ to move far away and start my life as a non-jw fresh, make new friends and a life for myself. I wasn't able to save up enough $ for a long time, and by then, I had made a life for myself where I was.

    Recently I had the opportunity to move away and did it. I am so much happier. No longer do I fear giving someone my last name, expecting them to recognize me from my door-knocking days, and have the word get out and affect my career. No longer do I drive by a familiar place daily and recall door knocking or other aspects of my depressing jw life. I am just me.

    It seems someone here has offered you a hand up. You are so lucky for that.

    Take care of yourself--take vitamins, eat properly, drink enough water, get enough exercise, get enough sleep. Take some Benadryl to help with the latter, meditate before bedtime, and consider this. You must take care of yourself in order to get yourself on track. Fake it 'til you make it.

  • love2Bworldly
    love2Bworldly

    Hi-- it took me a while to feel comfortable socializing outside the Jdumb organization -- it takes time, but it will get better for you. As they say, "time heals all wounds" or at least time makes it easier after a while.

    You are having a hard time right now, so be good to yourself, don't blame yourself, and do things or find things that bring you joy-- whether it's your favorite music or watching your favorite comedy to make you laugh. Take time for yourself for your own healing.

    I wish you the best. (I suffer from bipolar so I have my bad times believe me.)

  • Wasanelder Once
    Wasanelder Once

    You are in the enviable position of starting clean. Your new friends will not judge you by your dogma. They will find that thing about you that they love and cling to it. And you will do the same. Go where people are. Get a job you like. Go to entertainment that you like. Dont do the JW thing and judge everyone you see as being suspiscious because they are different. You are too, you're on even ground now. Breathe deep and change your focus. One thing at a time. Dont even mess with the Hall if its your choice. I found it a weight around my neck when I attended. All the best. Freedom is a new thing to be cherished.

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