Help me...!

by OneDayillBeFree 37 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    When the world comes crashing down, shrink your world. You have to eat. You need shelter, and sleep. Every ten minutes, ask yourself what is the most important thing you have to do in those moments, and do those things. If your head is going too fast to sleep, write those things down and forget them. You'll come back to that sheet later.

    Maslow

    Next, find a new job. Maybe better than the old job. You can't find a new job if you haven't been eating or sleeping.

    The very, very last thing to ponder is the meaning of life.

    Clear your mind for action.

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    Oneday,

    Oh my goodess sakes, how many things can someone endure at once! Even when one more thing piles on, you will suprise yourself. You might not take it like some perfect person ( I know I sure didn't) but you can do it at some level you didn't know you even had. I myself hit the bottom of maslows needs as Jgnaut provided in her post. I had to stop trying to attend to the top portions and focus on the bottom becsause I was losing control.

    Be sure to keep coming back here every day/night that you can to vent vent vent to people who " get" you so well.

    Take each day one day at a time, try not to wonder to far in advance in negative terms, but use that tine instead ot try to plan positive things. To think outside the box your mind is currently in. You can find many people here to help you, but you do need a professional when you life gets you this down. It's worth it. You can find a therapist who words for a sliding scale with ( gasp) Catholic Charities, and they do NOT bring in religion to the therapy unless you expressedly relll them to. They are professionals that give thier time to people who are" down on their luck". They are for all people regardless of religions beliefs and follow professional ethics not to bring in religion (unless asked to do so).

    Like I said before, please vent here as often as you like. It is so important to tell people who know where you are emotionally, mentally, as they have been there in one aspect or another. You need lots of words of encouragement.

    ((Hugs))

  • blondie
    blondie

    Sorry to hear about your troubles.

    (you can be marked for quitting pioneering? I've done it twice and was never marked)

  • rmt1
    rmt1

    "Dwelling night after night in "what could have been" if I had never been a JW."

    If you are getting unplugged right now, what is it in your 'could have been' category you can still do? You sound like you have fifty years at least.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Wow, you do have a lot on your plate right now. It's only natural to feel down when the universe seems to be sticking it's tonge out at you. First things first, focus on getting a job. Figuring out the God thing will happen, just put that on the back burner for now. Friends, you need them. Is there an interest you could explore to potentially meet new people? Hiking, photography, whatever, it's a good way to meet like minded people, kind of like the KH, but no ties or suits. It all seems pretty grim now, but trust me, it will get better. I didn't get out of the Borg until I was 45, which at the time seemed very old, I thought I wasted so much time. But since then I have moved to a different state, got remarried, lost my job, started a business, and made many new friends. I am sure it will be the same for you, you just have to give it time.

  • Narcissistic Supply
    Narcissistic Supply

    Grow a pair dude. Go to work on yourself. Be a man. Think about the thing you want in this world and don't think about the things you don't want. Make a list of 100 things you want to do in this world. Write them down.

    I can't stress this enough. Go to work on yourself. You are a projection of your thoughts. And you need to get your head on straight.

    Read Read Read.

    Your body is a temple. Take good care of it. Treat it as such.

    I could go on. But hey.

    Enjoy your life man.

    Get on with it.

    Best,

  • tiki
    tiki

    My suggestion would be to pursue something that you really like - take some courses at a local college - find people who share the same interests and develop a life beyond the KH and people there. Hang in there - it is no easy trek, but the freedom and happiness well worth it. You will make friends - reach out and find things you personally feel good about and capitalize on them.

    And stay away from depressing doomsday negative types - you know where they like to congregate...

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    You might ask yourself where I learned to shrink my world in a crisis.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Forgive me, but is this not a bit more about perspective than anything? Is the world and universe against you.... Or did you park illegally?

    This is a tough spot to be in and I do feel for you, but it is a state of mind, it is not an onslaught from the universe or a god. Reading your words made me feel you were screaming out for control....

    Be strong, take control of your life...

    What do you want from life? What do you want to do with your life? Where do you want to spend your life?

    figure it out.... Then simply do it!

    BY THE WAY, here is a little tip that should help... Those people you are so concerned about, the elders, the local cong, the JW's as a group... Look at them, they are nobody of significance! Don't let them dictate your life OR especially...how you feel! Ever again! Elders are just yes men to a cult, largely unprofessiinal, uneducated, power hungry ego's with legs.... See them for what they are, laugh at their judgment and get a life buddy, i mean it in the nicest way x

  • flipper
    flipper

    ONEDAYILLBEFREE- You've had some really good suggestions so far. I'm sorry you are going through these challenging and negative experiences. Please know that we are all here for you. Katewild has offered to open her home to you- a supremely kind gesture. If you folks know each other- you may want to take her up on it until you get on your feet more securely, emotionally, financially, and mentally. Seek out a good professional therapist to help you vent and talk about your problems as they've been trained to help you see how to handle depression. Things will get better in time, I know it doesn't look that way now- but the sooner you extricate yourself from this negative atmosphere this JW cult brings you- your path will get clearer to you indeed. Remember we are here for you if you need to vent or talk too as friends. Hang in there buddy

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