The fiance brought in witnesses today oh joy. QUESTIONS

by OneStepOut93 30 Replies latest jw friends

  • Ding

    Hard to say.

    I think most JW parents would try to talk you and even pressure their child into breaking up in this situation, but you know your parents' inclinations and we don't.

  • ruderedhead

    OneStep, you don't beleive in this religion, correct? While it's very loving of your fiance to want to mend your relationship with your parents, that relationship needs to be based in truth and mutual respect. Why are you going to subject yourself to a meeting at the KH that you don't want to be at?

    My personal opinion is that you should call your parents ( or whomever is picking you up tomorrow )this evening and tell them you have thought about it and do not wish to attend. Your relationship with God is personal, it's YOUR relationship with Him, and you have some different beliefs than they do. Be respectful, non-judgemental and kind. But be firm that this is a NON-NEGOTIABLE matter. Tell them you love them & will respect their beliefs, but ask that they show you the same courtesy. Don't go into details right now. Don't argue or debate.

    You only get one shot at life, honey. Make sure you're the one calling the shots in your own life. I pray that they try to understand. All the best to you on your journey.

  • tiki

    why does your relationship have to be contingent on your accompanying them to meetings? why not just make a date and go out to eat as two couples - and just get to know eachother for real....

  • OneStepOut93

    Yeah I may just not go tomorrow. I don't want to be greeted with false smiles.

  • Giordano

    I would not go to a meeting for your parents at this time. I think it is very important that you explain to your fiancé, if you haven't already done so, the JW'S believe........... like blood, billions dieing at Armageddon, bans on holidays even birth days, no respect for higher education, failed prophecies when they predicted the end of the world almost a dozen times. Lay it out then have him check out so he can see for himself and then talk about your future together and the kind of life you both want to live.

    In fact share this forum and the replies your getting.

    GIO out 45 years living a moral and prosperous life rich in family and friends.


    One StepOut93,

    If you give them an inch they will take a mile. If you then do not go regularly they will be very offended. Would I be right in saying you cannot give them what they want which is regular meeting attendance? When they have that they will want regular publisher hours on ministry and then talks on the ministry school.

    Do not give them an inch or any false hope. Do not go to the meeting. Explain to your fiance who clearly seems to mean well that a little commitment to this cult is not acceptable - it must be 100% or they will harass you until you do.


  • Comatose

    Sorry you are going through this. It is sad that you have to feel in knots over it. What do you want to do? Do THAT.

  • ShirleyW

    I'm curious as to how old you are, however, if you made that bold move to move out of your parents house and move in with your boyfrirend, what's keeping you from telling the JWs that you don't want to go with them to meeting (since you describe it as your boyfriend set the whole thing up not you)

  • jgnat

    Not a witness story, but I think you will relate. Hubby thought he would help me out by paying an unscheduled visit to my mother in another province. His reasoning is that no mother would turn away her own child. Well it turns out she was not prepared to see me so we drove eight hours home without seeing her. I was violently ill and threw up all the way home.

    Your fiancee is well meaning but misinformed. There are some good ex-witness books out there right now. Terry just published one. Get him to read one of these before the two of you pursue any further contact.

  • rebel8

    he invited the witnesses in and told them the whole story. They're picking me up for meeting tomorrow.

    How did this happen, you going to the meeting? How do you go from someone else speaking to the dubs to, "I'm going to the hall tomorrow"?

    I'm wondering if you had a reaction to the power they used to yield over you? Feeling like you had to go along with things? Maybe it's better to stay away until you gain distance and feel more in control?

Share this