should I tell the CO my doubts?

by Captain Blithering 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Black Sheep

  If you have a loving wife she will respect your feelings and thoughts.

  That is just wishful thinking. Relying on your family member being one of the rare few reasonable members of mind control cults after they have found out you are 'weak in the faith' just plays into the WT's hands. Every warning you ever heard the WT give about apostate spotting was heard by your family members. When the WT said what to do when confronted by opposers, questioners, apostates, etc., they were listening too. If you really want your family members out, you have to consider doing the damage while they still believe you are a trooo believer. Consider being the last one out. First out seldom works ... read the experiences in this forum if you don't believe that.
• 

  designs

  Just be prepared to be blacklisted and all that comes with that- parts on the meetings eliminated, not asked to read the Wt. at the Sunday meeting, not asked to pray at the metings, and socially you will be shunned from gatherings etc..
• 

  blondie

  The CO is a company man and his position more than elders depends on supporting the company line. Be prepared with written research you have already done. Several things can occur.

  1) He will cut you off midstream if it is too long (so pick the best supporting piece)

  2) He'll ask if you talked to the elders

  3) He'll tell you to pray and "wait on Jehovah."

  4) He might tell you his personal feelings but say he will deny it if you tell anyone else.

  I was involved in a sexual abuse case in my family with a BOE outside my congregation. The CO was aware of the problem and how the elders had swept it under the rug. He was little help and support but expressed a private personal regret that he had done nothing. But the elders skated and are all are elders today except one (inactive).

  I learned that COs rarely address any hurtful issues or go up against the WTS even when the WTS is wrong...they have too much to lose.
• 

  Tiktaalik

  No. Just leave.
• 

  Laika

  The problem with this idea Captain is that you don't have doubts, you have knowledge.

  Nothing a CO or elder can tell you will convince you it's the truth again, and if the CO and elders decide to go to effots to help you, at some point you have to back down and agree with their weak answers or say you'll 'Wait on Jehovah' to avoid disfellowshipping, but now you'll be on the radar during your fade.

  Of course, there's no good way to leave this religion, it's a tough situation, I understand.
• 

  Ding

  You might get DFd if you do.

  How would that affect you?

  If your wife isn't present, she may assume you showed a bad attitude toward the CO and elders and that anything they do to you is your fault.

  Only you can decide if the possible benefits are worth the risk.
• 

  sspo

  We have been in your shoes...all has been said about the outcome once you realize this religion is not the "truth".

  You cannot stay in and play their game, the only hope is that in time your wife might see the "light " and both of you walk away from the watchtower.

  In my case,ex wife did not want to live with an " apostate ".

  Take your time with your decisions, act wisely and good luck.
• 

  ABibleStudent

  Hi Captain Blithering, You already know what is the correct answer for you because you wrote it in your post. Don't bother telling the CO your reasons (doubts) becasue he doesn't care. He wants you to just keep on serving the WTBTS.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  The C.O. told me that his instructions to the BOE were to "snatch [me] out of the fire."
  I am sure it was more like, "Avoid Bro. OTWO and his dangerous thoughts, but if you see an opportunity where he can be confused, snatch him out of the fire."

  The point is that the C.O. position lends itself to being two-faced. Tell the member one thing, tell the elders another. Maybe even three-faced, telling the organization something else again.

  I thought about the misses seeing my concerns unaddressed, but instead she says that they gave me what I needed and I don't want any more of what they have to say. She saw unaddressed concerns as MY fault. Any answer, no matter how insufficient, can be seen by a member as a complete answer to your questions.

  Sometimes, hounding is seen for what it is. I will give you that. For the most part, though, I think diehard members see it as the congregation cleansing they say it is.
• 

  westiebilly11

  express doubts to a CO?.....you'll just end up having your cards marked..and elders on your tail....play safe...keep your doubts to yourself and leave....eventually...without rigmarole of jc etc etc...