How do JW's get reinstated?

by Sally 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • Sally
    Sally

    I have a friend that was DF'd last year. He hasn't committed the "sin" in a year and doesn't plan on doing it again either. He has been very strong and wants to get reinstated. He has been a JW all his life and it is all he knows. Why is it taking so long? What does he have to do? Is it just a matter of time? The more he is out of their fellowship, the more chances of being tempted there are. He's been so hurt, I don't know why he would even care but he says he doesn't question the teachings. That would mean death, right? By the way, I'm new here but have been reading your posts on and off for a year (since my friend got DF'd). I finally got the nerve to write.

  • Matty
    Matty

    Sally,
    The general procedure is that the DF'd one returns to the meetings and sits quietly at the back. They approach one of the elders (they can talk to any elder, but not any of the other members of the congregation) and ask to be reinstated. It usually takes a couple of months of regular meeting attendance, and a couple of meetings with elders. Then there is the reinstatement anouncement at the midweek meeting, after which they can then be accepted into the congregation again.

  • William Penwell
    William Penwell

    The question I would ask your friend is Why would you want to get reinstated in the first place? As you have read the posts here you will realize that the JW's are a cult. Your friend can find true happiness all he has to do is look inside himself. He does not need any man made organization.

    If he really wants to get back in. The elders look at whether he is repented (Translated means, has he done a lot of ass kissing). Regularly attending the meetings and not practicing the wrong doing anymore. After a period of time and if he was DF'd in another congregation, the elders will recommend to the congregation he was DF'd in to be reinstated.

    Will

    "I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
    Mark Twain

  • gsx1138
    gsx1138

    Well I tried for a year also to get reinstated and gave up. It was the best descision I ever made and there are plenty of people who can voich (sp) for that. I do think the main reasons for people wanting to go back is that is all they know, all their friends/family are there, and they've been programmed to think that the world has nothing to offer them but sorrow. It saddens me that your friend can not break his chains of mental imprisonment but in the end that is his descision. If he has a computer tell him to come here and tell his story.
    As far as your question, it depends on the elders and who it is. If your father is an elder you'll be reinstated usually in a few months. I've known an elders daughter who got DF'd every other year and was reinstated withing 4 months each time. So it is more of a status thing than actual repentence. If he was relatively unknown to begin with they'll take their time. They say that meeting attendance is a must but rarely does anyone take note of you as you sit in the back and leave early every time. He has to approach the elders and ask to be reinstated. They do not go to him (unless this has changed since 1990).
    As far as questioning the teachings. Do you not find it interesting that all of what you learn about JW are from JW. It is a combination of 'selective exposure' and 'selective retention'. If I hand you a piece of paper that says the world is flat. Then I tell you, "The world is flat." You look at me funny and I say,"Well don't believe me read it for yourself. I wouldn't want you to take what I say on a blind faith." Low and behold the paper says the world is flat. I've just provided you with the resource material (from me) to back up MY claims.

    Dear Lord, please save me from your followers.

  • LB
    LB

    Well some get reinstated in just a couple of months. Maybe he hasn't been attending all the meetings. Maybe he actually is doing some things wrong. Maybe the elders don't like him or his attitude.

    Don't expect the entire procedure to make any sense to you. It doesn't make sense to anyone with a brain.


    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • BluesBrother
    BluesBrother

    Hello Sally, welcome to the board.

    If your friend really wants to go back, then :
    1] He attends the meetings , even though the cong is not allowed to speak to him, and is not supposed to even smile or acknowlege him - and he certainly could not answer up and he has to sit at the very back and leave imediately it ends.

    2} After a few months of this,no set limit, he requests a re instatement hearing from the judicial committee .

    3] The hearing is set up similar to his disfellowshipping hearing. He is quizzed by three elders regarding his actions and ,most importantly, his attitude now. He has to convince them of his complete and utter repentance and a revulsion for the sin he committed.

    4] if they are satisfied, and he convinces them that he really wants to be a faithfull witness, then they agree to it . The cong. gets an announcement at the next meeting that he is re instated and he is back in the fold.Restrictions may applied at the elders discretion.

    That is about it

    Question?

    From what you have read on this board, do you really want him to go back to that narrow minded,rule bound system that only teaches untruths
    Be a friend and discourage him from doing it - there is plenty of life outside .

  • Matty
    Matty

    This thread has filled up quick!

    As you can see Sally, we have the full spectrum here:
    Devout Witnesses (erm...actually not too many of them!), through to some very angry ex-witnesses indeed!

    I forgot to say a big warm welcome to you.

    Have fun - don't take life too seriously and don't make your first post your last!

    Love
    Matty

  • Sally
    Sally

    Thanks for the info. I know my friend goes to a lot of the meetings. We live in a small town and he has been in the same KH all his life. I guess he's just never approached an elder yet. I know he feels guilt and thinks he's wrong and they are right. I can't really talk too much about it all with him because I'm afraid he will think I'm a bad influence and stop talking to me altogether. Why do I care? I'm not sure except that I see his pain. We only became friends I think because none of his friends or family would talk to him and he needed someone. I didn't know anything about the Witnesses before that.

  • LB
    LB

    It's good your friend has you for a friend Sally. None of his witness friends will give him the time of day now. Hopefully one day he will see the cult for what it is.


    Never Squat With Yer Spurs On

  • SumnerSloan
    SumnerSloan

    <<He has to convince them of his complete and utter repentance and a revulsion for the sin he committed.>>

    AND ... If he doesn't shed tears over it - he's clearly "not repentant"!

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