My mother came for a visit

Faithful Witness

She has not visited us in over a year, except with my dad. We have not had a chance to talk one on one in a very long time. She is an actice JW. I am an apostate, never baptized. She continues to treat me like we have a normal relationship. We usually don't discuss JW things.

Lately, we have been going back and forth a little bit... Ok, more than a little bit. I've leaked info to her, and she today accused me of "attacking the witnesses." That was as hard has she got with me, and it was merely a side comment. We actually had a good discussion, and I'm pretty sure I saw her mind turn on a couple of times. It was a relief.

She is planning to come back in two weeks, and sleep over for two nights! Yay! This is the best news so far.

Things she allowed me to discuss with her: Candace Conti case, new bible (she is going to see if she can get me a copy... Her idea), disfellowship policies and clarifying what she thinks it means for whom. She actually made the statement that maybe she should not have gone ahead with the baptism. I said, "you're trapped now." She agreed, but then said she could leave if she wanted to, to which I replied, "not if you ever want to see S & I again (grandkids)."

I feel our visit went very well, as she acted normal and wanted to discuss some of these things. As she was leaving, she said she would rather stay here, than go to her meeting tonight. I take this as good news. She now has an hour to drive home, thinking of all the things we talked about.

Even though she freaked me out with her cultist email right after the special meeting, I still feel like I have a relationship with her. This is good Enough for now. Mending the situation that divides our family, may never happen, since one member will not budge. She gave me some relief, telling me I had done all I could to accommodate. Sadly, it looks like we move forward as an incomplete unit, unless my sister wakes up.

Anyway, just just an update... I'm sure cult mom will be rearing her head again, but I am encouraged that we were able to connect.

cofty

Thanks for sharing that. Take it easy.

krejames

Thanks for the update. I'm glad you had a positive time with your mum. Sounds like there might be hope there.

Apognophos

That's good to hear. And you can't be an apostate, as you were never a Witness. I say this not to nitpick your wording, but to make the point that no JW has the right to call you an apostate (the worst of insults for them, as you know), so you can rightfully object if anyone tries to pin that label on you.

OnTheWayOut

It's good that you enjoyed some time with your mom. I would not suggest that she is trapped if she wants to see her grandkids. A better thought is that "there must be something you could do." Positive thoughts can help.

If she gives you a new Bible, return the favor and give her a book. (Probably not CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE, that's a little too much for most JW's.) If you think something like COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL is too much for her, then try something like MISTAKES WERE MADE, BUT NOT BY ME.

http://www.amazon.com/Mistakes-Were-Made-But-Not/dp/0156033909/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381451785&sr=1-1&keywords=mistakes+were+made+but+not+by+me

Just a thought.

Other than that, I suggest you go a bit slow on more anti-JW information.

Captain Obvious

Just be glad she'll still talk to you! So many of us on here can't even get a single conversation with our mothers.

And I agree with the above advice, cool it for a while... Let it sink in.

ABibleStudent

Hi Faithful Witness, Have some faith in unconditional love, yourself, and in your Mom's authentic persona. It sounds like you had a great conversation with your Mom. You just need to learn how to turn on your Mom's authentic persona and control her cult persona. It makes it easier when you realize you have time so go slow until your mother starts asking you which websites to visit to learn more about the WTBTS.

Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

Robert

steve2

She still talks to you - and is coming to stay a couple of nights! Wow! She sounds like a wonderful mother.

When it comes to serving her some of TTATT, go light. I know you Americans have big appetites, but small side dishes here and there are preferable to a banquet.

She wouldn't be the first Witness to be given too much solid food by well-intended family and then develop sudden indigestion and vow never to have those dishes ever again.

And remember, just as Witnesses can hog the limelight with every single blasted topic leading to their preaching about "the Truth", so can those who are keen to alert Witnesses to TTATT.

Widen the conversation and go for long walks together just savoring each other's company.

Faithful Witness

This is all excellent advice. I'm just thrilled that she actually came over. I will find a way to keep my fact and opinions to myself on her next visit.

Thank you so much.

@OTWO: I ordered that book. It looks like it definitely applies to me in many parts of my life. Thanks for the recommendation.

now I will let her stomach settle, to use steve's analogy. I am a total hog of limelight, when someone is willing to listen to me.

I have cried so many hours over this, and now feeling sort of silly... but I think the keen and wise advice advice I got here, could have been what helped me find the proper way to get to this point. I also know it can turn right back around and bite me again.

all I can say now, is thanks! I also enjoy the book recommendations. I'm building a library of interesting books, and love learning so much about people.

Gorbatchov

Great!

My mother came for a visit

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