Hi,
I've just signed up two days ago, but I've been lurking for about a year and a half. Here's my story if you're interested:
I'm a born-in. My parents converted when they were in their first semester of college. They dropped out to pioneer because the end was so close in the 80s. Dad became an elder, and they raised a family, of which I'm the youngest.
I was baptized at 10. My parents wanted me to wait until 16, but I was a strange, religious little kid and they let me. I'd pioneer every summer, commented and gave talks, although it seemed like the better I got at them, the less I was assigned.
If you ever meet me in person, you'll find I don't talk much. Instead of socializing and watching tv, I spent almost all of the time I wasn't preaching, reading. I read through every publication we had, the bible about 6 or 7 times (I'd track starting and ending dates do 5 chapters a day and finish every 8 months) the Insight Books, All Scriptures Inspired, and some of the older ones like, Babylon the Great has Fallen, The Harp of God, and The Nations Shall Know that I Am Jehovah. As you can see, I clearly wasted my childhood.
I found this site when I was trying to find out what the new publication were. I used to be very excited about the new releases. I used to wonder, will this be the year I'm finally able to understand the whole bible? I was especially interested in prophecy, and was very disappointed when the new books about Jeremiah and the minor prophets were only about behavior modification.
Anyways, when I found this site, and first I felt smugly vindicated, like everything the society said about apostates were true. They were bitter, hateful, lost, and unhappy. With the confidence that my divine knowledge would protect me, I began reading a thread every once in a while. It was strangely exciting to be doing something so taboo, and I became an apologist in my head, refuting each accusation against God's organization.
Then one day a post directed me to JWfacts, and in a week of devouring the contents of that website, my entire faith fell apart. I couldn't refute the clear logic and facts that were presented. I obtained Crisis of Conscience, and Combating Cult Mind Control. I would destroy each page as I read them so my secret wouldn't be discovered. After that, every meeting and publication only confirmed what I had learned, and I began reading through this forum with a little more respect and humility.
I don't really want to talk about what happened next because the memories are still fresh and painful. Basically, I wasn't able to pretend, I'd feel physically ill before each meeting and I stopped service. I finally told my parents, and submitted a letter of disassociation. Instead of working with me, I became a problem they just wanted to go away. I became homeless, I lost my friends, my entire family, and my fiance. After a very difficult year, I'm now finishing my first semester of community college, working two minimum wage jobs and sleeping in someone's hallway.
It's been hard. But what I'm discovering is that the world I had been taught to hate can be incredibly kind. I'm learning the extent of my ignorance. I hate what happened, but I wouldn't trade my new freedom for anything. The freedom to think and believe whatever I wish is very precious to me now. I also feel damned lucky to be young enough to make a different life for myself.
Well, I guess that's all. Hope it was helpful for someone.