Faders shunned now?

by Sammy Jenkis 46 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Phizzy

  Yup, the WT are absolute masters of weasel words and the art of talking out of both sides of their mouths.

  The average JW does not really listen at Assemblies, or really read with comprehension what is written in the magrags, but by a kind of osmosis they absorb the need to treat any who have left as "bad association".

  I 'phoned my Mum shortly after her last C.A to see if a visit from me was convenient, and she mumbled something about she "would rather not", I ignored that and dropped in anyway and we chatted about normal things, and she has been O.K since, I guess something said at the C.A prompted the "rather not", but the Phizzy method of "ignore all nonsense" seemed to work.
• 

  Flg8ter

  The whole marking thing is most of it. It really let's them all personally CHOOSE who should be shunned and who's ok. More or less its a popularity contest. If you're inactive but in the in crowd, you're fine.... no worries. BUT if you're inactive and not real popular...... you must be doing something very bad!!!! I have never been in a hall that did not cliques, or some kind of political hierarchy within the R&F.
• 

  LongHairGal

  Label Licker:

  I am particularly struck by your words:

  "They are now being threatened that they will not be able to see their grandchildren along with not working for them anymore."

  So, the religion not only uses emotional blackmail to keep people in the religion, but also the threat of financial hardship. I am not surprised by this at all. It just shows how dirty they play and how absolutely morally worthless the whole thing is.

  Ruby:

  This behavior can only be classified as childish. I have seen similar garbage when I run into some JWs in local stores. The problem is that if somebody wasn't my friend 25+ years ago, what difference does it make now?? Not only that, so many years have passed that I hardly recognize them. How does a would-be shunner get satisfaction if the person they are "shunning" doesn't know who they are? Ridiculous, really.

  SlipnSlide:

  I couldn't have said it better myself:

  "My life is none of their business. I don't owe anyone any explanation as to why I don't attend meetings/assemblies/conventions and not going out in field service. None of them pay any of my bills or take any real personal interest in me as a person."

  In my case, though, it went beyond them not having any real interest in me as a person. These users thought they were going to exploit me and I wasn't having any of it.

  Let them shun away.
• 

  hoser

  Yes, they are shunning us and I am starting to believe it is sour grapes. I was talking to a relative a couple of days ago about one of my cousins who

  has been faded for over 20 years. The jw relative made the comment"they can do whatever they want and get away with it" . I got out of that

  statement that there is a bit of jealousy of the fader and that there should be some kind of punishment.

  When you stop attending the kingdom hall you soon find out who your real friends are and who are conditional friends

  hoser
• 

  SlipnSlide

  If they got in financial hardships, you can bet the WT will not offer any financial help. They'll tell you to pray to Jah on the matter. And the bad thing about it is that so many people I know have suffered from this very thing.
• 

  Sammy Jenkis

  Thanks everyone for the comments, it's been interesting reading what you all had to say. I remember the years I was active the inactive people were for the most part encouraged to come back- never isolated.

  In response to black sheep:

  "Why the vomit reference?

  If you want to fade .... keep your trap shut and just fade. If you tell her why you are fading .... your chances of being shunned go through the roof."

  I'm telling you what she told me, apparently in this talk the speaker compared faders to those who return to the "bad" as they abandoned the ways of the truth. Why not keep my trap shut and just fade? Because I like my family and my mother and when she asks me a question I respond truthfully although I might not like her reaction. I've done the same with the JW's that ask what hall I go to, it's not hard to tell them I'm inactive nor does it hurt.

  I was simply surprised that at the assembly they addressed the issue and this particular speaker went so far as to say that faders should be avoided and my mother droned out and stepped in line. I could not recall an occasion during my service as a robot in which that kind of importance was placed on the isolation of faders- that's all.

  Free2beme and scully I completely agree, thanks again everyone. Namaste!
• 

  DATA-DOG

  It does depend on the speaker. Our CO gave the needs of the Circuit talk. It was about associating with DF'd ones. He was ranting and raving, and said, " If you are associating with DF'd family, YOU will get DF'd!!" The official policy is that you can associate with DF'd family members for certain reasons [ I have never heard these reasons defined ], but the Shepherd Book only comments on associating with DF'd NON-FAMILY members.

  Official policy only matters when they want it to. They will suggest something from stage, thump their chest and it becomes law in the minds of the lowly r&f. I would just let things settle. The "spiritual high" of the CA may wear off as reality come crashing back in their lives. If you don't want to draw a line in the sand then just wait. I have a feeling this next year will be very interesting...
• 

  Quarterback

  I recently attended my CA and didn't get that message. I got the loyalty meessage to the Soc (Not Jehovah) about cutting off a relationship with DF'd relatives.
• 

  Phizzy

  I think a harder official line against faders is inevitable. The WT will realise that the freedom we faders have to speak to active JW's, and plant seeds of doubt, is something they will have to curtail or lose even more members each year.

  They have slipped it in under the radar for now, but just wait, in a few months, a year at most, they will speak of it as already official policy, anyone not preaching and not attending meetings is to be avoided.

  "Do you deliberately seek close company with someone who has an infectious disease ? No, if possible you avoid all such contact. Are not those who have ceased to gather with us infected with wrong thinking ? we need to avoid becoming infected with their negative and spiritually dangerous ideas".

  WT sometime in 2014.
• 

  gingerbread

  The Org has always had 'faders' in the congregations. But I think things have changed about the attitude toward these ones.

  Years ago a person could come and go to meetings, make the memorial, etc and still be invited to 'get togethers' and homes. I've seen a real change. Since our 'fading' ( the past two years ), the idea of self policing within the congregation is spread throughout the articles and talks - and most poignantly in demonstrations.

  It's a double edge sword - for the org., the congregation and for families.

  The org. is actively asking for increased donations. Losing the folks that are not regular means loss of potential income. The pressure is on the elders to keep the congregation 'clean' of divisive influences. The elders are very aware that when the circuit overseer comes for a visit, he will checking 'the numbers'. And families are fearful of the impending destruction that 'is upon us'. Many a freaking out because their children and grandchildren are 'leaving the truth'.

  ginger