by Phizzy 67 Replies latest jw friends
A very long time Pioneer, ... alone ... just sitting off to the side ...
staring into space, ... with no expression at all on her face.
>
Saturday night, just before the public library closed.
>
She gave up everything, husband children home career and now
where will she go?
>
Btw...... she does shun me & anyone else who disobeys "mother"!
>
Bleak, melancholy....... stripped ................ sad.
clarity
The younger generation Dubs now go to college, buy houses, have kids, save for retirement and invest more than the previous one. Maybe they see the position their parents are in and realize that they are going to have to take care of them financially.
All that, plus they have to be told every week to "put kingdom interests first, the end is so close!" And it just gets sickening after a while.
The working/saving/investing Dubs are riddled with cog dis about the end being close, and the pioneering/window washing/putting kingdom interests first Dubs are secretly jealous and hateful of the previous group.
Add to that the guilt-o-meter is cranked to 11 during convention time 3 times a year! It's a tough life for a Dub. All they can do is Listen, Obey and be Blessed.
The negativity, sadness and deadwood lifestyle of hundreds of JWs in my circuit was an integral part of me wanting more in my own life and taking a critical look into everything I had been taught from infancy. Reconnecting with others that have escaped has brought affirmation that life can be beautiful. I feel a deep sorrow for those I love that are still trapped but I am hopeful that in time they too will observe that real happiness and productivity is waiting for them by the examples of so many that have escaped and are prospering mentally, physically and in some cases spiritually.
Below is somethng I wrote back in the early 1990's. It reminds me of the crisis I was going through at the time. I have to believe that at least 1 out of 10 JW's is going through something similar at any given time.
But most don't come clean with their own responsibility. Their disappointments are betrayed by the bumps under their cloak of sadness.
"Nothing happened in 1975. Who would ever think that "nothing" could make such a big difference. But as a third generation JW who just spent his years from the age of 21 to the age of 30 in expectation of the promised "end" it was a difficult reality to face. Proverbs 13:12 sums it up
| "Expectation postponed is making the heart sick, but the thing desired is a tree of life when it does come." |
I wondered whether this was a miscalculation or perhaps a test. For the next 5 years I lived my life feeling that the end was still near and that Jehovah was sifting us to see who was serving just for a date. To all appearances this seemed exactly what was going on. For the first time in the history of the organization the number of preachers actually decreased.
But when 1980 came and the organization started back increasing it was clear that indeed the end was not yet and there was no significance to 1975 at all. Even worse, a kind of denial set in where the Watchtower was trying to make the rank and file guilty for having expectations for 1975. Again there is a scripture that sums this up. Ezekiel 14:9,10
| "And as for the prophet, in case he gets fooled and actually speaks a word, I myself, Jehovah, have fooled that prophet; and I will stretch out my hand against him and annihilate him.... And they will have to bear their error. The error of the INQUIRER will prove to be just the same as the error of the prophet." |
This scripture got me out of the "victim" mode. I realized that it does no good to point fingers. That's MY sin. The false prophet has THEIR sin. But the inquirer has THEIR sin.
The fact remains - I BELIEVED A FALSE PROPHECY.
I decided to take responsibility for myself. I have learned that true repentance is not just the feeling of regret. True repentance is accompanied by the attitude "How can I prevent this from happening AGAIN?" The solution to this problem is at Romans 2:21
| "do you, however, the one teaching someone else, not teach yourself? |
To avoid being misled by others I must teach myself. At least then, if I err it will be my own confusion. I will never buy into someone else's explanation. I will examine everything to the best of my ability.
I saw this sadness firsthand this morning. I was in Newcastle city centre working (I know, on a Sunday!) and a 1 day assembly was on at City Hall. As usual, and I remember doing this with my family, all the J-dubs wandered down to the Maccy d'd to get brekky. All of them, and I mean ALL of them had this hang dog expression on their faces. Non looked happy to have given up a Sunday for more brainwashing. It was as if they knew they were being watched?
It was eerie looking in from the outside.
AND SO LIBERATING!
I definitely saw this before I left. I felt there was so much depression and negative talk. There were very few that were happy and you could even see the fake smiles on so many of them. I remember telling my husband before we woke up and left that people just were not happy and you could feel it in the air. I got to the point where I didn't want to go because it wasn't a happy place in spite of what the WTBTS says about the brothers and sisters being a happy people.
The real sadness emerges when the baby boomers bury their witness parents who never thought THEY were going to die.
Most baby boomers are in their late 50's and if you are a witness you missed out on the greatest life any group of humans has ever had.
They also know that their own end is close.
I know what you mean, but it could simply be a matter of projecting our own state onto others. I'm quite young though, and I think allot of the witnesses I associate with believe this system of things - Satan's world - to be the cause of their stresses and any underlying sadness. They're "making the best possible use of their youth" now, and they feel good about that even if it sucks. But perhaps once witnesses no longer have that, reality starts eating away at the subconcious mind and the seeds of underlying sadness take root.
I've been meaning to conduct a bit of an experiment by asking my friends if they are truly happy. I think they'd say they are 'as happy as they can be in an imperfect world because they are doing God's will, but are looking forward to the time when wickedness will be destroyed and the real life can begin'...and all that jazz. Just a guess...but I wouldn't know how to bring it up without drawing attention to myself. It's a serious problem though, especially for an organization claiming to have the keys to real lasting happiness.
Yes, many of them seem to have lost their hope. Expectation postponed does make the heart sick.
Like some of you I observe at least 2 catagories of dubs. 1st: The True Believers who listen, read WTS literature, and try to OBEY all the ridiculous rules and regulations. These people are worn out and sad. Watchtower life has cost them dearly. 2ond: The Posers. Usually born in to the "family religion". They warm the seats at the KH but don't take much of it seriously. These are the ones who get some secondary ed, take vacays. plan for retirement, start businesses, rest a couple of weekends a month, go to the gym, and SOCIALIZE but ONLY with LIKE MINDED ONES who know how to keep their mouth shut. These people are mostly happy as clams because they have it all--family friends and enough money. JW life has not cost nearly as much because they do what they want when no one is looking.
