Well, we’ve been in our new house now for almost two years, and we finally got our first visit from the Witnesses, a couple of days ago.
Two very nice middle-aged ladies stood on my doorstep, asking me would I accept their two magazines for free? - they were old issues from January – Well, how could I refuse?
Once back inside, I started flicking through them.
The lead article in the Watchtower was all about “Goodness”. I was struck by how true Metatron’s recent comments have been regarding the dumbing-down of the magazine content. This article was basically saying that Jehovah is “good” because the Bible tells us that he is “good”. Furthermore, we all ought to be “good” because that’s so much better than not being “good”. It was idiotic and numbingly repetitive. Shallow, banal, lazy and desperately dull and tedious.
The “Awake!” looked a bit more promising, so I spent more time with it. There was quite an interesting article on zebras.
What caught my eye was a sidebar on “Why do Zebras have Stripes?” I thought this was fascinating because of the insight it gave into the writers worldview and mentality. Remember, Awake! magazine trumpets itself as being “educational” and having “insight”, and getting “beneath the surface” of things.
This little sub-article basically examined some of the theories that have been put forward over the years to account for the Zebra’s distinctive markings. It listed maybe four or five different theories, explaining them in a few sentences, only to dismiss each of them with a final single sentence, using a piece of simplistic “logic” to show why that particular idea could not possibly be true.
For example, the theory that the stripes might play a part in dissipating the heat from the animals body is rubbished because “otherwise all animals would be striped”. You get the idea. The sexual attraction- camouflage- chaotic distraction-theory all get similarly “demolished” in a few words. Surely this is leading somewhere, the reader wonders…
So what, then, is the reason, according to the insightful Awake! magazine?
“The hand of Jehovah itself has done this”
Yep! That’s it. That’s the whole “satisfying” answer. They are striped because that’s the way God wants ‘em. It’s God’s will that Zebras are striped and that’s the beginning and end of it.
For an “educational” magazine this is just a disgrace.
Can you hear the Voice of The Great Teacher in this?
“Please Great Teacher, Why is the Zebra striped? Why has the elephant such ears? Why do the people who drink from that well sicken and die, but the people drinking from this well thrive and prosper?”
How does the Great Teacher answer?
“Shut Up! Shut up with all your questions! The zebra’s got stripes because it’s God’s Will! Same goes for the Elephant, and for those blasted wells, and for everything! Stop asking all your damn-fool questions! It’s just God’s Will! And that should be good enough for you! Got that?”
Let’s salute the “Awake!” Magazine’s noble Educational Work! Worth every tax-dollar concession they can hustle!