Are there ever any scriptural reasons why a man would get a separation from his wife?

by CrackingTheWhip 36 Replies latest social relationships

  • blondie

    So where does it say in the WT publications that getting an unscriptural divorce is grounds for df'ing? Actually for financial reasons getting a divorce is better than an indefinite separation.

    I have known male and female jws who got a divorce...not df'd...but were informed that they could not get remarried scripturally without facing a df'ing.

    My mother got a divorce in the 70's and the elders assured her she was not in danger of being df'd...unless she remarried before my father remarried or had sex with someone else (provable to the elders).

    If the only issue is divorcing your husband, there is no official basis for reproof. The grounds for reproof are the same as for df'ing except the elders on the JC have found the person "repentant."

    *** w56 10/1 p. 597 par. 39 Marriage Obligations and Divorce ***. It cannot excommunicate any member just for divorcing on unscriptural grounds, but if that member remarries before the death or immorality of the divorced mate, the congregation would disfellowship this member for adulterous remarriage.

    *** jv chap. 13 p. 177 Recognized by Our Conduct ***While the Scriptures do not direct that everyone obtaining a divorce be expelled from the congregation, those who also commit adultery and are unrepentant are disfellowshipped by the congregations of Jehovah’s Witnesses.—1 Cor. 6:9, 10.

  • caliber

    *** lv pp. 220-221 The Bible’s View on Divorce and Separation ***

    Willful nonsupport.

    Extreme physical abuse.

    Absolute endangerment of spiritual life.

    Bottom line is do you still seek the approval of WT standards as God's standards or not ?

    In "the world "the 4 A's are the guideline





    However aside from 'rules " isn't the statements below the bottom line ?

    The main reason marriages break up is not conflict, communication problems, or sexual incompatibility," Orbuch says. "It's frustration — the day-to-day disappointment of the gap between what you expect and how your partner acts — that is most damaging. Are the "reasons "truly reasons or symptoms of deeper underlying feelings ,.....disappointments ?


    So this is what a lot of people refer to as "not being happy "

    If your expectations remain in a positive mode you will seek to work past problems

    once you let go of hope all is lost ... bitterness and self-justifcation take it's place

    In "Western Civilization", , what the Bride and Groom profess to each other what are called as "Wedding Vows".
    Even though it has become culturally understood as "Wedding Vows", the actual terminology of the would-be "Wedding Vows" reveals that the words expressed are that of being a COVENANT

  • caliber

    A vow is a promise made by an individual that he or she will do something or not do something. This differs from a covenant in that a vow could be made to oneself or to another, without being reciprocated or shared.

    While the covenant may sound like a contract, there is again a subtle difference. A covenant is a joyous thing because it is two parties coming together in an agreement that they will behave a certain way, because they want to.

    marriage out of obligation or forced circumstance without feeling love , may well be a vow but not a covenant in the true sense

  • Farkel

    cracking the whip, This was your assertion for your argument: :Willful nonsupport. :Extreme physical abuse. :Absolute endangerment of spiritual life. Your argument has virtually NOTHING to do with that assertion. Your argument not only falls, it is pathetically out-in-left field related to your assertion. Your so-called argument is personal to you (i.e. it makes you feel good about it) and has nothing to do with the assertions you presented to support it. Try again, but do better next time. Farkel

  • CrackingTheWhip

    I have read all the comments, and much food for thought. I just always wondered...

  • Miss.Fit

    Welcome crackingthewhip, I notice you are new. Most of us newbies post a thread to introduce ourselves. Just say you are new and share as much as you are comfortable. Hope to hear more about you. Sorry things aren't going well with your wife. Are there extras you can cut down on? Perhaps if she has to start sacrificing some things she might be willing to contribute more. They do say simplify. So if she wants to pioneer- what is she willing to give up? Missy

  • joe134cd

    Hey I personally knew a JW wife who would throw stuff at her hubby. When they had arguments she would go absolutely ballistic. Shout, scream, and the banging as stuff was been hurled at him. How do I know this. Because I used to live in very close proximity to them. Needless to say they did separate, and he went off and had sex with someone else and got DFed. While she continued as a witness.

  • vanyell

    Question: Can differences in religion affect the status of a marriage?

    I'm a non-JW man with a JW wife who converted to it three years into our marriage. As I was working in the graveyard shift most of the time, I haven't had the time to really check out what this JW thingy is really about. It was only after three years ago that I started looking into this messy piece of crackpots. I started printing out the history and failures of the Watchtower, how they twisted the Bible verses into a pretzel, and tried to share it with my wife. Unfortunately, she was not that willing to face the possibility that she's getting the raw end of a deal with the WTBTS.... After all, she reasoned out that JW are also teaching good stuffs and firmly believes in the kool aid mix of "New Light" I'd admit that I haven't been exactly an exemplary husband...but I have been trying to open her eyes that this "salvation" she is believing in, is not the real thing.

    She boycotted family reunions during the holidays, no birthdays and other occasions like weddings and christenings. As a result, I no longer attempt to arrange family reunions, had to go alone to weddings (making excuses to the host as to why wife cannot attend). Her own family no longer invites her to attend their side of celebrations. Right now, I just about had it, told her that I've given up hope on her, and that I have no more feelings, no love for her. Even told her straight out that her college education is a waste, with her blindly believing in the teachings of WTBTS without even engaging in critical thinking. She told me that it was a flimsy excuse to use her religion to declare that our marriage is dead. Is it?

  • jgnat

    Hi, vanyell. I'm a Christian who attends a church down the street and my husband is a Witness. We have compatibility in other areas, so I judge us a good match. I recommend for anyone married to a JW to get one of Steve Hassan's books. He introduces the concept of two personalities in a cultist; the natural personality suppressed, trapped, and the put-on cultist. There are ways to approach a person to encourage the natural personality to express herself, and eventually give her the power to walk away from the Witnesses. If nothing else, the assessment form on Hassan's website will give you better insight in to your wife - her interests and innermost desires - that is handy for any husband to come to understand.

  • vanyell

    Hi jgnat,

    Thanks for your help.... I'll take a look at Hassan's website... Unfortunately, I'm not located in the US, but rather in the Philippines, where there are thriving communities of JW congregations, with recruits coming mostly from the more needy section of society. My wife's mother and half-sister are both JWs, and she does have a history of depression and low self esteem.

    We rarely even talk now, as I work during the graveyard and swing shift. Then she goes on Field service either during the morning or afternoon. reads JW articles and no awareness of current events... One telling point on how firm her JW beliefs is when I asked her about blood transfusion for our kids... If our kids ever get afflicted with something that requires blood transfusion, e.g. hemorrhagic fever (dengue), she answered no to blood transfusion. When I asked her why, she replied "There is resurrection"... So in typical male boneheadedness, I went out and fell in love with someone else.

    Another thing, I'm more on the humanist/agnostic side. I really have a hankering to burn all the JW stuff in our house.......

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