Are there ever any scriptural reasons why a man would get a separation from his wife?

by CrackingTheWhip 36 Replies latest social relationships

  • jgnat

    The thing that gets me about Jesus' admonitions against divorce following the Beatitudes, is that he's talking about a heavenly ideal. It's not just "do not steal" it's "do not covet", don't even look at a woman in "that way", a marriage is to be based on complete harmony, love and trust forever, not merely a social contract. Those ideals are pretty much humanly impossible, which I think was the point. A marriage broken down by disharmony, anger, violence, hatred, or mistrust is already a failure. The divorce is merely the confirming paperwork.

    I think the WTS's handling of a "scriptural divorce" condemns couples to live in a damaged relationship so far from the heavenly ideal as to be an abomination. Free them already.

  • jgnat

    vanyell, thank you for helping me understand your situation better. I was a member of a divorce support group for many years, and I have a lot of sympathy for the humanist/agnostic point of view. You will still benefit from learning how to encourage your wife's natural side, as you will be sharing the parenting of your children for years to come. Fight for your children and their future.

  • zeb

    Sadly so many sisters try to copy cat the homes of others.

    "i want a house like sr **has." sort of thing.

    This was said to me on too many occasions and the sr quoted was a widow of a farmer who had sold the farm to buy the house. I have never been in such a fortunate $ situation. But the old house we have is paid for.......... by me.

    any way get married .. again?

    No. and i would never get married ina Kh ever. weddings like funerals are often little short of a recruiting meeting.

  • leaving_quietly

    This is the very issue that led me to TTATT. If there is no scriptural basis for their three reasons for separation, then what else is there no scriptural basis for? And the floodgates opened...

  • Libelle

    This is a timely topic for me as I'm working on a dissolution. He knows I'm leaving on account of the jw stuff. infidelity to speak of. Somewhere down the road he will want to remarry. He is under the impression that I need to have a significant other first. That way even if its six years after our legal dissolution he can claim infidelity and spiritual divorce.... as if I cheated on him. Is this valid jww teaching or his own rationalization?

  • leaving_quietly

    Libelle, it's his own rationalization. In my experience, elders are pretty staunch about requiring proof that one is scripturally free to remarry. I've seen them go to great, great lengths to get proof thereof. I've never seen them make up proof, though that doesn't mean that doesn't happen. What gives them proof? The only thing I've seen, aside from the marriage being dissolved due to infidelity in the first place, is a letter or verbal statement directly from the other person that basically says they've had a sexual relationship with another, thereby freeing the person from the marriage spiritually speaking. And it has to be a sexual relationship. A casual friendship with someone of the opposite sex doesn't count. Adultery must be involved, otherwise all bets are off.

    If you were to find out that he was getting remarried, all you would have to do is submit a letter stating that you have not had relations with anyone else (if that were true), and his world would come crashing down. If you do end up having a relationship with someone else, then you would basically be freeing him, scripturally speaking. I've known elders who intentionally cheated on their wives just to get out of the marriage and free them. It's not an uncommon occurrance.

    Best wishes to you. Divorce is a tough thing to go through. I may be going through it myself in the near future. I'm dreading the process, but not the outcome.

  • LisaRose

    Vanyell, I am sorry that you and your wife are struggling so much right now. I am sure it is hard for both of you, but I certainly understand your frustration. I think you need to really think about whether you want this marriage or not. If you still love your wife and want to make the marriage work, then it is possible. First off, you will never, ever get her to leave the religion by printing out anything from the internet. JWs are basically brainwashed into avoiding anything like that. She will just get more scared and stubborn if you insist. It is far better to slowly try to reach her true personality by asking questions and getting her to think for herself.

    Some here have successfully gotten their spouse out. You must be patient. Ask questions, let her explain her beliefs, let her talk about what is important to her. Maybe she will reveal some part of the beliefs that she has a hard time with. Don't be judgemental or argumentative, just keep asking questions. I live in a community that has a large Phillipino population (like 30%) and I know they are very family oriented and often have a lot of get togethers. Maybe your wife will attend one of those if it is a not a birthday or Xmas party. You need to help her stay connected with her non JW family, that will help her break free of the dubs.

    Good luck, I wish you well.

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