Becoming "unevenly yoked" ?

by Blttex 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • nonjwspouse

    If you truely do not believe in the WT any longer, then you are not unevenly yoked. Are you and your potential wife on the same page? If so, then go for it. Be sure you are over and done with the JW though. BE SURE or it will cause great damage to your mariage.

  • Ding

    I hope your wife-to-be knows about your JW background because she is going to be treated like dirt by many of your JW "friends." Make sure she understands that, is willing to put up with it, and understands that it's beyond your control.

  • konceptual99

    Of course it's the case that if you no longer follow the WTS then you are not unevenly yoked however never underestimate the potential for trouble with the elders further down the line if you pop up on the radar once again. If they get wind of of where you live and what you are doing then it's not unknown for some elders to vindictively pursue individuals.

  • DesirousOfChange

    A one year fade is a very short time for them to have completely "set you free" to just do what you want without their involvement.

    Yes, fornication will be the first question, and I have heard of them visiting a couple and asking the non-JW mate if (s)he was aware of the strict rule JWs had on pre-maritial sex. When that person said "No", the alarms went off.

    Second, is "apostacy" if you are married in another church. You will simply be DA (no JC meeting) because you have been involved in "worship" at a church of false religion. DA yourself by your actions.

    If getting the official DF/DA doesn't bother you, then you can do what you please.

    If you're trying to maintain a "fade" and keep communication open with family & friends, do the "destination wedding" at some romantic place (Hawaii, Jamaica, & such sites --even Vegas -- are popular here in the States) and throw the reception later when you get home. Only invite JW who are close family & close friends. Most others will be counseled to not attend.


  • MinisterAmos

    Why would you want to involve the poor woman in all this?

  • GLTirebiter

    Please be sure you are truly and permanently OUT of the organization, for your future wife's sake as well as your own, not to mention any children you may eventually bring into the world. Right now you are on an equal footing; going back "for your parents' sake" or to be on good terms with your JW friends is how you become "unevenly yoked". That would be difficult for everybody involved.

  • Narcissistic Supply
    Narcissistic Supply

    Its your day. Make it one to remember.

  • Blttex

    These are all great points. Thank you all for your input. Reading the possible consequences and not being afraid of them one bit makes me realize that their control of me is all but gone. It really is amazing what true freedom can do for you. I have never felt more free and as a result never happier than I am now. Thinking about a judicial committee doesn't bring knots to my stomach as it always has before. It's all I can do to keeping from laughing about how pathetic those committees and witch hunts are. The convention broke what thin threads were left between me and witnesses. The Saturday parts about apostasy were pathetic and childish to say the least. It was so bad that it didnt make me mad, it just made me laugh at how poorly they developed their arguments. Having my debate coach girlfriend there with me didnt help their case either. I felt like I was watching Sesame Street.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Bittec, Congratulations on your engagement. I am so happy for you, that you found the love of your life. That is so special.


  • Django_Unchained


    this is your wedding. with luck and perseverance, it'll be your only one. whether it is or it isn't, make sure you do for you.

    i guess what i'm saying is, don't worry about what they'll think and don't let them ruin a happy occassion.

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