Becoming "unevenly yoked" ?

by Blttex 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Blttex

    I haven't been to a meeting in about a year, made up my mind about six months ago that JW's are just another religion and that its not for me. Started dating a "worldly" girl 10 months ago and got engaged this past weekend. I'm having a hard time deciding who to invite to the wedding. All of my friends and family except for a handful are witnesses. The wedding is not going to be a "witness" wedding. Since I've stopped going to meetings I've hard almost no contact with witness friends. I talk to family regularly but half the time it's them asking me about coming back to meetings. I have friends that I've known my whole life and would like them to share this occasion with me but at the same time I think it would either make them uncomfortable, make me uncomfortable or give them ammo to spread around and potentially lead to a call from the elders. So far I've flown under the radar and would like to continue that way, but each day that goes by I care less and less about what they think. Your suggestions would be appreciated!

  • jwfacts

    potentially lead to a call from the elders.

    You will set yourself up for that. The immediate thoughts from any JW will be whether you have "committed fornication" and that will be the only thing an elder will want to know.

    Congratualations, and I hope you can enjoy the wedding with or without the JW friends and family.

  • ABibleStudent

    Congratulations Blttex to you and your fiance. Does your family know that you plan to get married? Once you tell one JW most JWs will learn quickly enough including the elders, so invite them all if you invite one. If it is possible, don't play by the WTBTS's rules. Play by your rules.

    Is it possible to do a quick fade before you announce your wedding plans by changing congregation and give them a phoney mailing address?

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,


  • 3rdgen

    Some have decided to elope then have a party/reception later in a few days or weeks. Others decide to have the wedding at the reception venue. This eliminates the KH issues and is more convient for the guests. Only invite those who you REALLY want to be there. If some object, they aren't your real friends or family.

  • Quarterback

    Congratulations on getting married. Depending on your how your JW friends/family feels about you marrying an unbeleiver will determine if they will attend. Just ask them to RSVP you when you provide them with the invitations.

    I wish you a joyous wedding day.

  • Miss.Fit

    .please be very sure that you do not want a future with the JWs. It is hard to be "inthe truth" and married to an unbeliever. If you are serious about being out but you dont want to be DA or DF make sure you do not get married by a minister or religious person, make sure it is in a secular place..

    Expect a visit from the elders to try to talk you out of it and to make sure you are not doing anything pagan or apostate in your wedding.

  • Hortensia

    jesus -- can't JWs mind their own business? I got married in a church by a minister (husband was religious), invited a few old friends even though it had been years since I darkened the door of a KH. My mother and stepfather came, watched the wedding through a window. Wouldn't even enter the building. The few other JWs declined, writing some JW crap in their refusals. I said, "do what you have to do."

    Nothing came of it. No elders pursuing me, no one really gave a damn. OK with me.

  • laverite

    How about eloping? Make the day all about the two of you.

  • konceptual99

    The fornication issue will be the one the elders will most likely get all hand wringing about but with no evidence (two witnesses or circumstantial such as your finance coming out of you house at 7 in the am) they can do little. However, beware of them forming a JC to investigate the matter and then you not attend. That is a sneaky way that has been used to DF.

    There are no rules preventing witnesses from attending a wedding of one "marrying out of the Lord" but elders, ms and pioneers would likely lose privileges.

  • zeb

    havent heard from the jw in years didi you say. thats your answer. and laverite gives you a wonderful way to start your lifes together.

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