Fading fast children are starting to ask questions, need help. (page 2)

whathappened

Answer the question with a question, " don't you ever just want to stay home?"

Make up an excuse, you have to fix something around the house, you are ex pecting a phone call, you need to take a nap, etc.

Jeffro

always plan on being busy at work on meeting nights or doing something else that you enjoy and saying that you are working (having fun)

You can start with simple things like you work all the time and you need some time at home.

Make up an excuse, you have to fix something around the house, you are ex pecting a phone call, you need to take a nap, etc.

Making up 'excuses' delays the inevitable, and the strategy starts wearing thin when there's an 'excuse' week after week.

You don't have to go, so if you don't want to go, don't go.

You don't have to go into every detail about why you don't want to go, but be honest about what you do tell them.

You might also give them the option that they don't have to go, but not necessarily that they can't go.

Be sure your kids have some fun. They have to go to meetings, but you can counterbalance that by taking them to the park or other activities kids like. The next time you don't go to KH on a Sunday morning, while the family is at the meeting, pack a picnic lunch or go to a sandwich shop or fried chickien place and buy one. Then when everybody gets home, take them to the park, then play some games, then go for ice cream or whatever they like. You might invite some of their friends to go along, too. It might have to be school friends if the dubs won't let their kids come around you.

Don't get dragged down by panic or the seriousness of the situation. Show your kids that you have their best interests at heart. Ask them if they need help with their homework. Teach them things like how to use a compass by hiding a "treasure" and using the compass to find it. Get them some music they like and dance with them.

Keep it light and fun. Show your kids that life is not all serious or doom and gloom.

DesirousOfChange

Answer the question with a question, " don't you ever just want to stay home?"

I like the sound of that explanation.

You might add: "do you want to stay home with me?"

If you have had some kind of disagreement with the BOE or some individual locally, that you could claim has stumbled you, that's an excuse you can ride for at least several months until you "get over the hurt", etc.

Doc

DATA-DOG

Have fun with your kids too. Show them they are loved. NEVER lie to them. Someday they will reach an impass in their life, and they will remember that Dad loved them and NEVER lied. There will come a point in their lives when that simple truth means more than a fantasy life. Always teach moral lessons when you are together. Be a people person. I take my kid with me a lot, and strike up conversations with "wordly" people. I want my child to learn that people are people, there is no "wordly" as the WTBTS uses the term.

Here is a recent example. We spent some time with the family of a " Sister". They are not JWs. They are extremely nice and caring people. The ones that make dubs say, " They are so nice, they would make a great JW." So my daughter makes the comment, " They are really nice for wordly people." I made sure to let her know that saying that in not appropriate, it's prejudiced. That opens the door for more discussions, like, " When you here a brother from the platform say that "wordly people don't love their families like we do, is that true? What do think, based on the nice family we just met?"

Those things lay the groundwork for a well-adjusted child. When your child knows that you don't lie, they will be less likely to believe any lies about you from the Organization.

Aware!

I remember this caught my attention in the Jeremiah book.

Quendi

I really like the answer Jeffro offered. It is honest, simple and direct. There is no need to say something disingenuous like “I’m too busy” or “I’m too tired” or “I’m doing independent Bible study.” You’re telling the truth with no need to embellish it. A child can comprehend it as well as any adult, even one who is very deep into the cult.

That doesn’t mean there won’t be additional problems or questions. But it does mean you don’t have to remember what lie or excuse was used. And the transparency of the response will appeal to anybody who is honest-hearted, children especially.

Quendi

LogCon

Crazyguy

One meeting day tell your kids your going to stay home and read the Bible and you want them to stay and read with you. Tell them you have been reading the Bible and you want to start where you left off. Start reading in Matt 18. When you get to 18:20 you might stop and say something like, 'Hey, that's interesting. Does that mean the Jesus is here with us today? And, of course, if Jesus is with us that means Jehovah is with us too, isn't he?'

After they answer the obvious YES, you might add, 'Isn't that interesting, so I guess sometimes we don't have to be at the meeting for Jesus to be with us and that is the most important thing, isn't it kids?' Carry on your reading.

villagegirl

USE - The JW doctrine from 2,000 year old sexist middle eastern culture

"I am the head of the house." This is no time to wimp out.

Stand up to her. Tell her she will not rule you or rule your house.

( and this is coming from the queen of feminism )

But I am guessing this is not a submissive woman.

Remind her she is supposed to be submissive according to the WT.

You as the man and "head of the house" do not have to make excuses to her.

You work and provide for her? You house and clothe and provide everything

for her and your children ? Take charge. Start taking that 8 years old on

some weekend outings to do fun stuff. And if she gives you "attitude"

tell her, you do not want to see "attitude"

Get the JW smile pasted on her face.

Tell her she is to BACK-OFF and forbid any interrogations

from her, or from elders. Don't let them BULLY you.

Stand your ground, do NOT explain yourself.

As soon as you try to explain yourself you play into their very

convoluted shame game. Point out to her, you have a right

to stay away from meeting, you have right to be with your children,

and to do as you see fit . Do not allow her to talk you DOWN to the children,

or criticsize you. No critism will be tolerated of the "Head of the House",

remind her she took vows to obey you.

Tell her what her place is, draw the line.

Defend yourself.

OnTheWayOut

You could tell them that the meeting are awfully boring and repetitious and seem to be making less and less sense. Don't go into anything doctrinal.

In any case, be honest with your kids. They don't deserve to be lied to. They also don't deserve to have their lives stolen by a cult.

Those are great answers. Mum's fun after the meeting suggestion sounds great too.

Fading fast children are starting to ask questions, need help.

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