The more time I spend with "worldly people" the more I realize...

by confusedandalone 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • Phizzy

    I have a word I use all the time for non-JW's, I call them, and myself, "Normal People".

    This is quite deliberate, as JW's are, without doubt, abnormal.

    I am glad "Confused", that you have found such a place and the pleasure of such conversation and playing a game together. I love all "Blokey" things like that.

    I love Cigar smoke too, the big Cuban boys give off the most wonderful smell !!!

    I had a friend who used to smoke beautiful Cigars, sadly she has passed away now, nothing to do with the smoking, but when I was a JW I used to encourage her to light up, I loved the smell, and as she was truly beautiful, I found it a kind of a turn-on too, she had a mind of her own that girl, I miss her.

    Enjoy your freedom to the full ! Life is for living !

  • *lost*
  • HarryMac

    "they didn't know me... they knew of me"...

    Yeah, Kingdom Halls are a place to 'be seen'.

  • DesirousOfChange

    The worst part of that was that no ne really wanted to get to know that aspect of me - they just wanted to be friends with the elder that gave talks in hopes it would benefit them. Those are facts. As proof now that I am not an elder there is no interest at all. People will see me places and not want to talk - peopel who I helped with sound advice when they were in need...

    Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt.

    This is a subject that could be it's own thread.

    Titles are soooo important in God's Organization.


  • LongHairGal


    I am glad you had a nice time, but please don't develop a smoking habit. You don't know the pain of trying to quit.

    Yes, it is true that JWs don't really want to know people in the hall...unless they are "approved" association or can do something for them.

    Worldly (a/k/a normal) people come in all sizes and shapes and types. At least with worldly people, you usually know what you are dealing with as opposed to JWs who can masquerade as a good friend for years and then stab you in the back. You might not realize it, but you probably stand out to these new people as somebody different, so be cautious while you are having a good time.

  • respectful_observer

    Interesting observation, confusedandalone. I'd have to agree. When I saw your Topic line, though, this is what I expected to see (a bit of a derail, sorry):


    The more time I spend with "worldly people" the more I realize....

    ...that JWs are uniquely expert at putting in too little money on a group check at a restaurant. Go out with JWs...ALWAYS short, and not by a dollar or two. Go out with a group of non-JWs and everyone has kicked in WAY too much money. You practically have to force money back in people's hands.

  • Oubliette

    Yeah, it's nice to have people like you for WHO you are, not WHAT you (pretent to) believe!

  • Scully

    everyone "knew of me" but no one knew me. I realized that I never really had a friend who knew anything about me as a person or my background. The worst part of that was that no ne really wanted to get to know that aspect of me - they just wanted to be friends with the elder that gave talks in hopes it would benefit them.

    That was one of the biggest disappointments I experienced when I was transitioning out of the JWs, that they were only "friends" with me on a level so superficial that when I wasn't there, nobody even noticed. This included a JW lady whose son was best friends with my own son, who played together at school and were in the same class. I spoke with her on the phone every day. At some point I realized that I was the one making the effort - I made the phone calls, I organized play dates for our kids, I went to her house. It was all a one-way street. I decided to put our "friendship" to the test: for two weeks I didn't call, didn't visit, or do play dates - I wanted to see if she would pick up the ball that I dropped in her court. She didn't. It was as if I never existed.

    I know that Worldlyâ„¢ people are more reciprocating, but hurtful experiences like that with JWs has made me very reluctant to form deep friendships with other people. I feel socially stunted in a way that I doubt that I'll ever recover from it. I'm okay with it... I enjoy my own company and being with my family. My circle of trust is very limited.

  • Vidiot
    confusedandalone - "The more time I spend with 'worldly people' the more I realize..." decent most of them are.

    confusedandalone - "Nothing feels as good as being able to make decisions and observations without being masked by some weird belief that everyone is trying to kill you."

    Sounds like you might have to change your username before too long.

  • BU2B

    Nice observations and I couldnt agree more. When my JW wife and I go to All inclusive resorts in the DR, Mexico, or on a cruise, we make good friends with other couples quickly, and connect more with them than we do with couples in our own congregation. They just feel more genuine, not trying to keep up appearances/

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