I just wanted to add my support.
I've suffered from anxiety and bouts of depression for as long as I can remember. I know this has been because of my years as a JW. I've been fading for the past few years, and I've had times when I feel I'm teetering on the brink of a breakdown. You kind of know it's happening, but feel helpless to do anything to stop it. You have taken a huge, life-changing step in fading from the organisation. Your brain is trying to cope with all sorts of thoughts and emotions. Anger, resentment, fear, regret. No wonder it sometimes gets frazzled! It's still early days for you.
I've found that taking a low dose anti-depressant has helped me to cope. It's also important to be kind to yourself and take some time to relax. Go for a massage. Join a local volunteer group. Take up dancing. Have some fun. It gets easier as the years go by and your anxiety will lessen.
Sit back and think about what you really want to do as a career. You are no longer suffocated by the restictions of the organisation. You can grab hold of your life and lead it in any direction you want. You are still young enough to change careers. Look at your options for further education and training. Use your foresight, planning and determination to make the kind of life you want and deserve.
I'm in my late 50s and I've just graduated from University, having completed a three-year full time degree in English and Philosophy. I've pushed way beyong my comfort zone, made new friends and grown in confidence. People have asked me why I wanted to do a degree at my age. My answer is "because I could." All those years of feeling like a loser, because I wasn't allowed to go on to further education when I was young, have been pushed aside. I'm starting to believe that I can do whatever I want with my life, because it is MY life.
Keep your chin up Julia. You are doing great!
Miss Fitt x