On the other hand, fundamentalists of Christendom [speaking of false doctrine,this is a great chance to whip our favorite whipping boy, Christendom]
teach that the universe, including our earth
and all life on it, is only a few thousand years old [not all that different from what we used to teach, actually, but you don't know that, because nothing written before this paragraph is still true or existent unless we say so].
Those who teach this doctrine—known as creationism—
may [some uncertainty there, since only we, Jehovah's people, can truly] have high regard for the Bible, but they
contend that God created all things in six 24-hour
days just a few thousand years ago. They reject credible
scientific evidence that contradicts their view [as would we, but we're willing to adapt a little to keep you Internet-using bastards believing us]. As
a result, the teaching of creationism actually discredits
the Bible [unlike the genocide, rape, senseless murder and contradictions], making it appear unreasonable and inaccurate [because it definitely needs outside help to accomplish that].
Individuals who promote such views might
remind us of some in the first century who had a
zeal for God “but not according to accurate knowledge [and thus useless and dooming them to destruction even if they believed everything else written in this magazine except on the issue of creationism].”
How can we use God’s Word [the Watchtower]
to overturn the “strongly entrenched” doctrines of
evolution and creationism [so others may reach the happy medium of believing whatever the Watchtower says]?
We can do
so only if we personally work hard [or harder, you dogs!] to
gain an accurate knowledge of what the [Watchtower]
...This baby'll write itself!