A Cry for Help

by Thoughtless 52 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Adventurousone

    Hello Thoughtless:

    It was brought out already that you should get a job if you haven't already, because you will be cut off from your family. You'll need a place to go when your kicked out. So start planning to break free. Your parents will probably cut off your college fund so be prepared for that too. It will cost some to get a place and turn on the electric or gas and phone. You'll need furniture and a washer and dryer. So it's alot to think about. Just be prepared. And you might want to start making friends with those that go to school with you, because you'll need to make new friends too. It's a whole different life but well worth it once you break free of the lies being taught by the WTBTS. But remember were here for you when you need someone to talk to. So you take care and prepare well for your future.


  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    Hello and Welcome! Sorry I didn't see this thread sooner. I'm glad to see that you've already gotten great advice.

    First of all, take a deep breathe. It's not like armageddon is coming tomorrow so you MUST get out now or MUST stay in. Your education is priority, you are still young, and time is on your side.

    I'm in university and have a pretty successful fade going, although I'm A LOT older than you. I've started a few threads about the psychology I've used in my fade. Several recent posts have given me more ideas for threads. If there's any way that you think I might help, send me a PM.

  • whathappened

    Welcome to JWN new friend. We can all appreciate the position you are in. Proceed carefully and to thyne own self be true.

  • Comatose

    I agree if you can stomach it try to stay in a free housing situation while getting the fullest education possible. All of my family is in currently. If you think talking on the phone would help or you ever feel panicky PM me. It does get better once you fade, but you may have to suffer through waiting on the fade while you are in school. I promise once you get older the few years you put up with it won't seem so bad.

  • Hortensia

    Hi! You're on a good path -- education, that is -- and I hear you about loneliness. You're living two separate lives, college with the outside world, and the KH and your adoptive family. I don't know why you shouldn't start to develop a relationship with someone at college. Just don't do really stupid things, like getting someone pregnant. Choose someone quiet and thoughtful like yourself, and when you have developed a relationship, tell her about not rocking the boat until you graduate. Then get the hell out of Dodge. Forget officially letting them know you are leaving the religion. It's not their business, and anyway, screw them.

  • flipper

    THOUGHTLESS- Welcome to the board ! Lots of great advice here that I agree with. I feel some of the best advice is to get yourself some good friends outside the Witnesses who will be supportive in your goals to get a good education and perhaps eventually for you to be able to move out and share expenses getting your own residence of some sort. Even something small or modest. It will enable you to have the freedom of movement you need to reach your goals. Something you do NOT have while living at home with JW parents still. And it will enable you to broaden out, meet some nice female in time and have a great relationship or girlfriend ! Sounds like a plan to me ! Good luck to you ! We are here for you bro. Hang in there. Also I recommend getting some counseling for your depression you are dealing with from a therapist- it would really help

  • earthfire

    Hi and welcome to the site! I am so proud of you for waking up so young and having the drive to take college all the way! You've been given a ton of great advice already so I'll just say what I'd do and you can take it from there. If you can stick it out and keep up with appearances through your BA then I'd say do that. I would look into as many scholarships as you can so that when you go for your MA or Phd you'll have a better chance of having at least part of that taken care of. You could also at that time look to a school that is farther away and you could live in the dorm. Plus get a job. It is a lot of work but people do it. You are so young and like someone else said, your chomping at the bit to get out on your own and make your own decisions. This is normal! But try to stay calm and realize that you have so much time ahead of you. You don't have to make all the decisions right now so be methodical. If you can, I'd start making friends outside of the religion, that is an important step.

    Like OnTheWayOut said, "Don't hook up with a JW!"


  • soft+gentle

    hi thoughtless - welcome.

    Richard Dawkins is a great person to read and follow if you have time (and if you don't want to you don't need to give up your beliefs in God or religion to do so). The important point that I want to emphasize is that he writes about memes that self replicate and multiply. Well imagine that Jehovahs witnesses teachings are very contaminated with them - examples are armgeddon is just around the corner, the governing body is the faithful and discreet slave. Such memes have been around for centuries and totalitarian organisations (religious and non religious) carry and spread them as much as they are victims of them. The sad thing is that people believe in them even when they have been proved to be empty and wrong.

    This is because they are like powerful viruses that you catch that can make you very ill, even kill you or on the other hand make you stronger to resist them in future. Just saying all this to help you to develop some breathing space so that you can work on your own projects while keeping a wary eye on not using too much of your vitality trying to dislodge these entrenched memes from those around you but remaining resistant and strong against them yourself.

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Welcome Thoughtless, you have received a lot of great advise. I would take your time with everything you do in regards to the religion. We have been out for about a year and we have taken our time with every decision we have made and so far we have successfully faded. At first I felt I had to DA myself and that was part of the plan but the more we moved on I made the decision to fade because it is playing their game to DA. I would only do it now if I was called in for a meeting and I would just DA myself and not attend but that could always change depending on what they throw our way.

    You are young and I admire you for going out there and getting your education, and that is the first thing you need to finish. I would not rock the boat too much until you have reached this very important goal. Your future depends on this education. In the mean time continue to make friends outside the religion so you have a support group. There is no need for anyone to know your business so give very little information to those that are in the religion.

    Just take things one day at a time. You have your whole life ahead of you and if you play your cards right you can fade and hopefully help your brother see "the truth". My husband was a born in and spent 58 years of his life in it and I spent 30 years of my life. It always makes me happy to hear that a young person has woken up and they have an opportunity for a wonderful life without the control of this cult. Best wishes to you and I look forward to hearing how things are going for you.

  • Thoughtless

    Ah, soft+gentle, I am extremely familiar with archetypes within human religions, and the Bible is filled with them, down to the forbidden fruit as well as the Tower of Babel which is the etiology of language.I am more of a freethinker, that accepts the idea and concept of a God as well as Jesus, but the FDS is taking the place as Jesus as mediator, and using Ockham's razor, that is enough for me to justify their evil. I won't go on to say that I am blameless though. I mean, I have not committed any serious sins, at all, but due to my independent thinking and freethinking, I guess I am not blameless. Also, my parent (mom, dad is dead), does not pay for my college. I explained the situation to college advisors and I got free tuition and books and stuff and nabbed a grant along the way (so I had some spending money), at my local community college. You guys have shown me more love than what I have recieved from some at the Kingdom Hall. I may just fade though, I am too loyal to my family although they have treated me like utter crap, but, I want to be there if they need help.

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