I have been lurking here for months now, and I just decided to post here and actually INTERACT with this community. I have a very specific/unordinary life, so I will not divulge too much information to protect my privacy. I am a baptized publisher who is under the age of 25 who attends college, and I do have responsiblities within the congregation. Yet, I have come to have serious doubts about the Organization, and I now believe it to be false, but I have no clue how to get out. Being adopted (through my adoptive family I have learned about the "TROOF") , the family that I have is the only family that I know, and leaving them will take a serious hit to my morale and I already suffer through depression and anxiety. For those in the truth, why did you guys still stay? I feel like if I stay, it is a serious flaw of character, and it is intellectually, and doctrinally immoral and I could not live a lie of falsity. Yet, I feel like if I stay, that could inspire many to go to college as well, instead of fleeing from it ,especially my younger brother who demonstrates a hunger for it. I am pretty young still, and I got 60 college credits within nine months and still graduated with Honors, and I still aspire to achieve more, but I feel that if I leave, it will be a deterrent to my brother in regards to higher education. I am a critical thinker, and I am more of an 'independent' person who tries not to ask much from anybody. I feel like I am on the bottom rung in the congregation due to the fact that I am persuing higher education, but I hide my intellectualism well (for it is a cause of contention at home). I plan after I finish my 4 year education to go to MA and persue my MA/Ph.D, and leave the rat race in the congregation. I feel that my own personal congregation is almost the ideal one and if it wasn't tied to the Organization, I would probably stay in. I act like a schizoid in the congregation, and pretty much asexual/schizoid at home, because I don't want to get too close with people now that I have an exit strategy. This is even affecting my friendships outside of the congregation (in which I have many), and it frustrates me and puts me in deep apprehension and paranoia. I am so so sorry to be so general in this, for there is a bigger story to tell, but I cannot afford to get exposed now, due to the fact that I am still reliant on my mother. For those in the truth, and haven't left, I especially need your help. I just feel trapped. I want to live, love, feel, and not pretend to be this drone anymore. I have cut off friendships, turned away great potential relationships, all in the name of falsity. I KNOW I have potential to exceed, but I need to know if I am doing the right thing, and such. I just need guidance.