Serena Williams: teen rape victim 'lucky' (page 2)

Simon

http://stoprelationshipabuse.org/educated/avoiding-victim-blaming/exercise/

I agree with this, but given that, it doesn't then follow that people shouldn't ever be careful walking bad neighbourhoods after dark. Yes, if you become a victim I agree 100% that it is not your fault, that you didn't cause it to happen ... but your choice contributed to an increased risk to yourself which surely would be wise to discourage?

As for the quote, I took it that she was saying 'lucky' as in 'could have ended worse' (i.e. dead in a ditch) and is an attempt to stir controversy by the media, not educate and inform.

mamochan13

Thanks Barrold Bonds, for highlighting a huge problem that's endemic in society. I appreciate you trying to clarify your comments, Simon. But unfortunately the attitude of blame the victims is prevalent and very deeply engrained. The cops do it. Everyone does it.

Rape prevention teaches women that they are responsible and therefore must take steps to protect themselves. It never targets the men. Men should be the ones taught that they never lay hands on a woman who is unwilling or unable to consent.

Yeah, bad choices have consequences. But I'm sorry. Kids get drunk. They party. Does that mean a girl who is doing what all the rest of her peers are doing deserves to get raped? I saw an awesome picture of an attractive woman who was naked from the waist up, who had sketched, "I'm still not asking for it" on her bosom. It spoke volumes.

Laika

I agree with you mamochan, teaching men not to rape has done much more to reduce rape than teaching woman not to put themselves in 'dangerous situations'

I mentioned here recently that the last straw for me at meetings was at the assembly earlier this year, the speaker giving the talk on soundness of mind used as his illustration a story of a girl who got raped on a night out as an example of not using 'soundness of mind'. The lack of soundness of mind in telling this to a room of 900 people where there was a high statistical probability of rape victims being present was apparently lost on him...

And also, why does Serena make reference to her virginity? WTF does that have to do with anything?

Paralipomenon

There are sexual predators out there.

Should there be? No. But there are.

I don't think she asked to be raped, or that the rapists should be treated with leniency, but my god, you can't ask for unlimited sympathy.

I read that link you posted and it has very black/white thinking. I just don't agree with that. Everything is a shade of grey.

Imagine there was another girl in the exact same situation, but she didn't get raped. Afterward, if I told her what a horrible idea that had been and what a dangerous situation she put herself in, I'm sure everyone would agree and chime in their two cents.

But why can't you have the same opinion after a rape? Why is the exact same opinion now horrible and unacceptable?

I just don't equate calling stupid behavior "stupid" to blaming the victim. Should a 16 year old girl be able to go to a frat party, drink to the point that she passes out and be safe? Yes. She should. Do we live in a world where she would be safe? No, we don't.

Raising awareness to that fact should not be taboo.

sarahsmile

Not too sure if this is just a JW mind set. Many people think that a person should not be in a certain place or put themselves in a situation. What situation would any girl put theseves into! It just blames the victim.It should not matter if the girl was using drugs or drinking she was a victim of a horrible crime.

Drinking should not matter it was her choice.

That was a horrible case. The girl had too much too drink or took some drug does not give anyone rights to abuse her.

She should have not been past around all night to be abused by football players and God knows who else.

Not too sure if Williams comment was suppose to be for everyone. Why a woman in todays world would state something like that is beyond me. Jot it up as immature.

The two or so rapist should not been there drinking that is what she should have said!

But I am sure Williams later realized her error. We all make them.

I do remember growing up the elders blamed women for getting rape. But back then so did most people. Times changed. Or did it?

Many girls have been disfellowshipped because they did not scream or they allowed a friend into their apartments. perhaps they trusted the person to be alone. Not too mention boys would not say anything if they were raped. I am sure they still practice disfellowshipping victims!

it really is a wonder that elders have not suggested victims to marry their rapist. There is probably a few cases.

sarahsmile

A lot of adults drink at those big games.

Probably few were not drunk.

This girl was kidnapped from the football stadium by two boys. Then she was taken around to different houses and raped. She was unaare of the entire night. Many boys peed on her and treated her like GARBAGE! She was cluless drugged and out cold starting from the game.

I think this was on 60 minutes.

With all the information out there rape and domestic violence is worse than ever!

Here is something that happened on the bus: 15 year was offerred a can of pop. It was un opened but laced on the out side with drugs. As soon as she got off the bus she was kidnapped. A couple of weeks later another victim was driving her to another state when a cop pulled her over.

Do we blame the young girl because she was riding the bus or that she took the pop from a stranger.No!

Itis the samething with the girl who was kiddnaped from a football game, The Big Red Stadium, and repeatly raped!

Victim blaming does not cut it.

Well we all make blunders and assume things like Serena did, and it could be a JW mind set. Just not too sure if she had all the facts.

Does elders still accuse the victims?

smiddy

Serena Williams : Isn`t this a case of the pot calling the kettle black ? ( no pun intended ) Nobody and I mean NOBODY can point the finger at anybody else and take the high moral ground ,least of all Serena Williams.

smiddy

jhine

I am a mature woman , never been a JW , so my thinking is not screwed by their attitudes , which I do understand to be sexist . I have had some of that myself . I do however tell my daughter and grandaughters to be SENSIBLE in the real world there are bad people . You have to be aware of that . If one of my female relatives was raped I would NEVER blame them . I see no suggestion that rape victims deserve being raped , of course not . It is just that you have to live in the real world where these things happen . I also tell my grandaughter to be careful crossing the road as she could be hit by a car going too fast to stop . Is it her fault that someone else is driving too fast for the area , no , but I would be derelict in my duty if I did not warn her of the danger and equip with the knowledge of how to avoid that if possible . Why is it that when it comes to this man /woman thing common sense seems to go out of the window ?

OnTheWayOut

I saw the Serena piece this morning and started a thread here. Then I saw your thread and encouraged people to just come here.

I said:

That sounds so much just like a JW. While there is a bit of merit to avoiding being that drunk, to make such a comment that seems to be more about blaming the victim and saying "What did you expect?" is really so cold. They tend to say that anything that results from mixing with outsiders is your own fault.

designs

Maybe the backlash on her comments will help Serena Williams grow up and rethink life and women's issues.

Serena Williams: teen rape victim 'lucky'

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