Who shuns you?

by Dawn 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • Dutchie

    I am not shunned by anyone. Technically I am still a witness. I am not as brave as some on this forum and cannot bring myself to make the permanent break, simply because I do not want to lose the relationship I enjoy with my family. My grandmother was a witnesses and consequently I am a third generation witness and my entire family are witnesses.

  • mpatrick

    I am not d'f or d'a, but I am known as "apostate". My mom has shunned me for months at a time, the longest was a year. Yet, at the moment she is speaking to me.

    My JW sister didn't acknowledge my marriage, yet she was there for me when I had my first child, but not my second, but by my third child she was talking to me again, but then she quit again, but at the moment she is talking to me. She wouldn't go to my d'f brother's wedding or reception, yet she just went to my cousins' reception(he was never a JW, so that makes it alright). My cousin's wedding was when she started talking to me again, and actually treated me like she had never stopped....it was weird, I never know what to expect. Usually, I let her say the first word, so I know whether she is talking to me this month, or not. It is safe to say, that it depends on he conscience "that day" whether she will talk to any of her d'f family or me.

    I have three d'f brothers and my father has always shunned the oldest of the three, but has taken my other brothers into his home when they needed a place. My father is a good man, but is very much a "loyal" JW. He will talk to any or all of us, if in regards to a family matter. When it comes to socializing, he will not, and he will not attend family social events if my d'f brothers are there. He will talk to me since I am not officially d'f, but he doesn't go out of his way to do so.

    My youngest brother is very immoral and still lives at home at the age of 26, he has never been shunned. But, he has done drugs, sold drugs (my mom even gave him money once, so as to make a quick buck to pay back money he owed her), had girls overnight in his room, has gotten arrested, and has had a DUI (driving under the influence). Since he was never baptized, he is allowed to act however he wants, without consequence.

    My oldest brother is still an active JW and has always shunned all of his family to some extent. He returned from Bethel in the late 80's with the attitude that he was "above" his family and "too spiritual" to be associated with any of us. He does call my mom and dad when he needs money though, yet feels no obligation to pay them back. He owes my mother a couple thousand dollars that he ran up on her credit card, and she has to call him on a regular basis, yet he screens her calls and never calls back. Obviously, he is the biggest hypocrite of the family!

    My family is so disfunctional, I gave up trying to figure them out! I am to the point, I just love them no matter what!


    He does not believe who does not live according to his belief.-Thomas Fuller

  • jschwehm

    My parents rarely speak to me anymore. I cannot remember the last time I heard from them. My in-laws keep in contact most often. They still visit us and speak to us although we never really talk about religious matters. Sometimes, my mother-in-law will sort of threaten to shun us but a few days later she will behave as if nothing ever happened.

    Jeff S.

  • curlers

    I was Df'd in 1981 and have mostly been shunned by all my family who were JWs including my parents. JWs from KH would literally walk across the street to avoid me.

    My paternal grandma who wasn't a JW influenced me not just b/c she bad mouthed them but my parents told me she'd be destroyed at Armagadden in 1975. She was the most wonderful human to ever live. My grandfather b4 JWs was a womanizer, drinker, gambler and hit my grandma. She told me she liked him better when he was like that b4 he got mixed up with the JWs. He became one when his 1st son died as an infant. They had 4 living kids and the JWs told my grandfather to leave my grandma b/c she was an unbeliever. This was in the late 1930s or early 1940s. He left but came back in a matter of weeks b/c he couldn't take care of himself. My grandma hated the JWs. She used to calling being Df'd being dismembered.

    My brother has actually told me if I hadn't been bapatized and just fell away I could be included in family functions. Two of my siblings have married and I wasn't invited. My maternal grandparents had a 60th wedding anniversary and I wasn't invited. Yet that grandfather died a year later and I was invited to the funeral.

    My husband has never been a JW and neither of my kids so they're accepted and I can visit now (we live 1,000 miles apart) in the guise of preaching to my husband and kids.

    This is the most retarded religion in the world. I was visiting last summer and an adult female cousin was also visiting who life is sordid is invited to our uncle and aunt's for dinner and innocently asks why I can't be invited. She gets the scripture in 1Cor. about not eating with whoever. I always say this is the greatest testimony to make people want to be JW. Treating your own blood like lepers. It makes my husband angry and my 6yo is confused.

  • ConnieLynn

    All my childhood friends shun me. My mom is also a shunner, except for the occasional phone call that involves crying and begging for me to come back to "Jehovah's Organization". One of my sisters hasn't spoken to me since 1994, and she had a baby that I haven't seen, when she had her baby,I cried, that one hurt pretty bad.She returned by baby gift and card. My aunts, uncles, cousins all shun me.

    But, I have one sister who is now DF'd and we are pretty close. That helps. The whole thing is so ridiculous from an outsiders point of view, how do you tell non-Jw's why your family won't talk to you? Any suggestions out there?

  • peaceloveharmony

    shunned by my sister and her husband, my brother and his wife and all the members of my former congregation save my best friend (although she shunned me for quite a few years after my da but not anymore.)

    mom, dad and two youngest bros still have contact with me but we never talk about spiritual matters.

    sigh, it's so stupid isn't it?

  • rhett

    Hi Connie,
    Tell them the truth. Your family is in a religous cult and since you're not they won't have anything to do with you. Hey, no need to try to hide what's going on because if you try it will just seem like there's something you did wrong. Besides, using your experience will just serve as a warning when the JW's come knocking on your friends' doors.


    I have relatives that are JWs but could care less whether they shunn us or not....ME-daughter and kitty are tight however..Actually them shunning me allows me quiet time to consentrate on more important things / get housework done / run errands, etc..Heck guys e--mail us at [email protected] I will not shunn anyone that is dissassociated -- I prefer being apostate myself ONE DAY AT A TIME / and when money is involved who shunns anyone especially x-wife's??? LOL PEACE ((((((hugs)))) to all on this thread

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    I'm at the point where I don't know who is shunning me and who isn't....

    The Borg has put a big fracture in my family but several have reached accross lately and we have become acquainted again...I posted a thread about it.


    I'm at the point where I don't care who is shunning me. I've built a life and have friends outside the borg now and who the hell needs them.

    I, by no means, mean to take away from the terrible hurt most of you are experiencing. I know cause I've been there. I just want you to know you CAN get past that. It is possible!


  • zanex

    my elder dad, my overly faithful mom and pioneer sis...the only family I had for years...they cut me off from the rest of my extended non jw family...I got that extended family back so all good now but damn i do miss mom, dad and sis every now and then...I lost em forever or until I go back to being a jw or hell freezes over...

Share this