My mother wants to see my kids

mrsjones5

I decided to call my mother more often at the request of my brother (the parental units have been driving him crazy and my calling more hopefully will decrease the craziness my brother has had to deal with). So I called her last Tuesday and the first thing that pops out of her mouth is she recovering from a weekend of babysitting her "substitute grandchildren" (her exact words and actually my nonjw cousin's children) since she doesn't get to see her own grandchildren.

Wonderful

There are reasons why I don't take my children to my mother's house. Foremost reason is my husband, who has done nothing to my parents, who my parents ave disrespected at every turn and opportunity, who my parents hate and have wished dead, is not welcomed in my parents's home (small wonder). I totally agree with my husband that the disrespect and wishes of death are a deal breaker for having access to my children.

Worst part of my parents actions is it has been done in full view of my children. They have listened to and watched it all. My brother even told me when I have let my children go over to my parents's house my parents used that opportunity to disparage my husband and I to my children. He was a witness to it and told my parents they were wrong to do so (that turned into a big fight).

So I'm not asking for advice. I'm just I guess venting a little. I know I won't be letting my children go over to my parents' house. I was thinking about letting them come over here to see the kids but hubby isn't going to go for that and I really don't blame him. The kids never ask about their grandparents and even on the hottest days don't ask to go to their grandparents' pool. My oldest son graduated from high school last year and requested that his grandparents not be invited. I honored his request.

jam

I here you mrsjones. What is so sad about our situation,

we do not need any more disunity in our families. But the biggest

problem, yours is similar to mine, a case of a parent that do no

wrong, ( My Ex).

jam

I hear you, sorry.

mrsjones5

Yeah jam, my parents don't get it and I think never will. I don't even tell them about my kids achievements anymore because they are so negative. My 12 year son has been on honor roll all year. When I first told my mother she said "well, lets hope he can keep it up". No congratulations, no how wonderfuls. When I asked if she would like to participate in my oldest son's football fundraiser she said she doesn't do charity.

Comatose

Gosh... I feel for ya both. They can't see them under those circumstances. Maybe you say if they apologize and act normal they come over? I don't know full situation...

jam

I,am probably the age of your parents or older. My kids mother

was just horrible to them (my boys). I rasied them myself alone.

My youngest played football, every game he would look up in

the stands to make sure I was there hoping his mom would show up, his high school graduation

he hoping his mom would be there (no show). His graduation from

the Coast Guards (no show). Both have turn out to be fine young

men. Today, they can,t turn around without thieir mom calling them,

I,ll be in town, love to see you guys, come spend the weekend.

And she have told the boys, I have made many mistakes in the past.

mrsjones5

Yeah, I've thought about getting my parents, hubby and I together to talk about this mess but I know my parents feel justified in their actions and do not like admitting they can be wrong to their adult children. It's just asking for a fight and at this point in time my hubby is not one to be messed with. He's done holding his tongue and being nice.

ShirleyW

Hey Josie just wondering when your mom said she wanted to see the grandkids more, did you say something like "well you know why you don't se them" or "are you saying you will now respect their father, my husband if I let you see them"?

mrsjones5

I didn't say anything. I tend to do a lot of thinking before I respond to something like that. I could have said something off the cuff but I wasn't in the mood to be nice about it so I decided not to respond to her request. I just listened and moved the conversation elsewhere.

OnTheWayOut

I feel for you. The ball is in their court. They know why they can't see the kids and they can bring it up and offer some solutions. I suppose you could just remind them if they try to guilt you into allowing more of the abuse.

"Mother, you know why you don't see the kids and I have never heard you attempt to correct the situation. So that's all on you."

My mother wants to see my kids

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