Welcome! It would seem you woke-up just in time to prevent yourself from making a huge mistake. Congratulations.
You said: i just want to leave without giving an answer to the brothers and my conductor.
Perfect. Do it. They have no authority over you yet. You owe them nothing, not even an explanation. In fact, that would only complicate things.
And added: i see myself being disfellowshipped if i get baptized so why even get to that point.
Exactly! Don't go there. You'll be glad you saved yourself the aggravation.
Please keep us posted.