by MMXIV 21 Replies latest jw experiences
wisdomfrombelow - safety in numbers?
A small group of JW's who act / think alike can do a lot to reverse the power in JW-world. I happened to be in a group that travelled and we were left alone because we were confident and visited congregations when we travelled. Also as you say when you haven't grown up somewhere they have a lot less power. Did you all go back to a full JW life afterwards?
mmxiv
I think that being educated makes the "simplified" meetings very boring. The educated ones that are still in are almost always in a foreign language group because learning a foreign language keeps their brain active and they can focus on that instead of other things. They can get something of value back from all the hours spent doing busy work in that religion.
MMXIV,
I took college classes while I was a JW. I never concerned myself with what anybody thought. I am a single working woman and these people didn't approve of me anyway. I was older and went because I wanted a change of pace. I liked the college environment.
Some years later a lady who was "out" of the religion for many years got reinstated. She apparently took classes while she was out, I suppose, in part, to do something with her time. All of a sudden another older woman who was friendly with her started saying she "went for college classes too". I guess this other lady made it "respectable".
This is the hypocrisy of the ridiculous stand against education. If the elders' kids and other popular people do it, then you won't be criticized. But, seriously, why should this concern you? Hypocrisy or not, what is primarily important is that YOU do what is best for you and your family. These people aren't supporting you. I wouldn't even ask their opinion.
When I graduated from high school, I went to college for two years. I became inactive. The JW thing was always at the back of my mind, so I did not enjoy the experience as I should have. I got letters from JW friends in my old congregation, and they were not condemnatory or judgmental. Sometimes I would get visits from people at the local congregation, and they were actually nice. Once in a while, one of them would pick me up and take me to a meeting. I was very lucky because my family were not JW's, so I didn't have to deal with fighting them.
In 1977, the year my daughter started kindergarten, I took two courses a semester for about 3 semesters. I had obtained permission(!) from my elder husband only after I had gone into a deep, catatonic depression. He told me I could go back to school if I got over the "I don't care thing." He warned me that it had not better cost him a dime.
Members of my non-JW family paid my tuition. I felt hopeful again. 1975 was gone, and I had a talk with myself about the possibility that I might actually have to live in this "system" into old age, and I needed knowledge and job skills.
Then I had to take a physical for school. My elder husband woke me up at 5:00 AM to remind me that the physical would cost money, and I had promised it wouldn't cost him a dime. I went to the doctor, who told me I had fibroid tumors and gave me two prescriptions. I threw the prescriptions in the trash in order not to spend any more money.
I enjoyed my classes and made excellent grades. This did not convince my husband that it was a good thing for me to be taking the classes.
I was continuing meetings and service, but it was more and more difficult every day. An elder asked me what classes I was taking. When I told him, he said, "You can teach English in the New Order," and gave me a smirky smile.
Nobody else had much to say, but I know they were uncomfortable with me by their attitude when they talked to me.
There were other non-college related issues that made me realize that I had to get away to preserve my sanity. So I moved to the other end of the country where I had a cousin who took me in. I was still a true believer for about two more years. As far as I know, I was never DF'd.
Anyway, since then, life has been much better because I've been free.
The educated ones that are still in are almost always in a foreign language group because learning a foreign language keeps their brain active and they can focus on that instead of other things.
Wisdom ...
You are exactly right. I have seen it numerous times. It can work to ones benefit also.
I recall both a brother and a sister from our area outside New York City (both very intelligent) went to the Spanish congregations and then moved on to French (Haitian). One was about 20, the other 25.
Not sure about the brother, but I know the sister ended up with a really good job in New York City working for a large import/export company and eventually was a manager. I can only guess what she made but in that type of position in the City you would earn well over $100,000.
Rub a Dub
Those who went to university and remained "active" in The Truth didn't get much guff over going, esp if they could commute from home. One who put off baptism caught a lot of flack because he was not advancing in The Truth. Kids' father got no privleges as a result, but didn't seem like he cared. He strongly supported higher education, as he was a born-in stuck in a lowpay job. The son graduated with honors, got high paying job and has no use for The Truth because of how he & his dad were treated.
Doc
Spent 2-1/2 years in community college in the early 90s; nobody in any of my congos batted an eye.
Maybe it's a Canadian thing.
ecan6,
I’m not sure I would have remained a virgin
you're probably right although in my no-doubt unusual experience I expected to be laid by the first worldly girl I happened to be alone with because that is what I was told. It didn't happen much to my great disappointment.
LongHairGal,
you're so right but in our younger years especially when born-in the opinion of those in the congregation seems so important. In my congregation when our PO gave the nod to say it was ok to go to uni if you were a deeply unhappy pioneer and continued to go to all the meetings then the floodgates opening - lots went to Uni. But the comments were scathing at assemblies and at meetings some would be personally insulting about it. hose who were popular were fine, those unpopular were treated like lepers.
Mum,
That is so sad. It sounds like finances were an issue in more than just studying but thank goodness you had non-JW family that cared. I hope your health is ok and that your education has been useful considering the new system hasn't yet given you a chance to teach your English (don't worry it's just around the corner)!
Doc,
The threat of taking away priveledges is often empty because it's already too late by then.
Vidiot,
In the UK some places gave you hell for getting an education, other places just kind of ignored you.
mmxiv
I went to university in 1987 when it was still greatly looked down on, and I was the first person to attend for many years in my state. My parents both had university education prior to converting, and felt education is important. My father was the PO at the time, but I don't think he ever took the concept of Armageddon seriously. When people would say it was short sighted, he would say that the Watchtower has not stopped their building work, so it is ok to plan for the future.
One way I managed to get away with it was to pioneer and work at the same time, which satisfied the brothers and gave me no time to get into trouble. One sister complained the the CO. The CO was not happy with me attending university, but he told me about the complaint and that he said to the sister to discuss it further once her child started to pioneer.
I went to bethel as soon as I graduated. They stuck me in factory cleaning for the first year, just to make sure that I had no pride about my education.
I finish my first year of a 2-year college program this week. When people found out a year ago there was allot of questioning as to if it was part time, and how long it would be, aren't student loans expensive, and if there are even any jobs... etc. I definitely felt like it made people uncomfortable, but now that I'm halfway finished I think more people are realizing how not big a deal it is and how short a period it is.
I'm still regular at meetings and participate in my 'privileges' and try and maintain enough service hours to fly under the radar. I think allot of the elders are kind of disappointed in me, because they see allot of 'potential' being... well, wasted. Elders are getting older and there aren't many worthy young men these days to succeed them. Not having a father figure, it's kind of hard to not let it affect me.
