See the job as a vehicle to achieve what you want to do personally. Get yourself that nice guitar, you are still young and have lot of life ahead of you. If you can get the business to a level where it gives you an income with little effort it'll give you more time to enjoy life. Don't go back to the drugs though!
I am miserable...am I crazy?
by Cagefighter 27 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
humbled
No--you are not crazy. You are creative and unfulfilled by the life you have.
It's like trying to keep a cork under water to repress your need to do--your passion. Do it.
Keep your feet on the ground and go.
Some poster said to go with your strength, what you have to give. If it's music, as you've said yourself, other musician know what you have.
Just stay the hell away from meth.
My wonderful oldest son is trying to put his life together after a prison stint over a meth charge. Meth will derail and depress and ultimately destroy you and your dreams. So steer clear, son.
Find good people to be around and don't be closed off from the Good.
-
Fernando
AnneB's advice really resonated with me: "One step at a time gets you to where you want to be. Leaping without a landing place only brings trouble."
-
alias
Cagefighter,
Lots of good, sage words here.
I hear you.
I am a creative soul who has walked many soul-crushing paths to sustain myself. But I must have an outlet for my creativity or I will die. There is no reason to be here if I cannot do what I was made to do.
And I do it. And I have a day-job. It took 25 years for me to get the day job that incorporates a place for that essential creative part of me to find fulfillment.
We are made to express ourselves creatively. Your longing for music calls you. Follow that. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Satisfy that urge to create. To be in the music scene. Shut off all the other "voices" in your life telling you to do otherwise. This isn't about your parents. Or anyone else you have/tried to/want to please. It's about you. "I am miserable...am I crazy" is you telling you what you really want.
Stay away from the drugs. Listen to the music that wants to be played through you. Get the tools you need and just do that. Get the guitar you love. Spend time with it each day. Even just 5 minutes looking at it and thinking about how much joy it brings you. Let it in.
Focus on you and the music. Let you ego go out of this one, the other musicians, the cred, building a reputation.
Fit that into your life while your day job supports the passion.
Little by little it will lead you where you need to go and you will know what to do with the rest. Maybe you sell your business. Maybe you keep it. Either way, play. Express. Nurture your creativity. Do what you love. And love what you do.
Small steps. Just this moment. Breathe.
I'm rooting for you. So is everyone else in this thread.
Hugs, alias
-
*lost*
This reminds me of an elder I knwon. A good man. Has dedicated his life. He too was into his music and guitars. He hasn't touched one since like forever, but you know music is his passion. his sacrifice for the society.
Now he is older and burned out, struggling like all the rest. Still waiting for the end to come, which could take another 60 yrs for all we know.
Don't sacrifice an ounce of happiness and joy you can give yourself. You may find your therapy through writing songs, playing guitar.
Chin up. Hope this gives you something to think about. Do you want to be sat there in another 30 yrs saying, if only, i wish i had ?
-
Satanus
Lots of good advice, here. At 35, its not that old to realize what you need to do. Being able to make a living by doing what you love and are good at is a great thing.
S
-
jgnat
You are about due for a mid-life crisis. I would suggest that the real you is all your choices. As an artist, I understand the value in having a steady source of income as I express my talent. Can you set up your business so you can work on it part-time? Simplify other parts of your life (buy-down the house, reduce monthly commitments)? Make room to express yourself in new ways?
-
ruderedhead
Hope you are feeling a bit better today, cagefighter. There is some very good advice here. As others have said, there is nothing wrong with doing collections. It is a legitimate business, and you have to have income. With no other obligations after work hours, as jwfacts said, you have free time to pursue your music while still making a living.
You said you are known to national musicians? Do you know any well enough to ask them to give you some direction in getting back into the music business? Someone who is already there may have some wisdom to share? Have a fun weekend!
-
Mum
Do what you love, and you'll never work a day.
-
Billy the Ex-Bethelite
I was about a decade older than you when I put my business up for sale and went back to school. You're not crazy from my perspective. I'd say a key is to learn from the past, but focus on the future. Ten years from now, do you want to be running a collection agency and fantasizing about a career in music? There's no hurry to change everything tomorrow. It's important now to capitalize on what you've got with your business and strategically restart your music career. As already mentioned by other wise posters here, professional counselling would help, and stay away from drugs.
And learn from the past, don't try to live in it, recycling past mistakes that you'd like to go back and relive differently. Time goes one direction, so you need to focus on what is now, and going forward from here. Don't think that you're disadvantaged by going into music at this age. Now that you're older and have more life experience, you have even more themes for your music creativity.