I am miserable...am I crazy?

by Cagefighter 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • mind blown
    mind blown

    Hi Cage,

    I know your frustration. I would suggest baby steps. I've been in many bands over many years, mainly vox and or bass. The majority of my friends are musicians.

    On your down time, write some tunes and re awaken your chops. Figure out what's your style. Record. Once that's done post somewhere you can get honest feed back. If you have a really good critial ear, start a page on Myspace, Youtube, and you can also post your music on Itunes (and make money) As suggested by another poster, do open mic at coffee houses and do some gigs, ways to meet a musical community of friends.

    These days you can record yourself if you don't have the money, and come up with some pretty decent sound.

    I wouldn't give up your day job just yet. With this economy even waiters are not making as much as a few years ago, unless you can get a job somewhere that's booming. Some of those part time jobs can be just as exhausting.

    An ol Hollywood joke: What's a Hollywood musican without a girlfriend? Homeless.

    If you can find a way to supplement your income, cover your bills and your happy with what you've created musically, go for it.

    FYI, there are many who are doing what they want and still going through something or other with their passions. Life can be a challenge, stay clean/no drugs, know you're in the company of many. You're not alone

  • Pickler
    Pickler

    Hi Cage, 35 is not that old! I'm 40 and I regret some of the decisions I've made where I let practicalities determine what I would do.

    basically being raised JW can be soul destroying, you are trained to ignore/push down any natural inclinations.

    then, even though you are out, you can still do this to yourself, years later? Why? Conditioning I suppose.

    you are lucky to have music. Get playing again. My son always has a guitar over his shoulders & follows me around the house playing. I pay $78 for a 1 hour piano lesson a week, so you can't tell me there's not money to be made in music, if you are happy to teach!

    I am finally learning to accept who I really am, not what I think I should be! I'm not that practical, or materialistic. Im a dreamer & reader, i love yoga, art, music & I am an introvert. Never want to dress up, don't care about money/status.

    Im married a man that is social, career focussed & Succesful corporate manager.

    tried to be like him, but.....it's just not me. So he earns big money & works crazy hours.....but I have to be who I am, and it's not that.

    i hear you, you are miserable now, try & move back to who you really are....you sound pretty cool to me!

  • jamiebowers
    jamiebowers

    I worked at a collection agency for five years as a skip tracer. I loved doing that job, but I know what you mean by saying that collections is a soul crushing business. If you can't sell in a timely manner, why not seek new business like back child support where collecting will feel worthwhile. In the meantime you can develop yur music career.

    Please check your pms.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Pick up the guitar. Just play, for now ... you KNOW how good it will feel! So follow your bliss, even if it's just for fun. You don't have to make any big changes today, or tomorrow. It doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. At 35, you have lots of time to effect change, one step at a time.

    And don't guilt yourself out about the business - we do what we need to do to survive.

    Lots of good advice here in the thread.

    xo

    tal

  • laverite
    laverite

    I like what Billy said. Don't beat yourself up, Cagefighter. Do find a way to pursue your dreams/music somehow. Find a realistic pathway to do that. Be happy! Where there's a will...

  • clarity
    clarity

    When we get past 35 ....

    and then think about what we would really love to do,

    we get frustrated with the ....ya but.

    >

    What is a ya but?

    >

    It is when you say ...ya but, by the time I get established

    I will be 40 years old!

    >

    Honey, you will be 40 years old whether you go for it,

    or not!

    >

    Don't miss out. At the end of your life you won't

    regret the things you did....you will REGRET all the things

    you didn't do. ..... All the best Cage

    clarity

  • snare&racket
    snare&racket

    Dont beat yourself up, whats done is done..... but keep in mind we only get one life, this is not a rehearsal, its short too!

    " ONLY PUT OFF UNTIL TOMMOROW WHAT YOU ARE CONTENT TO DIE WITHOUT DOING." Picasso

    I am 33 and back in school, always wanted to be a doctor and now I am just one year away from qualifying. To give you the perspective, I was 26 and miserable, broke and homeless, no decent qualifications, no direction, ex pioneer, ex bethelite and losing my religion..... I sought out the route to my dream and got on the road, every day is hard work but I am doing exactly what I dreamed of doing, seemed impossible at the time, totally impossible. I write this whilst in my hospital accomodation, working on the labor wards. Assisted 6 caesarians in the last few days.

    I always wanted to invent something too, get a patent with my name on it, ever since I was a kid I wanted to design some technology that solved a problem. Again, how the hell was that going to happen right? Well I saw an issue in global healthcare, I drew up and designed a solution myself. I researched all the electronics and science in my 'spare' time (early hours) and taught myself CAD and animation. I took the designs and animations to my Russell Group university and they became my partner, over 4 years we have patented it, developed it with experts in many fields. We went to the health system and got approval for trials on the hospital wards, last week I secured £200,000 of investment for my inventions proof of concept trial. I gave away 0% of equity, we got the money from the government and a potential buyer of the invention and the university.

    I am proud of what I have done,but I am not special, I am not clever, I am not different to anyone.... With both the medicsl degree and the invention, I was just determined and driven, I convinced myself that goals are achievable and set out to achieve them. Is it a coincidence that they have both happened? Am I that lucky? Or is that the key to success in our goals....... Just do them!

    If you just get on with what you really want to do, your passion and determination will do the rest......

    Keep in mind and remember, most people are too scared or indifferent to take these steps, they will tell you ALLLLLLL the reasons why not to do it, why to stay safe... All they are doing is telling you the reasons they do not chase dreams and goals. They are valid reasons , but only on the foregone conclusion that you will always fail. It is impossible for everyone to have their dreams fulfilled, but you can't score goals without taking shots and missing too. The first invention I drew up was no good as it was too similar to an old patent in another country, a design that was inferior to mine and yet legally there was nothing we could do. It looked like the end of the road and the commercial expert shook my hand and said goodbye..... But to me it just excited me that my idea was good enough that another person had thought of it AND patented it... I went away and designed a significantly better system that solved more problems and became an immensely more valuable idea. "Opportunity often comes disguised as misfortune or temporary defeat!" I went back with my new system and blew all the competition out the water, it was all new and patentable and the other kind of handshakes began!

    If i had turned my back on my goal to invent at that first rejection, nobody would have blamed me, I had tutors and friends telling me I didn't have the time to spare,with becoming a doctor anyway. But its not about saving face or ego, its about achieving! I used that experience to learn more about HOW to achieve my goals and carried on. So even if you get closed doors early on and it will happen, it doesn't mean your dreams have failed, the game is over..... no way up....it means you have to try another route to the peak. Some people see an obstacle as a sign to turn back and go home, some see it as a helpful mechanism "you can't go up the mountain this way" hearing this you then you stop wasting time and seek the right route for your climb to the summit. There is always a way to succeed, it just may require you to be adaptable.

    Every day, every hour that a person ponders the reasons why NOT to pursue a dream is another hour or day lost to the universe, never to be lived again. As i said initially, its a short one shot life.... Dont waste it being unhappy, don't part this privelaged experience with regret and what if's.....

    Snare x

  • AuntConnie
    AuntConnie

    Cagefighter your job is considered one of the most stressful jobs in the United States. I am going to play the role tonight, just this one night, as a kind Aunt Connie(means comfort) with some advice you can take or leave.

    If you really kicked the Crystal out of your life for the last ten years, you are exceptionally disciplined and talented. Jobs working in "Customer Care Centers" with telemarketing agencies are considered as stressful as Air Traffic Controller Jobs. You said you were involved with "Collections" and "Feel like you sold your soul", have you checked out some local clubs and talked to any musicians or bands needing a guitar player? The good music you play for your audience could negate any negative Karma or Juju you feel is building up from doing your job. Play songs to bring happiness at night and do your job during the day!

    How do you feel after your long day in the cubicle, good or bad? Is the pay great? Would life be more enjoyable "waiting on tables" during the day to get your foot back in the spotlight again? What do you want out of life, stability with humdrum existence or living on the edge looking for a break? Is it possible the drugs you left behind might come hunting you down if you rejoin your old scene? I watched a documentary on Aerosmith and the battle against drugs and in-fighting with the band, urban legends said Stephen Tyler was living in a Junkie Apartment when Run-DMC helped pull him out of Hell.

    Those ten years are gone, your not going to get them back and if you keep this same shit up your going to be looking back at age 41 asking why you did not follow your heart when you were 31 years old. It's time to grow up! You can have your cake and eat a sliver of it too. Why can't you work your job and play in a band at night? The Beatles played over eight shows a day in Germany before they were discovered, why can't you play one or two with your job? You must have some good skills to work for a "collection agency", they don't let clowns who fell off the turnip truck work these jobs, what is keeping you from reaching for a part-time music gig? Please don't waste your talent and let another decade pass you by, the regrets will grow even stronger the longer time passes you by. You are still young, how is your energy level? Can you burn the candle at both ends to keep up the Night Scene while getting up for the Day Job?

    P.S. Don't tell anyone I tried to be nice, I have a reputation to keep!

    Your Aunt Connie

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