by VeniceIT 39 Replies latest jw friends
((((Hugs)))) Ven,
So sorry to hear that she sent it back again. I had thought that the second effort would do it.
It would take a lot of patience to keep sending it over and over. Who knows when your sister would realize that it is senseless to refuse love?
Half of loving someone is accepting their love without resentment. We all need to remember this.
cellomould
"Money walks through the door, and memory flies out the window" Dream Theater, 6:00
Ven,
Tell your parents how many people here are sympathizing with them and give them my regards
Jst2laws
THANKS everyone!!!! what would I do without you?????
hey cello now you have to tell your side a the story
ven
"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching!!!"
(((((ven))))) & (((((ven's parents)))))
if all else, hang on to the doll there will be a time
to give it to her and i know she will appreciate it. i
know it doesnt help right now, but a time will come.
Venice,
I'm truly very sorry for the pain you and your parents must be experiencing.
I think if I was in your shoes (or your parents), I'd do like "myself" suggested and save every package/letter that was returned. That way if your niece does come to find you and your parents someday, you can show her that you tried to keep in contact and she can open the packages and see that you never stopped trying and never stopped loving her.
Again, I'm truly sorry!
Venice,
I am sorry for the pain this thoughtless act has caused you and your parents.
In everyday life, none of us would refuse a gift from a neighbor, workmate or associate even if we held that person in less-than-high esteem. We would be acutely aware of the unnecessary pain that would inflict and simply accept the gift. What does that say about a belief system that generates THIS kind of abnormal behavior?
TMS
((((Ven and parents))))
What a shame. As if accepting a little gift from your parents would in some way be condoning their actions. She must be a good little witness.
I know it hurts, it would make me angry too. But you guys will do what you think is best. That's all any of us can do.
think41self
She had the vocabulary of a brothel owner specializing in service to sailors with Tourette's syndrome
(((Sorry )))))))) (((((((VEN)))))))))
Oh Ven, I'm so sorry. Too bad your sis isn't like my JW brother. Sort of a Clintonesque 'don't ask don't tell' situation. Although he knows damn good and well that I'm an 'apostate'.
TR
Ok. It has to be said.
Your sister is using this situation as a way to maintain power over your mother. Any JW knows that in instances where a close family member is disfellowshiped, it remains a "matter of conscience" whether or not the shunning applies. Your sister can maintain a relationship with you and your mom since they are very close family members. However, she choses to apply the "shunning" practice to Martyr herself before the congregation ..."Poor sister so-n-so...she's LOST her mother and her sister...) So she looks like a martyred saint for abiding to the shunning policy. THIS WHEN EVERYONE KNOWS that when immediate family is involved, IT'S ENTIRELY A CONSCIENCE MATTER! (which would give her an "out" to communicate with you two if she really wanted to...but doesn't.)
I've been disfellowshiped for years. My mother (a very active and proud witness) maintains communication with me. She doesn't approve of what I practice, but we do not discuss religion. She respects my change of beliefs and we don't discuss religion. And my children are able to enjoy their grandmother and she them. My mother-in-law ALSO a very active witness, as well as my sister-in-law and her family, also witnesses. They are IMMEDIATE FAMILY....and we maintain a good relationship. We merely do not discuss anything spiritual. And they remain in excellent standing in their congregations. My mother even lets me know that people in the congregation still ask about me and my kids (after 10 years of being out!) and wish me well, although i am not in.
I would try to dig up some watchtower literature demonstrating the shunning policy being a conscience matter, highlighting it...and sending it to her with a note saying...."We can still be a family.....for the kids sake." It might not do a lot of good, but at least you'd be able to know that you put the WTS's words in front of her, letting her KNOW that the reason she shuns you is not because THEY'RE banning her...but because she CHOOSES to ban you.
Good Luck. I feel for you. My not-so-immediate family still shuns...and i really miss them.
