My name is Jessi, I am 24 and new to this site. I spent the last hour or so reading some of the posts and WOW! I think I am in the right place.
A brief bio, I was raised as a "Full" second generation witness (my grandmother converted) but always knew that I didn't want to be a witness. At 12, I told my parents. To say the least, my teen years were a nightmare. My parents kicked me out at 16. My mother tried to control me and force me to be a witness. She was really evil - but as it turns out, she didn't believe "the truth" either. She was disfellowshipped when I was 19 for divorcing my father.
My whole world was turned upside down. But I recovered and moved on.
I guess I must not have dealt with my upbring and subsequent shunning by my grandmother, aunts and uncles and the rest of my extended family. I had a panic attack and my doctor said that I was repressing something.
That something turned out to be my entire upbringing. The doc suggested that I find a support group, or at least talk to some others who went through what I did.
Of course, I have a great husband and friends. But they really don't understand how warped the witnesses make your mind. Once in awhile I have a brief moment of absolute terror that I made the wrong decision and Jehovah is going to swoop down and bellow at me. I do say that a little sarcastically, but after being brainwashed, it does tend to come back a little.
I'm very lucky that I was never baptized, so my brother will still associate with me and let me see my niece and nephew. My father, although still a witness is VERY enlightened. He accepts me, moreover and loves me. He actually moved to a different state, in part, because the witnesses were giving him such a hard time about spending so much time with me. We've never explored whether or not he'd be as accepting if I was df, but it does concern me.
My little sister is 19. She is baptized, but doesn't want to be a witness. She really wants to be honest with my father and brother, but if she is, my brother won't let her see my niece and nephew.
Anyone have any good advice?
Hi, I am new to this board
Hi Jessi and welcome to the chat. Many people have experienced the same situation as you are in, and find it very hard to deal with, the only advice to you I can offer my dear is this. Stay close to your dad and family, he loves you, and in time maybe you can bring up question of how different he would feel if you had been df. Being raised as a JW can be real taxing on a person, emotionally speaking, but many lose contact with family members because of leaving the org. or being df. I have lost contact with family members, but also realize I need to live for myself, not for others, I need to be happy for myself, not for others. Live your life the best you can and try to be happy. It sounds like you have a real loving father, hang onto that, and be there for your younger sister if or when she needs you. There are quite a few feelings you go through when you leave the org. Some have anger, bitterness, fear, loneliness etc. but as time goes by you work through these feelings, and sometimes things do look brighter. Once again a big welcome to you.
Welcome to the board. You will find many people here in a similar situation. You were fortunate that you never got baptized and so there is no way for you to be disfellowshipped. That is not to say that they won't stay away from you or give you the cold shoulder.
Your sister is another story. Unfortunately if she tells the elders that she no longer wants to be considered a Witness, an announcement will be made that she has disassociated herself which is really just another term for disfellowshipping. She will be shunned universally.
Some have taken the step for formal disassociation while others here have opted to quietly slip away into obscurity. There are pros and cons to both actions and eventually she will have to make the choice.
Welcome to the board. I have a similar problem with my youngest son as I don't want to be a JW any longer. I have opted to fade away. It doesn't have the closure such as Disassociating yourself does, but it's working so far. At least he is still in our lives this way.
Never Squat With Yer Spurs On
(((jessi))) welcome, it's nice to have you here !
Of course, I have a great husband and friends. But they really don't understand how warped the witnesses make your mind. Once in awhile I have a brief moment of absolute terror that I made the wrong decision and Jehovah is going to swoop down and bellow at me. I do say that a little sarcastically, but after being brainwashed, it does tend to come back a little.i think you will find a lot of comfort here. unfortunately i have heard similar versions of your story all too often here, so you've come to the right place to find a common bond with people, as well as support.
i don't have any advice about your sister but i'm sure many here will have some ideas. good luck!
Welcome to the board, Jessi. I think that each of us has wondered at least once if we had somehow made the worst mistake of our lives by leaving. As time goes on, however, and as you read more and more experiences and begin to clearly see how well the Society controlled everyone, you'll realize without a doubt that you made the right decision.
Welcome to the board, Jessie.
I hope you find plenty of support here. Relax and get comfortable, this is a place to get some healing done.
Hello and Welcome to the Board!
SORRY 4 the double post. I got one of those 30 sec. warnings and thought it didn't take.
Thank you everyone, for the welcome and support. It feels, strangely enough, like coming home. Oh, and just a little independent note about 1975 - the elders in my mother's congregation preached that it was the end of the world. They made almost every young witness in high school and middle school quit so they could pioneer until the "end" of the old system.
Welcome, you will find you have alot in common with most of us and your story is similar to many!