I am in LOV.....I mean LIKE!!! (page 3)

MsGrowingGirl20

Thank u all! I know that i'm moving too fast in my head...i'm trying to slow down

FlyingHighNow

Man, ask people who married very young if they'd do it again.

I am not against marriage, but I have been divorced now for 11 years and it's kind of wonderful getting to be a separate human being. Yes, I like being me and not having my identity all tangled up in someone else's. I know you'll do what you want to do, but being young is something you don't get to do over again. Marriage looks so easy from the outside. It's not as easy as that, especially for young people. Being on your own, taking care of you, learning to be you and what you want is so important at your age. Doesn't mean you can't date and have your try at some relationships before you settle down with your soul mate and think about raising kiddos and stuff.

MsGrowingGirl20

thank u flying....i do take advice by the way.

Dismissing servant

Fine, if you are 20 years old, you are way to young to think about marriage. Enjoy life and your new freedom. Take care.

FlyingHighNow

You're welcome. Remember that when you have chemistry with someone, it releases such chemical fury inside you that is akin to an addictive drug like cocaine. It feels so good and powerful, it must be love--right? Not necessarily. There's a good chance that it is JUST chemistry. And it can feel painful when the chemicals are taken away from you. So, it takes time and lots of good sense to figure out if the chemistry is just chemistry or part of a more holistic connection and even love.

I know a couple who is in their early 50s who are divorcing now. He was a journeyman carpenter and 19 when they married. He was all kinds of adorable with curly brown hair and big brown eyes. Cute like one of the Bee Gees or Gibb brothers. She had just graduated from college with a degree in psychology, an "older woman." They met at a camp and fell into this whirlwind romance and were married in a year. But real life sets in with bills, car break downs, snarky remarks and nagging on both sides. She got pregnant and totally threw herself into the child and motherhood. He felt hurt, left out and ended up trying to cope by engaging in his first affair. First of many. He didn't get to do all the dating and practice relationships young people should, so he fell into it after the marriage got stressful.

Fast forward to now. She has had cancer and shut him out. He left. They leave behind a trail of years and ups and downs. They tell us now they should have never married so young. She understands her part in pressuring him to marry at 19 and trying to "manage" this kid all their married life. He felt like she was more of a mother than a lover. They feel like they threw away their youth. They care about each other and they cherish their shared history and children and grandchild. But they would be the first to tell you, don't jump into major, serious adulthood so quickly. And many others including me would agree. A handful of young marriages are loving, fun and last through the ups and downs of life. Some end in divorce early on. Others last many years with the couple resenting each other. The odds are against a young marriage. This is especially so if Jehovah's Witnesses are involved even slightly.

Neither of you are JWs. There is no reason you have to get married. Relationships at your age are more fun in the dating stage anyway. There's no law against dating for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.

mind blown

Crushes/Love/Like....that's a tuff one when hearts are involved.

Since you just escaped the JW's and exploring your new found freedom, take it slow and DON'T GET PREGGERS! You'll be tied down in a whole other way!

So much can change in relationships. You or he can change. Life paths can change, money, family, work, school, etc. I'm sure since he's still young as well, he has evolving to do........AGAIN, take it slow and DON'T GET PREGGERS!!!

MsGrowingGirl20

Thanks lol! But nooooooooo...we will not be having sex.

Apognophos

Word to the wise, if you're still thinking of dating like the Witnesses do, you might be surprised by what he actually does expect from a romantic relationship, seeing as he isn't trying to live by Witness values ;)

FlyingHighNow

Thanks lol! But nooooooooo...we will not be having sex.

Oh, we've all heard that noble statement before. Like someone said, use ten kinds of super duper protection!!! Don't be a kid having a kid. Wait until you are fully mature as in your 30s if you can. Babies shut the door on your youth.

I am in LOV.....I mean LIKE!!!

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