I am in LOV.....I mean LIKE!!! (page 2)

Black Sheep

I'm an unbaptised born in too.

As long as you are absolutely sure that he is not in any way a believer, his JW past shouldn't be a problem between you. It might even be an asset in your case.

Lots of people have differences with their parents. That doesn't make them less marriageable, especially when those differences are religious.

Sure, it would be really nice if his parents were OK with your 'apostacy' from their silly little cult, but you are not going to marry them.

Seeing as he is unbaptised, his parents don't have any real excuse to shun him and not try to convert him. He can use this to talk to them as long as he remembers ALL of the WTs warnings for identifying 'opposers' and doesn't cross any lines. Gently does it.

If he is just pretending that he is a non-believer and you marry him, I do not see any possibility for a happy future for you both.

I have followed your journey since you joined and much of it had me worried, but this thread is a breath of fresh air. I wish you both well.

Cheers

Chris

LouBelle

why bother thellling the parents you were a witness - it's got nothing to do with them. That life is behind you.

finally awake

Go ahead and date him, have a normal romantic relationship, but *DON"T* rush to get married. Even if he is the "one", which he may well be, you don't have to marry him right away. Don't let the desire for sex push you into marriage too quickly.

Apognophos

I'd be just a tad concerned that he might have a flip-flop about the Witnesses and want to go back some day. But you know him and we don't, so I have no idea how firmly he believes it is not the truth. If you're not 100% sure that he is 100% that it's not the truth, if you think there might be some shred of doubt remaining in him ("What if they're right and Armageddon is coming?"), then I suggest asking him to make some kind of definitive declaration. In other words, ask him to declare, "I am confident that Witnesses don't have the truth, and here is why: ...". Don't help him. Even challenge him a little if you feel like it ("Yes, but did the Witnesses predict 1914?", etc.).

Also, make sure that if his family started shunning him, he wouldn't fake being a Witness just to get back in their good graces (does he make a living and live independently, or might he still need financial/emotional support from family?). His "faking it" won't necessarily harm your future relationship, but the danger is that he will be spending time under the influence of the congregation. If he's not rock-solid in his beliefs, they could suck him in. But as I said, maybe you know him well enough to know that this can't possibly happen.

Londo111

Congrats!

Try not to worry so much. And don't rush into anything. You are still young, being in this cult has not afforded you the opportunities to date like you would have had you never joined. You have not experienced the joys and failures that go along with the normal dating process. Those end up being a learning experience that equip you to be in a serious relationship later on.

Larsinger58

Wonderful!

cyberjesus

Have fun and enjoy dating... Many of our problems only exist on our head.

Mum

Slow down, and take one step at a time. There is certainly no harm in going to a movie with him. You don't need to jump ahead and fret over things that have not happened yet, and may never happened. LouBelle is right: there is no need to reveal that you ever had anything to do with JW's Baby steps, okay?

CADSkin

I say go for it. He knows you, where you come from as far as JW land, what you’ve been through to get out and where you’re headed. He’s a big boy. I think it would be harder explaining your background to someone who knows nothing of your background.

jgnat

Just a general observation; JW's tend to go from 0 to 100 awful fast. I blame it on their rush to avoid fornication. Go on a date. Get to know him as a person. Don't mention marriage. Soak up the moment.

I am in LOV.....I mean LIKE!!!

Share this