Interesting moment on subway today & other thoughts

by sd-7 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • sd-7
    sd-7

    I was heading home today, and I saw one woman reading a New World Translation. We made eye contact, but I hope I didn't glare at her or anything... Since I was already having a bout with depression today, it didn't help to see her. So then she gets off the train, right?

    And the funny thing? Another woman gets on the train, sits in the exact same seat as the previous woman, and opens the Jeremiah book and starts reading! Ha ha ha...I'm thinking, is this some kind of joke, is somebody messing with me here, or is this some kind of sign from above? Ugh...

    As the months are passing, we're nearing the 3-year-anniversary of my liberation from the Watchtower (next month). Hard to believe. My wife was going through old photos a couple of days ago, and I nearly cried, realizing how far we've come, how much time has passed. The pain never seems to go away, it's like it's fresh forever.

    My wife just had her circuit assembly, so it seems like she's been reprogrammed. I can always tell because the furniture gets rearranged and things look uncommonly neat all of a sudden at home. That, and Kingdom Melodies blasting out of my old iPod. And her loud phone conversations with my mom or her mom about the latest WT article.

    I'm a little depressed, but I suppose I'll make it. I don't seem to have much of a life beyond immediate family, books and movies, and this site. I wonder if having so little else as far as social interaction is wearing on me.

    Well, let me not derail this thread. This is why I do the satire. Because I have to laugh...if I don't, I won't make it, really. And writing about it gets the insanity of it out of my system, to an extent. Anyway, hope you guys are doing well. Thanks for enjoying my posts and all. Take care.

    --sd-7

  • magotan
    magotan

    Keep reminding yourself why they're so crazy, and you have to not give up...

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    You rock, Dear sd-7, and there are people who know it (so be sure that you yourself are aware of it, too.)

    Love from a quiet admirer,
    Baba.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    We do love you. You do need to find yourself a hobby or something to make your life more fun. What would you like to do? Can you volunteer or join a club of some kind?

  • clarity
    clarity

    Sd 7 hi.............life is a bitch .... and then we die!

    Old saying! ....aahh I'm with you on this, sometimes .... it is just.... uugg!

    If I don't have a project .... not a happy camper.

    >

    Spring is coming, so that's a plus.

    You have a gift & ...you know it!

    >

    Maybe begin that novel rite now! Armageddon is not coming

    so you have a lot of time!

    best of luck!

    clarity

  • ruderedhead
    ruderedhead

    sd-7, I'm certainly no expert, but it sounds like you may just be on the cusp of depression. Please find activities that you enjoy, several, hopefully, and engage in them. Do you like working out? Do you belong to gym? You could go on your wifes meeting nights. Great stress reliever! Volunteer? Local clubs (lions club, kiwanis, some local community club?) that you have an interest in that you could join? Don't know your story, but if you believe in God, is there a church you belong to you could become more active in? Are you interested in politics? Many groups to join that would share your beliefs.

    Do you and your wife do couple things once in a while on her non-meeting nights? Please consider the fact that YOU DESERVE TO LIVE THE BEST LIFE YOU CAN! Do what makes you happy.

  • Billy the Ex-Bethelite
    Billy the Ex-Bethelite

    "Well, let me not derail this thread."

    Dude, it's your own thread! I think it's impossible by definition to derail your own thread in the opening post, particularly when you include "& other thoughts" in the title. But if anyone can derail their own thread, I think you could do it... and I think Shamus could derail his own threads.

    And just to share an observation, I think you're clever and funny. And I don't think it's uncommon for such types to get serious depression, although it seems out of character. As cheerful and comedic as I could be, I went through serious depths of depression, particularly the closer I was to the cult. Things that should have made me happy, and I seemed to be having a good time, all seemed to hollow, fake, disappointing, and ultimately depressing as my life went back to a miserable existance as another brick in the WT wall.

    "I wonder if having so little else as far as social interaction is wearing on me."

    I trust your judgment on the matter. Do you have any family that isn't drinking the Kool Aid? I'd probably be having a hard time if it weren't for my siblings. It was odd how we really weren't on the same page when we were "in". But now that we're faded, we spend lots of time together.

    "Anyway, hope you guys are doing well."

    Well enough. GPA isn't as high as I'd like, but I keep passing my classes. This semester will be a pain in the ass, but I'll survive... by the power of Sparlock. Oh, and I was elected vice president of the student branch of one of the professional engineering societies on campus. Yeah, I know that attending college, not attending the Kingdumb Haul, and winning elections makes Jehovah sad. And making the WT world depressed is truly happifying to me.

  • OneDayillBeFree
    OneDayillBeFree

    SD-7 you've got a PM.

  • smiddy
    smiddy

    SD-7

    Just keep reminding yourself "those still in are mentally diseased" and their is a cure for it ,and hopefully one day they will find it.

    smiddy

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    SD-7 sorry to hear you are feeling down. I felt that way for quite a while after leaving, particularly after my wife went to assemblies, or after seeing JWs. Now my life is a blast. I have a lot of friends at work that I go out with, meet up with exJWs. I have a bunch of friends that I do a 50km cycle with in National Parks on Sunday mornings, which is such great fun. If you try to build up those new relationships and interests it will really help.

    I used to get irritated seeing JW's on the train reading literature. Then I notice a lot of other people reading Bibles, and prayer books, and Korans, and realised JWs really are just any other religion.

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