A keyboard confessional...

by nibbled 33 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • insearchoftruth4
    insearchoftruth4

    Hey Soul Sister: Welcome Home!!!

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Welcome, I look forward to meeting you and hearing your full story (we live in the ame area). My story: My parents and I converted to the JWs in 1969, I was 13. I was a true believer, my parents did not force me. I was attracted to the idea of a paradise earth, as I loved nature. I also liked that thry didnt believe in trinity and hell fire.

    As many young JWs did, I married young and stupidly. They taught then that if you were not married when the new system came you would then never be able to marry. And of cource we expected Armageddon in 1975. My desire to have a happy JW family died when my husband got disfellowshipped only two years after we married. I was told I couldn't divorce, so I made the best of it. Unfortunately my husband also could not keep a job, so I was a full time working mother with two young children. It was very difficult to meet the expectations of the organization while working full time and taking care of two children, but I did my best. I had some nice JW girl friends, which made my life tolerable. I was by no means a zealous Witness, but I never gave up.

    At my husbands urging, we moved to the Sacramento area. I found the dubs there to be very different, and I never made any close friends. During this time, my 14 year old daughter became mentally ill. My life became very difficult. I had a ful job which I could not quit, I needed the benefits. My daughter attempted suicide twice. My husband became ill and almost died twice in six months. I developed fibromyalga, a chronic muscle pain syndrome. Obviously, this affected my meeting attendance, although I usually made the Sunday meetings. The elders were not unkind, but since I stopped reporting time, they pretty much ignored me. I felt like the invisible witness. It is hard to make small talk when you are thinking about life or death issues.

    Things started to get better, but my desire to live the JW life never returned. The doubts I had pushed aside while I was in crisis mode came back. I realized I didn't reallyexpect this system to end. I had stayed in a bad martiage because the WTBTS said it was ways better to stay. I realized then that it was all just bad advice, I had lived in a loveless marriage for no reason. It hit me one day - it was all just made up, none of it was true. It was hard at first, it was like my security blanket, the JW belief system, was just gone, it was scary. If this was not the truth, then what was?

    To be continued... sorry I didnt expect this to on so long.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    I don't care to bring the Tower down, I care to bring my family out. And you know, I don't know that I can even say that. I just wish that I could touch their hearts, reach their hearts, that I could get through that stone wall with my love, my message, my pain, and my love, despite all the pain. Isn't it such a strange thing to be free for years upon years, and yet know that you're still tied—family.

    That's a powerful statement where you leave your heart open to examination.

    It's a long story of what brought me here. I will leave it at saying plenty of things were wrong with "the truth" and it took years to get the courage to do the simple thing of googling "Jehovah's Witnesses." Randy's TALK SOUP at freeminds.org led me to this forum.

    Whether or not each individual on this forum believes in God or not, we have a shared meaning behind the word "generation" that others simply cannot understand... am I right?

    You are right. It means a snicker or a tear when thought about, it means something simple and straightforward everywhere except at Watchtower.

    And are we all not part of the same generation?

    If we are reading this, our lives all overlap. I suppose we are all of the generation that woke up during this period.

    Are we together, or we many alone?

    Some are on different paths, but I started meeting other ex-JW's face-to-face and decided to be in the "together" crowd.

    Welcome to the forum.

  • gorgia
    gorgia

    Welcome nibbled.

    gorgia

  • nibbled
    nibbled

    AppleHippie, sent you a PM with the details.

    Tater-T, cute photo. Were you winking to make your dimple show up?

    InSearchofTruth4, what happened to the other three? Yo, sis! :)

    LisaRose, tea or something right? I was serious. You're the OAK one, right? PM me? I'm in Mexico next weekend, but home this. Probably more likely after I'm back though. We have stories to swap! Do you drink? Red, white or brown? I deliver! :) P.S. A short story was never satisfying unless it was a bore.

    OntheWayOut, I read this book once, it took 90 days. At the end I believed in God and that he spoke to me. You know what he said? It was something like, "a tower falls by removing one stone at a time". Unless you can march seven days round, so yeah. One stone... one stone... :)

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    A somewhat belated warm welcome nibbled!

    Thank you for sharing part of your story.

    I pray you enjoy your stay, make some great friends and find what you are searching for.

    I think I get you - at least in part.

    Looking forward to learning more.

    Greetings, blessings and peace to you and yours

    Fernando

    (SBNR believer - a simple Jesus follower - with a strong interest in Transpersonal Psychology and its application in Next Generation HR Change Management and beyond)


    (Why do followers of the Watchtower religion call themselves “publishers of the Good News” whilst unfamiliar with the “Good News” according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?)

  • Ucantnome
    Ucantnome

    Another question, thanks to who I am and what I do, that comes to the forefront of my mind, is regarding what brought you here?

    I found someone on FB that I'd not spoken to in more than thirty years, in a conversation they mentioned it was sometimes easier to look on the internet and find the answer than the publications.

    So I looked.

    Came across a thread that related to something I was discussing with my daughter and reading about so I posted my first post, about baptism.

  • alias
    alias

    Hi Nibbled (love that name),

    I don't post here much these days, but I read your post and wanted to respond. I've sent you a PM.

    Above all, I want you to know that you're heard, and you validate much of what we with our shared JW history are experiencing in our inner lives, no matter what we may look like on the outside to others.

    And I have to give you props for typing that amazingly long post on an iPhone!

    alias

  • RosePetal
  • RosePetal
    RosePetal

    My heart goes out to you nibbled, thank you for sharing what so many here are also experiencing.

    A Hg For You

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