A keyboard confessional...

by nibbled 33 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • nibbled
    nibbled

    gorgia - hi! my laptop is bouncing in my lap so I can't quite make out your avatar. is that a paper bird?

    Fernando - we are interested related secular topics. sent you a PM.

    ucantnome - how do you feel after nearly 500 posts? how old is your daughter; is she on the internet too? do you worry about that? I have young nieces who wil be old enough soon to access the internet and i wonder how it will affect them. i respect my siblings and don't talk to them about spiritual matters, but i hope that they find freedom without losing faith. its so hard to not tell them all the wonderful things there are to know, to teach them... the kingdom is for children like you! i think of them often of late, every time someone mocks me for taking the scriptures on face value "literally", I remember that it's childlike acceptance that matters, and to laugh it off. the scriptures seems so much easier to understand just believing what I read, rather than trying to explain how it doesn't mean what it says.

    alias - i cheated. by the time i was half way through i was home and was able to finish on a regular keyboard. there's some point where i stop having errors, though i might have fixed them all before i posted?

    RosePetal, what a welcome! Thank you :)

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Welcome nibbled, and thanks for sharing your experiences. Post on JWN as much as possible to help you vent your emotions, instead of raising suspicions of JW family and friends.

    Since you love your parents very much, I would recommend that you read Steve Hassan's books (i.e., "Combatting Cult Mind Control", "Releasing the Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves", and (his latest book) "Freedom of Mind: Helping Loved Ones to Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs"), visit his website, and view the following video. Since you seem financially well off, I would also recommend that you contact Steve Hassan through his website to either talk with him personally or to locate a cult exit counselor who is near you or your parents to help you awaken them.

    www.youtube.com/watch?v=sw-oF-Z_I7U

    Since you design using human empathy, write down your plan(s) to help awaken your parents. The following is an example of a potential and basic plan that assumes that you are financially secure:

    • Resolve your emotional issues first;
    • Contact a cult exit counselor to help you deal with your WTBTS induced phobias and indoctrination (it is sort of like peeling an onion), and to help you to awaken your parents;
    • Wait for your parents to discuss their doubts with you before asking them simple questions to increase their doubts;
    • Post regularly on JWN about your emotions and asking for suggestions how to awaken your parents (Blondie is a database of WTBTS excerpts on various doctrines);
    • Introduce your parents to non-JWs, who may have similir interests to them;
    • Plan vacations with your parents to meet non-JWs, who they might share common interests;
    • When going to WTBTS conventions, make reservations for you and your parents at hotels that are not promoted by the WTBTS; and
    • Reduce or stop donating to the WTBTS.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

    P.S. - Although you said that you are not interested in tearing the WTBTS down, is there a way that you can utilize your talents to help other exJWs and JWs to empower them to force the WTBTS to stop promoting JWs to shun family and friends, to stop using BITE control techniques to victimize JWs, or to protect JW children from pedophiles? I would suggest volunteering to help people like Barbara Anderson, Paul Grundy, Cedars, Steven UnThank, and Steve Hassan

  • nibbled
    nibbled

    Thanks and Hi Robert!

    Its interesting, I've studied mind control, but not from the Watchtower religious perspective. I'll hve to pick up Steve's book.

    Thanks for your plan steps.

    I'm not certain anyone will be free of emotional issues as long as they feel the absence of natural love. Otherwise, I'm golden.

    I've been out and apart from the Watchtower for 8 years or more now. I'm free and clear. I just happen to be recently reinstated; my sisters started having children. I can now visit without them having to grow up with "df'ed Aunt .....".

    My parents and family live far away. After 8+ years out, we have very little family relationship at all. When I went to visit over the holiday their focus was completing the Assembly Hall building project, but I was happy my mom spent the day with me, while dad went off to do his part. Strange to have been on the building site.

    They have no doubts, and we haven't enough relationship to get through to their hearts. Their hearts are hardened to me. I guess they calicified after living without me for so long. There is an effect on disfellowshipping parents too, not just on the one who was df'ed.

    Any suggestions welcome. Right now, after having opened myself up here I feel worn, exhausted, battered, abused. I came looking for love and fellowship, and I feel like I am some kind of target with the oh-so-tired "God isn't real woke up and believe nothing" type. So I probably won't be around. I had a satisfying life and somehow coming and joining this forum killed my happiness in just 12 days. I'd love other "nones" to talk to, but this isn't the forum for that. Too contentious. You live and learn.

    I wonder where the awakening Watchtower folks go who still believe in love? I know that's why I haven't been here any of the prior years. Is there simply a gap?

    Maybe you've forgotten the one track mind? They have no other interests. They have a singular focus on serving "Jehovah". I also am not around to be able to find people to meet and then introduce them to. We are nearly in different countries.

    My parents don't vacation. They are slaves.

    Going to the conventions??????? Sorry. I'm not going back into that!

    I haven't donated a dime.

    Robert, I am interested in supporting people who have a need like me. I may be years upon years clear, but I still desire to talk to 'like minded ones'. I want to be able to be a support for people who have questions and need someone to talk to. Who have no desire to suddenly end up among atheist xJWs, those who aren't sure if God exists and ask if this life is all there is to get absolutely hopeless deadpan "yes". Or when I post on my father who died when I was a child, to have returned the "he's dead" get over it kind of mentality. Harsh. Rude. Lacking in love and compassion, and respect. I spent 12 days here and now I am beginning to see what is missing and formulate a need. I would love to talk to you about that offline as you are obviously quite astute and discerning. I have no idea what you believe or don't; isn't that how it should be for someone with your intent? Kudos.

    I reached out to Barbara Anderson about a year ago. I didn't hear anything. I know Paul. I interact in circles with Cedars, not sure what help he'd need besides promoting the surveys. I am interested in working with him, as I'm quite interested in social data (like Pew Research).

    As for the other two, I'm interested in their content, but have you looked at these sites with the eye of a WT JW?

    They're not accessible.

    I want to work with people who have faith, but questions. Who can see that there is some difference between what they are taught, and logic based reasoning from the scriptures; between the Watchtower and the bible. I want to help people come to use their minds to think again, to strengthen their faith and help them find out who the Truth is, and where to go when they leave—to The Truth. We were created independent people each with a 1:1 relationship with our Father and his Son. That message got through to me, but it was given to me directly, and with the affordance of having been out for years upon years, so I could 'hear' myself think, at least.

    I do desire to also share the experiences of people who hurt having been cut off from family. The scriptures do outline the principles for shunning, but that is not what the Watchtower does.

    I guess to help characterize my intent— I'd love to be this generation's Ray Franz. I am a woman, and I didn't have the stature of the governing body, etc, but I hope that there will be someone like him out there for my family if and when that moment were to arrive. A voice they can hear, an approachableness, agreeable, reasonable, balanced, warm, loving, voice. Maybe his voice will live on, but right now. I am the one seeking that voice. Where are those like him who are still with us? Ray, though I never met him, helped me more than any other human on this planet.

    I hope that this post isn't a grumpy sounding one, though I'm pretty sure it is. I have to leave for work, but wanted to respond. I have been embroiled in a conversation for days, and missed your post. I've been crazy busy with work and in my real life I support people as a community counselor, and am currently supporting a recovering heroin addict. It doesn't leave much time free to come be on JWN and open myself up for the love of vulnerability (http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html) and so folks can get their pot shots in.

    With love and a sad heart ,

    Feeling the love for the people of pain ,

    A

  • tec
    tec

    Nibbled, I am sorry you are feeling so down. On-line is a hard place to find fellowship without also a few attacks from a few people who do so in regard to any and all faith (unless you have a completely closed forum to do that within). There are not as many of them out there as it seems... they're just kinda loud. Also, sometimes it is simple disagreement and criticism, without malice attached. Got to learn to get a thick skin against that sort of thing (says she who does not always have such thick skin herself, lol)... and just keep on keeping on.

    This place has a mixture of everyone (many having only the jws as their only common denominator)... so discussion is going to run the gamut. There are also other forums you are welcome on, as you know.

    Peace to you,

    tammy

  • EntirelyPossible
    EntirelyPossible

    Nibbled, sorry I took so long to get back to you, been in conferences all week. I just responded to your email.

  • grumblecakes
    grumblecakes

    nibbled-i dont know what to say other than 'i second that'.

  • SpunkyGidget
    SpunkyGidget

    Sounds familiar. I feel you.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi nibbled, I'm sorry that you feel down. When you feel down or frustrated, take a break from JWN. The nice thing about JWN is that members do have an opinion and you can chose to listen to it or not. I read some comments to threads that you started. The comments by the atheists and theists to your threads were actually fairly nice to you because you did not come across as discounting their opinons like some posters have in the past.

    I sometimes get frustrated posting on JWN also. When I do, I take a mini-vacation from JWN. There are very few members of JWN who want to actively empower JWs to change what JW's don't like about the WTBTS. I sometimes wonder if JWNer's are waiting on Jehovah (i.e., the GB to make another mistake). I wish that okage would return.

    Don't get discouraged about offering to help other people to empower JWs. Barbara Anderson is busy with helping others as well as doing recordkeeping for her husband's business. I have written to Barbara in the past and she has eventually responded, especially if I asked her for help about a unique idea that I wanted to promote. You have a unique prospective as a JW so offering to help people like Steve Hassan to connect with JWs is a good thing. I like to promote Steve Hassan's books either in welcoming threads or as comments to WTBTS informercials as a way of helping him, since he has helped me to understand the mind set of dangerous cult members. Also, maybe you could help Steve Hassan with helping to form a coalition of exJWs across the country to help awaken JWs using Steve Hassan's methods.

    By the way, if you want to reach out to JWs and exJWs near you who still believe in God, have you considered joining or starting an exJW meetup group near you, such as “Ex-JW” near San Francisco, CA ? I prefer talking with live people instead of typing to them.

    Best of wishes for you to find what you are seeking. Kuddos for helping a heron addict.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • grumblecakes
    grumblecakes

    Nibbled, Was this a Flight of the Concords reference? If so, Awesome.

    "It's my business brain that's in gear (hehe, I thought of "business socks", but it's not Wednesday, and I'm single...) above and beyond that of my personal interests which honestly aren't as clear as my human interests. "

    Also,

    "I'm interested in reading more of your posts and if you wouldn't mind- I'd like to check out the new forum you mentioned."

    Yeah, I'd like to see that forum too! PM me too please!

  • BabaYaga
    BabaYaga

    Hello and welcome.

    Sending love. We understand.

    Love,
    Baba.

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