by trujw 24 Replies latest jw experiences
The enemy delights in tormenting us and keeping us voiceless.
You have beat him!
Congratulations.
But do try to make peace with your mom if possible, explaining your anger, and relief at being able to express your inner feelings.
She is unkowingly addicted to a high-power cult.
If she is not evil, she does not deserve to be beaten.
(Morgan Scott Peck defined evil as "militant ignorance" and characterised it as "malignant self-righteousness").
Aristotle suggests virtue is acting in the right way toward the right object for the right reason. Courage, for example, is the appropriate mean between cowardice and foolhardiness.
So, it isn't wrong to be angry or even to express anger. The question is whether is was done in the right way and for the right reason. I think a drunken rage is probably not the right way.
On the other hand, you are clearly correct to express your appropriate anger, even toward your mother. I think the real error here was in failing to express yourself properly prior to this. As a result, you wind up doing something you wish you hadn't. Which isn't to say it is easy, of course.
What’s done is done- it probably doesn’t matter too much- but it would be better to be assertive rather than aggressive. i.e. to be able to state your point of view in a constructive way in arguments, rather than going off the handle- but I do understand how these things happen.
Stupid, stupid you.
Give the guy a break. He's a victim of the JW cult, and suddenly had a cathartic over the phone experience.
I disagree with oldhippie (an apologist for the JW's - so ignore him).
You have been bottling up these feelings for so long, it hardly surprising that these things can spill over.
I can not talk to my mother because I know that it wouldn't take much to express a similar outburst.
You did nothing wrong here.
JWs usually get a free pass from ex-JW relatives, but they shouldn't. True words are not kind, but that is reality. It would be a good thing, IMO, if every year on the same day, all ex-JWs contacted JWs and told them they have screwed up by following the WT religion.
trujw ,
Never do anything under the influence, it won't help your case
But I can sympathize and understand where your comin' from
I almost did the same thing to my daughter by gettin' involved
wit this cult. Like you, she would have had every right to blast me
Like your mom, I thought I was doin' the right thing. until I woke up
.
Thanks everyone for all your thoughts. I guess I dont care about the relationship cause we dont have one and I have apent 17 years being a nice wholesome son thinking it would help but no it didn't. One of the reasons I was upset yesterday not mentioned above was she moved out of state with not so much as a phone call. My thoughts are on the lines of Moshe. They always get a free pass. A few years ago my wife was at my sisiters and she went on and on about cathlic this cathlic that. My wife is a cathlic. We just smiled becasue we didn't want to affend my sister. I feel that they have no problem being rude and obnoxious. The arrogance at least with my family is unreal my JW sisters have not visted our my grandma in 15 years(Real christians huh). So yes as Old Hippie said maybe this is not the smartess move but then as others have stated when you live in this closed society of the mind maybe just maybe this will jump start some thought. I know one thing foresure the nice approach wasn't WORKING.
trujw,
You asked your mom a very simple but profound question: "when in the last 130 years has the Watchtower predicted anything correctly".....
I asked the wife this question...she answered me:" twice".
"If you go to College, or read apostate sites you will quit"
Have a great day
Everyone has their own way of dealing with shunning, hostile JW parents. We can never know all the particulars of someone else's relationship with their parents. We can only superimpose a rough template based on our own experiences. The extent to which some JW parents extend the organization's cruelty and apply it to their own kin varies depending on many factors, including their devotion to the old men at Brooklyn and their status in the organization, and even their background and culture.
I could never do what trujw did because I tend to steer clear of confrontation. However at the end of his original post, he said his nightmare of silence is over. So this is what worked for him. For me, I tried various ways of dealing with my JW parents and it seems that any time I ever addressed beliefs or practices (good, bad or indifferent) with them - things would always get worse.
So I only talk to my JW parents once every year or two now (they are aged 80 and 75), by long-distance telephone only, and I'm not sure why I even give them that much attention because it seems so hollow and empty.
I guess the main idea of the above three paragraphs is there is no easy answer, and at least we have each other here to sound off about it. (I was on this board very often 10 years ago, take a look at my post count.)
