The enemy delights in tormenting us and keeping us voiceless.
You have beat him!
But do try to make peace with your mom if possible, explaining your anger, and relief at being able to express your inner feelings.
She is unkowingly addicted to a high-power cult.
If she is not evil, she does not deserve to be beaten.
(Morgan Scott Peck defined evil as "militant ignorance" and characterised it as "malignant self-righteousness").