.....It is painful to watch...

by OnTheWayOut 53 Replies latest jw friends

  • crmsicl

    You have my support. It's a lonely job. Do your best and don't worry about the rest. I'm glad you stop to notice the birds.

  • LisaRose

    Keep in mind that someone going through a severe illness like that will have changes in their personality and in the way their brain functions. I have a chronic illness, nothing anywhere as severe as your sisters, but I can imagine some of what she is going through. I took some time off from my small business, thinking it would help me, but instead I got worse. Being in pain, and with nothing I had to do, I started watching TV during the day. I swear, my IQ dropped for every hour I spent doing that. My brain actually wasn't functioning well, I am older, 58, but too young to be that way. I reealized that for my brain to function, I needed something to do. I started my business back up and also started doing volunteer work as well. It has taken a while, but I feel like I getting back to normal, some days are better than others. I meditate daily, and write in my journal, That helps with the pain.

    My volunteer work is with the elderly. The focus of the program is helping with cognitive function by helping the participants learn a skill or develop an interest. Studies have shown that we continue to learn and create new neural pathways in the brain, even when we are old, and doing so may slow the onset of dementia. Our learning partners may do art, study literature, write their memoirs, really anything that gets them interested. Perhaps their is something your sister could do that would help her in that way, just a thought.

    Take care, I know this must be very difficult to deal with, your sister is lucky to have you to be there for her.

  • OnTheWayOut

    Good thoughts, Lisa Rose. I have wanted her to do more mentally, but she has either resisted or found it too difficult. My sister wears out quickly and her mental exercising isn't nearly enough. She reads fiction, particularly her favorite authors, Preston and Child. She has too much trouble with hand coordination to write and I tried introducing a Kindle reader to her, but she couldn't operate that, she can barely answer her phone by knocking it off the hook and yelling "Hold on!" while she attempts to get the headset to her ear and mouth. You have to be patient when you speak with her as she has to remember to breathe.

    I said in the past that her mind was "all there still" but I think it is wishful thinking to still believe that. Pain and drugs and the lack of physical and mental exercise are making her focus on basic needs. Talking and sitting are becoming chores. Eating is a chore. I took her out to the doctor and stopped for a sandwich and hot chocolate just before starting this thread. She loved the hot chocolate. I will probably bring her another one this week.

    Guys, I appreciate the thoughts. I don't want to sound like these things are impossible, but my sister truly is in the December of her life and is just somewhere short of totally bed-ridden. I've ordered the most expensive cushion for her wheelchair to extend sitting in it and residents like to bring her out to interact, but she is a welfare recipient in a nursing home who gets her needed meds and little else. She tires out and stays in bed most of 20 hours a day and does watch too much television.

    I will see if her trust fund can spring for counselor therapy and push for twice monthly or more on that.

  • freeflyingfaerie

    Life is strange, isn't it? Sorry you are in such a harsh season of your life. It sounds like you are doing the best you can in your power. Remember to take a little time for yourself, to rejuvenate...breathe...

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