He has never been a victim.
My Husband Said "Victims Of Pedophiles Come Forward Soon, Not Fifteen Or Thirty Years Later!" Right?
I'd fall off my chair if you really do have a husband or if you're even a woman.
The sad thing is that there are more pedophiles within Kingdom Halls than anyone can imagine. The Watchtower's own policies suggest that the elders should always give the pedophile the advantage. Somehow, nothing a young child says is ever given any credibility, while a dirty old man who has already been accused by others of "messing with their kids" is given chance after chance. That's why they call a Kingdom Hall a "pedophile paradise."
This is serious stuff. This is where empathy come into play. Imagine you are an 8-year old kid who just had "Brother Jones" stick his thumb up your bum. How do you process something like that? How do you tell your parents? Can you even talk to the elders without telling your parents first? It's embarrassing and you are ashamed. If you are a little boy, how do you tell your single mom what Brother Jones did - especially if she has been seeing him socially while looking for a new father for you? If you are a little girl, how do you tell your father what that kindly elder did after he put his hand up your dress?
This is the part that those of us who were fortunate enough to have never been messed with as kids can't seem to understand. As a little boy of 7 or 8, I didn't even want my mom to see me naked getting in the bathtub. I couldn't discuss the process of human sexuality with my father - even as an adult. So how does a little child get up the nerve - or find a way to describe their distress - after being fondled by Elder Jones?
That is why so many parents have no idea of what their kids go through when left in the care of another JW adult. The Watchtower knows that and uses the "two witness" rule to make it even more difficult for a little child to explain what happened. Who else was there when the TMS Servant tickled her crotch?
I know for a fact that my father would have dealt harshly with anyone who harmed me or my siblings - no matter whether they were JWs or not. At the same time, I also know that if I ever came home from service and told my father that faithful old Brother Hootsis (who was an elder at his last Kingdom Hall before he mysteriously showed up at ours one day) "unzipped my pants and played with my peepee" - that I would likely get a harsh spanking and sent to bed without dinner for "telling such a horrible lie" about another Jehovah's Witness brother.
This is even more complicated when one of the child's parents is the molester.
That's why it is imperative that the Watchtower change their policies once and for all by emphatically insisting that any report of a child being abused by anyone in the congregation should be brought to the attention of the authorities. Having been in law enforcement myself for a few years, I know that just because a report is made does not mean that anyone will be arrested or even charged. Police are trained to take the report and in the absence of any hard evidence (bruises, injuries, etc.) will often refer the case to Child Protection Services. Those professionals can usually determine if a child is lying or is confused about what might have happened to them and deal with each case accordingly. They also know what clues to watch for that indicate when a child has been bothered by a pedophile. "Brother Fungus told me that he would buy me ice cream if I would let him rub my back and kiss me on the ear..."
Elders and rank & file JWs are simply not equipped or trained to deal with these situations. At the same time, they should have their eyes and ears open for any signs of improper or unusual behavior by any of the members of their Hall. They should be especially watchful for clues that something is wrong - for example a seemingly normal JW child suddenly withdraws or acts afraid of others, even in the presence of a parent.
Elders are not policemen, judges, doctors, psychologists, or even teachers. They are enforcers of Watchtower policies and unpaid managers. That is why they need to understand that they should step back and get civil/secular professionals involved whenever there is any suspicion that a child may be in danger.
"...he said in all his years of elderhood "men and women who were sexually assualted came forward when they were old enough, they did not wait for decades to report they were abused."
My goodness, how many child abuse cases has he been in on "in all his years of elderhood"? Is it enough to amount to a large enough sampling to be meaningful? That would take quite a lot of cases, more than he would want to admit to as an elder since it would indicate there is an extremely large pedophile problem among Jehovah's Witnesses. He should be more careful with his words if he is concerned about protecting the Organization's reputation.
- And -
"...please tell me why he would say this."
In reality he is being defensive and attempting to protect his religion, although carelessly. Perhaps he is thinking about the Candace Conti case, and his intentions are to discredit it since Candace is an adult now; maybe he wanted her to come forward at a much younger age.
I doubt he personally knows of enough pedophile cases to have a truly informed opinion about when victims should come forward. He is doing what most JWs do when confronted with a problem, he is shooting straight from the hip and going headlong into denial, making up whatever argument seems to make sense at the moment.
- And -
"I listened to him say "Jehovah would not have allowed him to remain a elder if he was really that bad, would he?""
What a ridiculous and dangerous way of thinking. It is cognitive dissonance for sure.
Yes, forgiveness is possible but it should be remembered that the vast majority of pedophiles repeat if given the chance, therefore the pedophile should be watched by informed parents, and it is their call if they will associate with him or not. He may be truly repentant but that won't stop another offense.
He abused a 4 year old girl? We have to protect our children first and foremost, and JWs aren't doing that.
The arguments that your husband is making to defend Watchtower are very troubling.
Edit: I wonder if FHN is right. There are posters here that are quick to spot pretenders. Are we being played?
She is a pretender. Her posts are not consistant.
Crisis of Conscience, that's what my eyes do when I'm confused; they're doing it now!
Scenic Viewer, you can't help it on a thread like this! LOL
Sadly your lovely man is under the mind control of a very big and powerful corporation. He has been programmed by the propaganda cult methods to be incapable of seeing the organization in a bad light. The NLP and indoctrination have conditioned him to deflect blame away from the organization as he is incapapble of seeing bad in the WBT$. Hence why he says what he does. I hope he can break free of the WBT$ 'mind cleansing'(TM)
Can you report the paedo to the coppers anonymously???????
I feel very sorry for you having to hear this and witness it from hubby.
"Minds must be cleansed" (Watchtower, June 1, 1953, p. 350 par. 24). 24 In these closing days of wickedness Jehovah’s people must demonstrate holiness. They must not foul their minds with the filthy mental food on the propaganda tables of this old world, but must feed on the feast of fat things Jehovah provides. (Isa. 25:6; 28:8.)Minds must be cleansed and made over, mental circuits formed by old-world thinking and acting faded out and new ones put in according to new-world specifications.By privately studying regularly, by attending all meetings regularly, and by engaging in all features of the preaching work regularly mental circuits are deepened and such good activities become habitual, not at all the struggle they are when the mental circuits are weak and faint because used only occasionally. For ourselves and for others, make them strong!—1 Tim. 4:16.
After being badly upset by the behaviour of a couple of witnesses I spoke to an elder's wife and she replied "the fact they are Jehovah's Witnesses means Jehovah sees something worth saving in them so we should too".