I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart, Thanks to everyone who replied with their suggestions and encouragement. I took most of the suggestions to heart and applied them. So here is a little about that day with its events, emotions and lessons.
I was VERY nervous from the moment I learned of my sisters engagment till the moment i walked in the doors of the KH, for good reason too. I have not seen my family in over a year after being DAed, only in the occasional dream do I see them, but the imaginary encounters are always full of sadness, guilt and loneliness. So this being the first real encounter, I was nervous. My preparation was key, these are the things I did: I got consent from my sister that I and a friend could attend, I brought a good friend who is an EX-Jdub, we had a killer few days hanging out before the wedding(concert and snowboarding), I talked about what would happen at the wedding in the weeks before with some friends as well as with my counsellor so as to prepare mentally, and we dressed to impress. Not dressed, however, in what RubaDub suggested(yamakas and long robes).
When we got there we were escorted to the second school which seemed to be VIP! There was nobody else in there, jsut us! I asked the usher, an elder who had been an elder in my hall ever since i can remember, how my family would react if i went and talked with them after. Just a basic "nice to see you" and "congratulations", nothing confrontational. He told me that my family specifically said they didn't want to talk with me on that day so I should save it for another time. I agreed, even then I know that day will probably never come. So we sat and listened to the bullshit talk. It was highly generic and had nothing to do with my sister and her husband but it was all an advertisement and self-promotion for the borg. One thing he said that I thought was especially absurd was when he calimed that being a true christian (or a Jdub, as he was applying it) is never a hardship. What is with all that bitching about continuous persecution from satan, the demons, and all the world then? There was a prayer, during which I didnt bow my head or close my eyes. Instead I looked around at everyone and thought to myself what a weird superstitious ritual it was, to ask someone you have never seen and dont even know exists for sure, to help make everything in your life work out perfectly. I think they realize that if they want the marriage to work it falls on how hard they are willing to work at it and yet, they fall back on superstitious garbage in palce of what is real and tangible.
The usher came to the back just seconds before it was officially over and said that it would be a good idea for us to leave. We left and I felt great about the experience. I realize what different routes our lives are taking, my sister's and mine. But in seeing her face and the faces of my loved ones simling, it makes me happy. They have to try and sleep knowing they shun thier son/brother/grandson/friend. All I want is for them to be happy, if that means them being in this stupid religion, so be it. If not, even better.