I read your post last night and it bothered me all night. It is so very, very sad and you are not the only one unfortunately.
There is a man in my husband's hall who had five kids and was an elder, the kids had no cloths that fit and not enough to eat, I have heard stories of them from others in the truth who knew them at the time. They were so poor it was unreal. They would run the streets looking for food, and of course they got into trouble which ticked off the father. I have been told the kids were always hungry. But the father thought it was more important that they live where the need was great and he be the only elder in the hall just scraping by. The wife was going crazy and finally had a breakdown, left him and went back to school, and has dug herself out of the hole this guy put her in.
Now get this before the kids came this man had a good job and benefits, etc but he gave it all up when he got married and started to have kids. Now this is the kicker after his wife left him and started over he tells everyone she is crazy always has been and its all her fault that the kids turned out bad. But the really upsetting thing is he remarried, got his former job back and makes good money now and was just two or three years ago reappointed to be an elder and he is strutting like a peacock around the KH.
It makes me so sick when I think about it. This guy no more qualifies to be an elder then some street person who is mentally ill. He destroyed or I should say tried to destroy five lives. One of his daughters turned out OK but the other have turned out sad and lost. It just breaks my heart.
Your story also reminds me also so much of myself. Though I grew up in a JW house my parents were not big on field service, but when I got married, I married a elder who was 17 years older then I am. I pioneered with him. I understand what it is like to be so cold that your feet hurt. I swear I froze my little toes as now when ever it get even slightly cold outside my toes just throb with pain, every winter they do that now.
There were no bathroom breaks, as I could just hold it for another couple of miles right?The only time my husband would stop was if someone else asked him to but not for me, the same with being cold, it was always like you can deal with it. Yeh wearing a dress with the wind blowing up it.
I had had Mono (I think that is how its spelled) before we got married and I would fall asleep in service while we just drove around aimllessly The other elders in the hall after we got some as my husband was the only elder for the first two years of our marriage came over to our home and talked to me about my falling asleep. I was working 30+ hours a week, plus pioneering and having book-study in the house, etc. Mono takes forever to get over when you have no time to rest but they did not care. I passed out in service due to exhaustion and I got in trouble because of it, I was never asked if I was OK it was just that I had made fool of myself.
Oh the dogs were horrible we lived in the country and everyone had dogs, a lot of mean pit-bulls. It was demanded of me that I go to all doors. When I said I was afraid of dog I was ridiculed and told I did not have enough faith in Jehovah.
When I got bite I was told it was no big deal. I will never forget the pain I felt in my gut when this dog bite me and my husband told me it was my fault because I had upset the householder. The lady was just in a really, really bad mood that day and she never wanted us there in the first place but everyone insisted that she really was a sheep and that I HAD TO GO BACK TO her. While this time she kicked the dog out of the house at the same time as she opened the door and the dog bite me. It hurt so bad but my husband was pissed at me for getting the lady mad and said I caused it.
It took six months for the bite to heal. It never broke the skin but it just bruised hugely. We had no money and so there was of course no doctor. But the pain of my husband being upset with me was worse then the bite was. Now he says it never happened and he never got upset, it was like I am crazy and made it all up.
I could go on and on. This is such a horrible religion.