Hi guess i may have to introduce myself
Hi and welcome!
I am always interested in stories like this. I thnk it identifies as much about humanity as it does the JW's.
I think in any group and in society in general you will see a waning of peoples interest in others over time. It's not that JW's lose interest, it's that people lose interest.
The hurt within the org is that you are conditioned to beleive that the org is "better" than the world. For those that experience trials, especially those like yours with long term illness & depression, the cold reality of how 'fleshly' the organization really is hits home hard.... that is, witnesses are no better than anyone else no matter how many decades you have beleived it.
This is compounded by the realization that now that you have discovered this, if you leave you have absolutely nobody to go to since no JW will ever talk to you and you have never developed any realy friendships with 'worlldy' people.
Rikisteel, I am so sorry you are going through this right now. (((((hug))))). First off, there is really no such thing as an unforgivable sin. Jesus Christ did not die for only some of our sins, his sacrifice was for all sins. Secondly, the idiot that told you that has absolutly no way of knowing whether or not you had committed an unforgivable sin, even if there was such a thing. It is NOT his place to judge you, so his words are less than meaningless
I have been mostly housebound due to health issues and it can be quite isolating and depressing. Your feelings and problems are pretty normal for one exiting a high control religion, you have had the rug pulled out from under you. That being said, it is time to heal and get on with your life. Being isolated is contributing to your issues. try to find something to do that you enjoy and puts you in contact with others. It doesnt have to be a lot, even a few hours a week. I started volunteering with the elderly and started a small home based business. That gives me some social contact and makes me feel more usefull.
As far as Christmas, there is no need to start celebrating if you don't want to, but it may be that you are just depressed and that is why it doesnt seem appealing. This is the time of year when people get seasonal depression due to the shorter days and less sunlight. Get some sun if you can, or take fish ol and B vitamins. It works like magic for me. I like the idea of sending a winter themed card, there is no reason to hide out from your relatives. The fact that you are leaving your religion is probably not that big of a deal to them, they will just be happy to have you back in their lives at Christmas. So just practice to say something about it, but dont go into detail. like "well, after doing some thinking about it, we realize we were wrong to stop celebrating, so hey "Merry Christmas!"
Hey Rickisteel, The first indication that you have NOT committed the unforgiveable sin, is that you are worried that you committed the unforgiveable sin. No organization saves, no church denomination saves. Your faith is personal, between yourself and a loving God. If any man or organization tells you that you need them for salvation, TELL EM TO SHOVE IT! Jesus paid an extremely high price for YOU, dont let someone else try to add to HIS payment.
My heart goes out to you, we have had similar experiences.